SRS Another one of my friends got married. Another reminder of how fucking pathetic I am

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GlassJoe, Dec 14, 2005.

  1. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    He got married a couple of weeks ago. I've only got one unmarried friend left, but he has a serious gf and he's planning on marrying her sometime next year. After that, that's it. I'll be the only single one left. The odd man out. The 11th wheel. The one that everyone looks at and asks "why haven't you found anybody?"

    I thought for a while that I was ok with being single, but I'm not. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that physically, I'm everything that women don't want. I'm short, I'm pale, and my looks are average at best. I once got turned down by a girl I worked with in college. She told me she didn't want to date co-workers, then told another person that we worked with that she wanted someone taller with dark hair who was better looking.

    My longest relationship (if you can even call it that) ran about 10 days. Beyond that, the very few girls I've dated have never gone out with me more than twice and the reason was always the same: someone taller and better looking came along or it was a finanical issue, like with the latest girl I met. She kicked me to the curb because her ex, who she left because he choked her unconcious and kicked her in the stomach, called her one day and told her that he was getting a check for $400,000. I'm apparently the perfect guy...as long as the girl I'm with doesn't get anymore options.

    I've heard it several times over: "you have to learn to love yourself first." I used to have a very high opinion of myself. Then, girl after girl came along to let me know that from a dating standpoint, I was subpar.

    I hear it all the time from friends:

    "She's out there somewhere."

    or

    "You'll find somebody."

    So far, the only thing out there has been dissappointment and the only thing I've found is heartbreak. Sometimes I think I should give up. Just come to terms with the fact that I'm hopeless and there's nobody out there for me. I mean, its pretty sad when you take a compatibility test on an online dating site and they tell you that you're in the 10% of people that they can't help.

    Sometimes I wish I could just give up. I wish I could just shut down the part of me that wants to be loved and have some kind of compainionship; but its not that easy. Never has been. Never will be.
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Why are their marriages a basis on how pathetic (or not) you may be?
    Just remember that something like 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce ;) Don't rush into anything and end up part of that statistic.
     
  3. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    Its kind of hard to rush into something when you can't keep a girl's attention for more than a week.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Stop being so hard on yourself. A lot of married men would LOVE to be single again, if 5 out of every 10 marriages fail , you should give yourself a break. A lot of married people do NOT love eachother at all, why would one desire such a life to begin with? Just because they all go out and do that doesn't bind you to it, like if 10 000 people all rush to buy something should you do simular?

    Its all about the mind set that you have towards it, you have no idea how beautifull you are, and most of the stuff that happens is shallow and superficial anyway to begin with.

    You have to come to terms with yourself. It all comes down to that you have to support yourself. That you believe in yourself. I said it before that you should have been more like little Mac in punch-out.

    [​IMG]

    Even tho he's small, he's a fighter, he doesn't give up, he doesn't belittle himself by the bad comments his opponents give to him. He gives all he's got.

    And you know that's just the point, you can learn so much more of little mac , then glass joe, you always seem to put your head down, while little Mac always seems to want to head up. You should change your avatar from glass Joe to little Mac and let him be your inspiration source from now on.
     
  5. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I honestly don't know how much fight I have left in me.

    I'm not saying that I want to wake up tomorrow and walk down the aisle with somebody, but everyone I know has had at least one meaningful relationship in their life except me. I haven't been on an actual date in over 3 years. I just feel hopeless.
     
  6. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    try online dating or go to Eastern Europe for a year or two, it'll change your life :)
     
  7. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Welcome to my world.
     
  8. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Jesus guys, it's not that hard.

    If worse comes to worse, there is always some reason to go back and boost your education. Go back (or go to) college. Find a pretty, nice girl that seems interesting. Find an excuse to talk to her (homework or can you help me, two easy excuses). If you hit it off, ask her if she wants to just have some coffee after class... if she says yes, talk to her more, hit it off more, ask her out to a movie for tommorow. If she says she has a boyfriend when you ask her or after coffee, progress to girl number 2.

    Don't set extremely high standards in a girl. That doesn't mean sacrafice your standards for LOOKS. It means that there are beautiful people like yourselves who aren't as popular but are beautiful on the inside and outside. Good people.

    Find them, and you will be happy.

    No it's not easy. My girl for example was very sheltered which is why she wasen't amazingly social. But she was beautiful and good. Now she has a good job, good friends, we are having a wonderful relationship, and I'm happy with my life.

    Action is the key to your happiness. Sit and pout and live to pout another day. Get up and take action TODAY as in NOW and you will see results.
     
  9. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    You mentioned that girls have left you for 'better' guys. Well, what are you doing to make yourself the best damn bachelor out there?
     
  10. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I don't even want to get into my frustration with online dating. Its pretty bad when you can't even get the attention of girls who are just as desperate as you are.
     
  11. copperkali

    copperkali Mrs. Nicklk

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    What you have got to do is stop looking for someone. I have found that many people find someone when they really aren't looking. At this point do something for you. Like someone else said, go back to school, that is a very good idea, not only will you better yourself and make yourself more marketable (if that is even a word?) but you just may find someone :dunno:
     
  12. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    For some of us, yes it is.

    I can find excuses to talk to girls all day long, but the second I even suggest dating to any girl (no matter how long I've known them or how much we seem to get along), that's when the excuses start coming.

    I don't have rediculously high standards. I would rather date an average-looking girl that I could talk to then date some insanely hot girl that I had to struggle to find things to talk to her about.

    I'm proud to say that with a couple of huge exceptions, all of the girls I've dated were girls that I was attracted to because I felt that we connected on an intellectual level. But in the end, intellect didn't matter to them. Looks always won over personality.
     
  13. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Are you in shape? If not, get in shape. Are you dressing somewhat fashionably? If not, get some cool new clothes. Do you understand how to talk to women to make them feel attraction for you? If not, learn how.

    All I see is excuses on why you are unsuccessful with women. So was I until I got off my ass and did something about it.
     
  14. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    I haven't really been looking for about 3 years. I've changed just about everything about myself at one point or another. The way I dress, the way I get my hair cut, growing a beard, where I hang out at...EVERYTHING! It doesn't do me any good.
     
  15. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    it sounds like a lack confidence is whats holding you back. if you constatnly tell yourself that you are not good enough to meet women, then you wont.

    if you are meeting chicks that drop you for some sucker with money, then you are better off without the skank.
     
  16. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    thats all petty shit. if you do anything, do it for yourself, and not to meet chicks.
     
  17. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    there is more to people than clothes and looks. i think personality goes a long way. goes back to confidence. you can be a model, but if the ability to socialize isnt there, its gonna be tough. :dunno:
     
  18. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    My lack of confidence was created soley by the number of girls that I've met letting me know that I'm below average on the dating scale.

    If one or two girls dropped me for some petty bullshit reason, I could understand that and just say that I met a couple of whores; but when girl, after girl, after girl goes out with me a couple of times, kisses me goodnight, tells me how much the enjoy being with me, and then quickly ditches me the second for someone who's better looking, or taller, or has more money; then I can't help but think that maybe they're not the ones with the problem.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2005
  19. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Yea I thought that was implied... I guess not. Doing all these things has lessons that improve your dating life, not 'do these things to get laid'.
     
  20. SolShinobi

    SolShinobi New Member

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    First things first. What they think means nothing. They can smell two things coming off of you.....

    Desperation and lack of confidence.

    This is what you need first to keep the attention. It starts there. BUT at the same time....i am very happy at being single. I have an established career and that's up and coming. I don't even care or want to get married. I use to....but now...man you could not pay me to get married. Heck...she'd just take whatever i was paid anyway lol.:ugh:
     
  21. chunkylover53

    chunkylover53 New Member

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    There will always be people better looking and taller than you. Yet short and ugly people continue to get laid the world over. You're only 24, man up and get back in there.
     
  22. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    thats just how it goes sometimes. everyone hits tough times, just remember that this isnt how it will always be. the least likely girl will come along when you least expect it.
     
  23. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    Believe it or not, I'm a very social person. I'm really good at making friends. I've been given the "just friends" speech several times.
     
  24. GlassJoe

    GlassJoe New Member

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    That's not how it goes, that's how its always been.
     
  25. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    not really. i met my wife online :dunno:
     

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