SRS Another issue with family... advice on responding

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Bella, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. Bella

    Bella New Member

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    Several months ago I posted a thread about my Aunt and her Drama during a business transaction and how poorly it was handled on her part..

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=4257064

    Long story short, she got rich, things the rest of the family is beneath her and she treats us all like crap. I stood up for myself she didn't like that she things got overheated in front of family.

    So fast forward till lat night

    This Sunday is my sons first birthday, I invited all the family members and I sent out an invite to her to honestly just be friendly and keep the peace. She calls me last night and left me a voice message with it being my Uncle saying they were RSVPing to my sons bday.
    Well he never hung up the phone. ( I have one of those phones where I can see the voicemail and how long it is). So once the main message was complete I saw there was 3 min left and went to skip through to see if there was any other information that they needed (directions, where to park).
    Right after the main message was done I can hear that it goes to the family and my aunt says "What should we get them sweetie?" cousin says a giftcard (sarcastic) Then my aunt says " Oh thats a good idea, but I'm afraid to get that because they'll just use on themselves!" after that my cousin makes a comment that a giftcard is good because we wouldn't do the same for them. Here they laugh and say "yeah right?!"
    I am pissed! I take offense that she thinks that I would use my sons gift for myself and in the context and way she said it, she meant it as that. I send her this email

    :I don't know if you realized this or not, but I heard a part of your conversation after your voice mail to me accepting the invite to Gavin's 1st Birthday.In light of the information I heard, I just wanted to let you know he doesn't need your $30 dollar gift card (I would NOT dream of spending it on myself either). I was really saddened and disappointed in your opinion of me and my family, because I'm a good mom and I take care of my child. In light of this information I feel that if you came it would cause tension at the party and it would be best if you did not come.
    Michelle

    she responds
    I am sorry your over-heard what you did. Unfortunately, you didn't hear or understand the context of it all. It is easy to spend a "gift card" for that age on household stuff (diapers. formula)... Not that you would intentionally not get an actual gift. That is not what we meant. The amount is something we always discuss. It's hard to know what is appropriate. No one said anything about you not being a good Mom or not taking care of Gavin. We will respect your wishes and not attend. We don't want to cause problems or tension.

    BS, Not only do I have a clear vm that I sent to my email about it, but a friend of mine has studio equipment and cleaned it up (take out background sound) so it's clear. I asked him to do this before I sent anything to make sure I was indeed hearing what I was hearing.

    So my question is how do I respond? I was thinking sending a copy and saying " NO, I heard your context correctly and how you meant it" I was offended with you implying that I'd spend my sons giftcard on myself and thats where I get the part that I'm not a good mom. Heres a copy dont try and apologize and back peddle some more.

    She didn't say in the message that I was a bad mom, but I felt that it was implied when she said I'd use his gift on myself, so thats where I got that at. SO I dunno what to do. I told my parents and an Auntie about it and they are just as equally upset if not more than I am about this.

    Cliffs read up: Aunt alienates the fam, no one likes her, previous problems, overheard a convo about my family on my vm ( she forgot to hang up) and is now trying to back peddle in my opinion.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2009
  2. Bella

    Bella New Member

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    I ended up responding with this:

    Don't tell me I took it out of context I heard exactly how you meant it.It wasn't even about a gift or money spent, it was about sharing a important milestone of my son with the rest of my family.I know you didn't say anything about me being a bad mom, but it was insinuated in the tone and context of your comment.It is what it is leave it at that.

    P.s. I may not be in the financial position as you, but I take care of my child and wouldn't use his gift on myself or household items.

    I didn't send a copy of the vm either, I was thinking about it but whatever. If she fires back about something to prove it than I will at that time
     
  3. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    It's probably healthier for you & your family if you simply disconnect from this woman. Regardless of her noxious commentary. The further you stay from her, the more she'll poison the air around herself until nobody can stand her at all.
     

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