Another ex-girlfriend situation..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kreigore, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Quick back story: Broke up with my girlfriend alittle over a month ago. We were off and on. We broke up for about a month late last year and got back together 1-2 weeks before Christmas. We remained together for about 3 months until she needed more time (yet again) to find out what she wanted. I told her that I was unwilling to be pulled through the mud again, so we ended our relationship.

    The Present: I went out on a date with a nice girl from work on Friday, she's a bit older than me, but it was still a good time. Overall, it went well. We went mini-golfing and got something to eat. :o I also got her number. We typically only communicated via email and speaking face to face.

    The issue: I'm still hung up on my ex-girlfriend. While the girl I took out and I were mini-golfing, my thoughts shifted to my ex, if even only for a few moments. I genuinely missed her.

    Later that night, my ex-girlfriend left me a voice message saying that she had to put her dog down and wanted to call me to tell me because she knew I liked her dog. :hs: I didn't call her back, but instead I bought a pet/beloved animal sympathy card and sent it to her family.

    Another interesting tidbit, I found myself thinking about my ex-girlfriend only physically. I do occasionally miss our fun times together, but it was overshadowed by a lot of the bad. I think about her and imagining someone else being with her on the level we were upsets me in some way. I think about touching her, being with her, etc. Is this relatively normal?

    In the past month, the most I've spoken with her was 30 seconds when she called me after we saw each other at a bar about 2-3 weeks ago. She wanted to see if I got home OK. :hs:

    Not really sure what I should do from this point.

    Bah, it just sucks. Looking for support and love from my OT famry. :wtc:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all this is all completely normal behavior when you've just broke up with someone, even if it was an on/off thing. Why? Probably because you are finally realizing that it is truly over. You guys just didn't work out together and maybe it could work out somewhere down the line in your future, but until then you can't think that way. But from the little that you said about her she doesn't know what she wants right now, other than the fact that it's not you; so you need to accept that and move on.

    Moving on might take a little bit, but you also need to try and cut her off. If she said she needs time to figure out what she wants then give it to her! Don't be her safety net guy she can come to when she needs to talk man. Plus, the only way you will get over her is if she's out of sight (out of mind).

    Also, I'm always torn on what to suggest when dating someone new. Sometimes depending on how the person feels I will say go on and go casually date. It's normal to think of an ex when just putting yourself out there again into the dating world. The bigger problem you face is just how to show/tell whoever you end up dating that you don't want anything serious. And this new girl works with you...which is a whole different issue! You need to be careful and possibly figure out what you want first before going on any kind of date with her again.
     
  3. It's perfectly normal, anytime I talk to a girl, I still think of how she stacks up to my ex, now it bothers me a little, but I ignore it. It's naturally a part of getting over someone. You'll be fine.
     
  4. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Thanks for the reponses.

    I realize it'll take some time. :bigthumb:

    Any others with stories/thoughts?
     
  5. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    i know exactly how you feel. When I broke up with my first gf, I couldnt stand the fact of imagining that she would be with another guy. Sometimes I would assume she was fucking some other guy and that would just piss me off.

    When it was about 4 months since the break up, I would go out on dates with a couple girls, but for some reasone I just could not date them. Partly because I did not want to be on the rebound and the thought of her was affecting my interaction with these women.

    I dont know how long exactly you have been dating her, but I was in a relationship with my first gf for year and a half. But to get back into the dating world, it took me almost a year to start dating with a clear conscience.

    For healing for the pain I was going through was time and COMPLETE isolation fromt he ex gf. Because one phone call or meeting stirs up those emotional highs and lows again. Each day the pain subsides and eventually one day, you wake up and the pain is just gone. Its weird, but sometimes I just want to feel that pain again, but I can never get it again. Even after I broke up with my 2nd gf, I did not have that much pain as the first gf.

    Well, I hope this helps.
     
  6. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    To answer your question, we were together for 3+ years.

    And thanks for the post, it definitely helps.
     
  7. 4/20

    4/20 New Member

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    I know what would help...maybe I can give a better answer if I saw what she looked like naked.......j/k homey no hard feelings. One thing I can tel you is that Jack Daniels doesn't make those images go away. All you really need is too tell yourself your better off without her..or move that always works. Good luck homey and don't sweat the petty things pet the sweaty things
     
  8. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    :mamoru:
     
  9. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Update:

    Her family received the card I sent and she sent me an email thanking me, etc. However, she proceeded to attempt to call me three different times later on in evening yesterday (after she sent the email).

    I didn't pick up either of the times she called. Nor did I respond to her email.

    I think she wants to "be friends" -- but I can't and I'm unwilling to be friends with her at this point. It would probably set me back another month of getting over her.
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you are doing great man. Keep it up and you will be better then new in no time
     
  11. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    It seems like you are doing well in terms of getting over her. And definitely don't be "friends" with her especially if you're not completely over her. Like you said it would probably set you back. If I could offer any advice it would be not to let what she says get you down. What I mean from that is she may or may not make you feel bad for not wanting to be friends. She may even pull the "if you cared about me you would be friends" or "I guess [enter length of you two were together] didn't mean anything to you". I'm sorta going through a similar situation with my ex so I know how you are feeling. Take care and keep us posted :hs:
     
  12. fhfn2000

    fhfn2000 New Member

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    I tried to do the 'friends' thing once, it was quite naive of me now that i look back on it. Certainly an experience I've learnt from.

    After a while, I had just told her it was a mistake, told her goodbye, and we went out seperate ways. :hsd:
     
  13. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Yep. Part of me would like to talk to her, but I can't allow myself to do that. I'd be setting myself up for a world of hurt.

    It's taking a lot of willpower. :hsd:
     
  14. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Update (again):

    She tried calling me again last night on two separate occasions. :hsugh:

    Secondly, the girl I took out last Friday night wants to go out again this Friday and asked if I was free. :hs:
     

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