I basically have no value for my life anymore. I'm not looking to commit suicide but I don't care if I die. Actually, death is a good excuse to escape. I'm a new college grad with a great degree and have a good paying job with a future. I realize I have a lot of nice toys. None of this means anything to me because I have few friends that I really want to keep, I have no girlfriend, and I hardly keep in touch with my family. All of this is mainly because I suck at social stuff and can't hold a normal conversation. I have always been more of loner and honestly can't see myself getting a girlfriend or good friends after college. I see myself doing more dangerous things over the past year. I don't care about living, but I REALLY wish I had a reason to. I don't want to live for money, cars, etc, because it feels very empty without people to share it with. I am honestly not a part of anyone's life besides my parents (who would greive if I died but would eventually move on.) So basically how do I make my life worth something for myself? I am in a rut and can't see myself getting out. I feel like it's a race; either I find something to live for, or one of these days death is going to get me first.