SRS Anonymous thread: So I cheated on my wife

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Okay so I cheated on my wife. Well I never had sex with the girl. We kissed....and touched. The thing is that it only lasted about 3 weeks, and it was at work. So we sort of flirted for about 3 months before that, so it was kind of a build up than just a fling...if you like. Was just a summer job for me.

    And the reason for ending it was that we almost got caught...and we where getting way to close to each other.

    So in a way I got away with it. The wife is none the wiser. She just noticed I sent 420 text messages last month....and now I'm not texting at all.

    BUT, always a but.

    It's eating away inside me. I love my wife. But the thing is that I have and had real feelings for this girl. I don't want to talk to my wife about it. She will leave me, that's a certain.

    I still want to be friends with this girl though. We got along really well. But she seems to be ignoring my texts.

    I sent her a text last week saying how hard a time I'm having. Cause I mean I have nobody else to talk to. She replied saying 'that I can come to her if I ever need to talk' So I replied the next day saying that 'I'm snowed under with uni work and I'm missing her.'

    And no reply. We had agreed before that we will still be friends, so it kind of hurt that she never replied.

    So I asked one of her friends on MSN last night if she is replying her texts. And she said no as well. This friend walked in on us at work by the way. So I'm thinking that she might have run out of credit on her phone.

    This Girl is 16 by the way. I'm 20 (I know young to be married). 16 is perfectly legal as well. But she is stunning as well. Blonde hair, blue eyes, size 6, school captain, straight As student, top athlete. I think I was kind of in awe that a girl like 'that' would be into a guy like me. I mean I'm a geek to be honest. 6ft2, over 210lb weight, study 'Molecular and Cellular Biology.'

    Not sure what I will gain from this, but it always helps to write stuff down when I have a lot on my mind.

    Any advice is welcome. Just to point out, I NEVER thought I'd cheat on my wife. It's just something that happened.
     
  2. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Damn

    Well. So you married young, often a sign of taking things too fast. You dont sound ready to marry at all.

    This 16 year old girl.. Just see what type you go for. It is doubtfull that would last for long. You wore ready to throw away your marriage because of some 16 year old girl who just wants attention or is experimenting.

    I like being honest, and some things can be better not saying. But if your wife ever found out it will be 10 times worse then if she heard it from you.

    You should stop all contact with the girl and think about your marriage. Be nice about it though, you dont want her calling your wife telling everything.


    Why? First.. maybe you are serious about it and maybe she is. But she is 16 years old. Girls dont know what they want at that age, hell I probably didn't. One day she loves you the next she wakes up wondering why the hell she did that.

    And second, women are vengefull and anything bad you do to them they return times 10
     
  3. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    well... you are a sleaze :dunno:

    you SAY you love your wife but you obviously don't respect her or you'd never do something like this. you say it's eating away at you inside, GOOD. you should feel horrible because you did something HORRIBLE.

    and yes you married young which is a bad idea, but that's no excuse. DO NOT TALK TO THE GIRL. don't even try, don't answer her texts, and don't talk to her friends. if you feel like you need to talk to someone, see a therapist, or tell your wife (before someone else has the chance to). if she leaves you, well, you deserve it.
     
  4. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    divorce now, before kids come into the picture.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Stop lying to yourself and to us.

    This isn't something that "just happened". You've been planning and fantasizing about it for weeks or months. You even said so in your anonymous post.

    So the first steps to changing are to be honest. This was a 100% pre-meditated act.

    Second, you better hope it's legal.

    Third, what you want is someone to relieve you from your guilt. Well guess what, you're an adult and you have to live with the consequences of your actions....just like all adults. Noone can relieve you of your guilt.

    The real questions you should be asking are why you did this? Is your marriage so shitty that you need to sleep with other women?? Are you so insecure about your manhood that you have to go around and "prove it" to very young girls?? Were you ignored in school when you were 16 and now you want revenge??

    Go find a therapist and work through your issues. You are very likely to repeat this cheating behavior unless you seek help and work through your issues.

    Also, I have no sympathy for guys or girls who cheat but I do understand why/how it happens. Go get help now before you end up divorced and alone.
     
  6. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    You need to break it off with your wife now. You're 20 years young, this isn't going to work. You've already cheated on your wife and I presume you haven't even been married that long..
     
  7. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    u shoudn't be married
     
  8. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    You better send a lot of texts even if you don't need to...
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :rofl:
     
  10. Schadenfreude1

    Schadenfreude1 New Member

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    20 years old, married and cheating does not bode well for the future of your marriage. It wil end in tears. I hope you don't have kids.
     
  11. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    You shouldn't even be married.

    Tell your wife, if she decides to be with you, be grateful..
    if not, you deserve it.
     
  12. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    Anyone can make a mistake, but it depends on how much you regret what happened.

    If you had a 100% chance of not being caught, would you keep cheating, honestly?
     
  13. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    Get a divorce. NOW.

    If you wanted to save your marriage you would have done so before you cheated.
    I'll echo what Coottie said: This did not "just happen" it went on for nearly four months.

    Think about what will happen when your wife finds out. Which she will.

    End the marriage.
     
  14. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    This thread is just one of many reasons I'll hold firm no one should get married under 25, in fact it should be a law.

    Divorce now you're only 20 years old and probably have nothing to your name, do it now instead of waiting 10 years and losing half your shit in a divorce
     
  15. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    :lmfao:


    1) You're 20, an adult. You should know better then to hang around with jail bait.

    2) I can understand why and how cheating starts. There's still no excuse good excuse for why you did it.

    3) Are you not attractive to your wife anymore? Why did you marry her then?

    4) Ask yourself some questions. Like, why did you marry at your age. Do you really love your wife. Are you insecure about yourself. Were you not socially accepted in high school and is this the reason why you went for someone 16, straight A's, captain of whatever sport she's playing, etc..? Maybe the jailbait was only attracted to you because she could go around saying that she's been fooling with a 20 year old. Who the hell knows. 16 year old girls are vengeful, and spiteful, and hell, they're just fucking a group of angsty teens... well, most, not all.

    Honestly, why did you marry so young? And do you regret it? Do you ever think back and wish that you never gotten married? Did you get married because you got her pregnant?

    you're basically telling us a lot but not telling us much.

    Tell her and hopefully she doesn't chop your balls off, :) Goodluck! :x:
     
  16. wetwillie

    wetwillie New Member

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    haha attention boys and girls, this is how you screw your life up.

    To the OP, think of the pain and suffering that your cheating will inflict on your wife. She will most likely be devestated and have severe trust issues with other men for the rest of her life. She will likely have to have counseling to get over this. She will likely become very depressed. At the very least, her heart will be broken.

    Why?? Because of your selfish acts. You didn't give a shit about your wife or her feelings. You didn't care that she would be hurt by this. You didn't care that she'll have a very difficult time in the future because of this. No, you didn't give a shit about your wife at all. You just wanted what you wanted and you didn't care who got hurt.

    Now because you're feeling guilty you want to come here and have us tell you it's going to be OK or that somehow you'll be able to get past this?? WRONG!! Stop fucking around with other women dipshit. You are married, it's much different than dating.

    You deserve all the guilt and shit that is coming your way. It's of your own making.

    And don't tell us this "just happened". That's a load of fucking bullshit and you know it.

    Fuck off you piece of shit. You get no sympthy from me.
     
  17. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    cheating on your wife with JB? great job. :hsugh:
     
  18. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Dont all of you pretend to be so superior and perfect. Nobodies a cheater untill they cheat. It happens, it can happen to you aswell as anybody else.

    I've done it, didn't think I ever would either untill I just did. But you learn from shit like that, or your atleast supposed to. Says something about your self you need to get rid of or improve
     
  19. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I agree that shit happens.

    I also agree that everyone has something to work on. Striving for self-improvement is always a good thing.
     
  20. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I'm with the majority here, you fucked up bad.

    Although temptation is temptation, you just fucked up royally. A 16 year and you're saying you think you're feeling her? Divorce your wife, why put her through this shit.

    You're dispicable, quite frankly. A fucking 16 year old?! Dude, c'mon.
     
  21. wetwillie

    wetwillie New Member

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    It doesn't "just happen". Stop lying....nothing like this just happens. It's a process. You first have to start with the idea that you can cheat. Then you start selecting targets then you do it. You don't just blackout and cometo in someone elses bed. You make a conscious decision to ignore your wedding vows.

    People who cheat place themselves in positions to cheat. It's not like a crime was committed against you and you are an innocent bystander. You made the decision to go outside of your marriage for sex. Now whether you made that decision the 30seconds before you returned the affection or 3 months earlier, YOU MADE A DECISION.

    Tornadoes, hurricanes, car wrecks and many other things in life "just happen". Cheating isn't one of those things so stop trying to lessen the impact on the OP and yourself in the process. You made a decision. Live with it. It did NOT just happen.
     
  22. porsch1909

    porsch1909 OT Supporter

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    Just to point out that the OP said he never had sex with the girl. Not that kissing isn't cheating and still a breach of trust though.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Jesus Christ. This is why ignorant 20 years olds shouldn't get married. A 16 year old? :rolleyes: I don't even feel I have to go further because you are a douchebag.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2007
  24. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    What the hell do you know?
    That it happened doesnt excuse that you did it. But given the right situation and time ANYONE will cheat. You have a limit dont convince yourself of anything else. 1000 different things strain your limit. No it's not right. I'd do the most diabolic thing if pushed too far but it wouldn't make it ok, but I would still do it and anyone of you would too.

    You say cheating is a concious act. Maybe.. In my case I think it doesnt hit you like that untill after its done. Saying it just happened can be a different way of saying you didnt understand what the hell was going on as you wore in a another state of mind. It feels right in the moment. Afterwords it hits you.

    Ask him, what was he thinking? I'll tell you, he wasn't thinking. I'd say you arent usually thinking clearly when you are about to do something stupid.

    And don't call me a fucking liar.
     
  25. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    :bowdown::asshole:
     

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