For the last 2yrs I have had one bad thing after anoter happen in my life. Lately it seems to get worse by the week. I live with my grandparents(mom died when I was 2 so theyve raised me since then) and commuted to and from school 45 miles round tip every day in an effort to save money on dorms. Last semester I was dismissed from school(for one semester) bc I failed my CJ class(I was under contract to pass all of my classes for my first yr). Which was due in large part to a depression that my lovely cunt of an ex helped me get into by breaking up with me on my birthday. It's almost time to go back and im scared as fuck. I dont know what to do about any of it anymore. I've been going to the community college this semester in an effort to not completely waste away. The money that I got from a loan 2yrs ago is starting to run out, and thats due in large part to helping with family shit. My grandparents are poor, always have been. In their old age there is a lot of stuff that NEEDS to get taken care of but cant because they dont have the money for it. Many of these things I would take care of with the money I got from this loan. Now im down to enough money for my next semester of school and part of the spring thereafter. My car has a burned out transmission ($$$$$), and the loaner car that my grandfather allowed me to use has a mystery heating problem that is going to require stealership work($$$$$$). I feel shitty for not fixing his car bc he let me use it since he's under doctor's care and isnt to be driving( I know he cant drive it but its the general principle of it). I have no job bc everywhere I go I hear the same thing over and over"your application is great but we need morning shift" and I have class in the morning. The more I try to dig my way out of the hole the more I fall into it. I have the option of getting a certain certification and possibly using it to get a decent paying part time job, but the problem with THAT is that the ceritifcation costs roughly $500, and theres no REAL guarantee tat i'll get a job, just a better chance than I do right now. I don't even know whether or not to go on with life anymore or not. It'd be so easy to give up but I know that I cant. Im so fucking scared for my future. I also found myself loaning out $500 to a family member who recently lost there job bc they to are having a hard time surviving. There's still bits and pieces of the story that are missing but thats the lions share of it, and those bits and pieces are negatives as well.