SRS Anonymous post...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dave steel, Jul 7, 2006.

  1. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    well, to make a long story short, ive never developed or acquired the talking skills or picking up signals thing when it comes to girls im interested in (girls im not interested in, im confident, normal, and myself): my mind freezes up, i become reserved, i become cold and distant. and though ive had sex with many different women, because of my lack of social skills, im 21 and ive never had a steady girlfriend in my life. to make up for it, i did heavy amounts of drugs and constantly told myself "this is your subsitute. if you cant have that, you can have this. you dont need em".

    well, recently ive come to the realization that i am indeed WRONG. i feel i have no purpose to do anything in my life, since i dont have what it takes to pursue anyone in the first place. i dont have anyone to say "i love you", noone to care for, noone to love back, noone to call, no reason to get a cell phone, no reason to progress, no reason to live. its extemely lonely, even though i keep telling myself to deny it all. on top of that, smoking crystal meth to make up for not having a significant other, while does make me forget about it when im high, cannot be done everyday for the simple fact i dont want to become a zombie meth addict.

    hell, as i type this im going though the comedown/withdrawl from doing it on july 4th: i had to leave class early today because i just felt like i was gonna break down right there.

    i dont want to do drugs anymore, i dont even want to drink as much as i do. i want to be sucessful and happy in the future, with someone i care about. but because i have noone, i feel like there is NO reason why i shoudl stop destroying myself slowly like this: noone can stop me, i got no restraint, and why should i?. the way things are going right now, i feel like thats never gonna happen. i dont know, i feel like i just want to die, and say im sorry to my mother for giving her so much trouble.

    ill welcome any and all suggestions. but please, not too harsh (no flames please ) thanks
     
  2. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    You're going about it the wrong way.

    If you want someone to love you, you have to make yourself worthy of being loved.

    That's something you have to do on your own, you can't just sit there and wish for someone to come along and love you like you're the sad little puppy in the store waiting for a new owner to come along and rescue you.

    Nobody wants to love someone who can't take charge of their own life. If you can't get your act together, why in the world would a woman want to love and get together with you?

    Stop being a victim of the circumstances around you. Stop the drugs or the drinking, for they are as much a crutch to you as anything. Rise up and finally be a man.
     
  3. Hello Kitty

    Hello Kitty New Member

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    I agree with Toasty. Finding Love starts with loving yourself. You might want to start with therapy. Believe me, with the right therapist and some hard work you can change your life. It's worked for me.
     
  4. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Originally Posted by Toasty
    You're going about it the wrong way.

    If you want someone to love you, you have to make yourself worthy of being loved.

    That's something you have to do on your own, you can't just sit there and wish for someone to come along and love you like you're the sad little puppy in the store waiting for a new owner to come along and rescue you.

    Nobody wants to love someone who can't take charge of their own life. If you can't get your act together, why in the world would a woman want to love and get together with you?

    Stop being a victim of the circumstances around you. Stop the drugs or the drinking, for they are as much a crutch to you as anything. Rise up and finally be a man.

    my anonymous response:
    Quote:
    thats true. i cant just sit there and wait. i have to advance myself, i know. i know in my heart and mind, i got what it takes to get with someone, i have a humorous personality, im very tolerant, and ive been given compliments on my looks and all, both guys and girls. but actually trying to apply these things towards someone im attracted to is really hard (towards, guys, friends, and girls im not attracted to its extremely simple), my mind just freezes up, i guess you would say i turn into a dumb ass. i kind of know why ive lever learned how to pick up positive signals from the opposite sex that i attracted to: i hate to say it, but my whole life ive been given many free rides. my parents pay for everything, ive never really learned how to hold my own. they never taught me about these kinds of things, not my mother not my father. plus my bad childhood during grade school still haunts me.

    when i do speed, i become everything i want to: i become what i usually am, but towards EVERYONE, wether im attracted to them or not. when im high, none of those emotional scars matter, they dissapear.

    how do i go about fixing myself then? should i seek therapy? medication? what?
     
  5. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Your inability to talk to a pretty lady is a factor of being intimidated. Somehow a woman you are attracted to is giving you feelings that she's too good for you. That's all in your mind and you know it.

    You can take speed and alcohol to calm your nerves and get confidence, but in the end, I feel you can't always be operating in this altered state. So it's not a permanent solution.

    I suffer from the same feelings you do sometimes. But here's some of the realizations I made at one point that helped me conquer it. Today I have a successful business of my own & I have a beautiful fiance to show for it, so it's worked for me:

    a) Don't Rush
    At 21 you shouldn't be worrying so much about getting a girlfriend. If one comes along, great! But otherwise concentrate on living your life & developing a productive hobby. It's a weird thing, but the minute you stop looking is when you usually find what you want. It happened for me....

    b) Build Confidence
    You build your confidence by doing. If you've been given free rides...good for you. But then now it's time to branch out and be independant. Stop taking the free rides. Work to get your own career...work to stay in shape.

    That helps you in the lady department...because it gives you the foundation to know in your heart they are no better then you are. You achieved everything you have yourself. You can have all your friends come by and give you compliments about your looks...but nothing is more of a confidence builder then being able to meet the world under your own terms.

    To put it to example, my fiance is a registered ER nurse with a master's degree. She's also cute enough that everyone who's met her comes up to me tells me she's beautiful. This girl may have been someone I'd consider out of my league at one point... so I asked her "What is it that you see in me?" Her answer was simply that I make her laugh, I'm physically active like she is, and I have creative skills that she admires.

    Had I not trained myself to be the good at what I do, had I still been a MMO junkie like I used to be, had I still been the pissed-off-at-the-world punker I used to be at your age, she would have completely passed me by.

    If I could only come over there and slap you into this realization I would. :) I don't want others to be a victim to circumstances like I was for so many years.
     

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