SRS (Anonymous post) intentions/bootycall/role of physical intimacy in casual dating

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by johan, Jul 30, 2007.

  1. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Here's an anonymous post that was forwarded to me. The OP is 23 yrs old.
    The post:



    Picked me up, went for lunch, then went to a movie.. we watched transformers .. again. I had to go to a family bbq, so we split up.. but agreed to meet up again afterwards..


    So when he picked me up, he came to the door, gave me a hug, opened the door.. u know the usual.. but more hand holding, more stuff.. was giving me little kisses here and there.


    Anyway, after we met up again, we went downtown to walk around blahblalbalh, and its getting a little more.. intimate. I ask him, in kinda a joking cute way.. so what are your intentions? Hahah figured I should just lay it out there right. Instead of me just wondering.



    And he looks at me and says “as you know, I’ve only recently been single.. and I’m not looking for a long term, serious, want to get married relationship.. so with that, what I want from you is just time, company.. and fun….is that alright?” and i sorta just gave him this kinda.. now that I think about it.. retarded half-smile.. haha and he goes on to say “what do you want from me?” and I just “mmm… respect. That’s all” and he said “alright, I already give you that so im good right?” and at this point I just took that comment and I totally made a joke outta him not giving me respect when he grabs my bum..etc etc. We continue on doing what we were doing, holding hands, touchy stuff, but I held back from kissing him . hung out for another hour or so and went home. Walks me to my door. Gives me a hug. Says “can’t wait till Wednesday”

    I understand that he’s says that he’s not looking for something serious, LT, etc etc.. I get it.. but IS he looking for a bootycall? Did he just glorify what he actually wanted? I mean if he said that he watned something serious that woulda freaked the crap outta me.. or is it like.. I just want to hang out .. which is fine too, but does he expect booty outta this? And if he does.. where and what does that leave me to do? Or if he just wants to date.. then he coulda just said so, but does dating entitle booty?! I don’t mind giving him any of those three things.. but I just refuse to be a bootycall. You know what I mean? AND OK, so if I continue what we’re doing.. how much do I hold back.. everything? Continue as it is? I mean, the more I see him it seems like the chemistry just increases..

    And maybe i shouldn’t be saying this cause I didn’t expect him to tell me he was in love with me or something but ..



    Is that all I am? And how people view me? A bootycall?
     
  2. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    55,923
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Are you fucking kidding me?

    Of course he just wants sex. Why else would he want you around for "fun" and to "hang out"? :ugh:
     
  3. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2005
    Messages:
    15,148
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Between laziness and impatience
    If he only comes around for sex, then it is a booty call. If he asks you to go and do stuff and that leads to sex later on in the day, I dont think its a booty call.

    So does this "anon" person put booty call in the same boat as FWB? I dont associate the two so, I may feel differently.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I don't think the OP is looking for a FWB.

    She's a hard party chick on the outside, but...highly emo... on the inside, in my opinion.
     
  5. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2005
    Messages:
    15,148
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Between laziness and impatience

    Sounds like one of my exes. I wouldnt give it up at all if that were the case. See where it was at in a couple of months.
     
  6. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,923
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego
    people generally don't take fuck buddies to movies and dates. they call them up, get it done, and get out. he's likely playing the field, having a good time and exploring his options. i really don't think you can fault him if, in doing this, he wants to have sex with attractive women.
     
  7. Roasted

    Roasted New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
    Messages:
    2,801
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    Yeah, I don't think she's just a booty call if he hangs out with her. Could he expect sex on top of hanging out? I would lean towards yes, though I could be wrong. He just means that he's not ready for all out commitment, with the whole anniversaries, formal dates, etc. the whole deal. SHould you "hold out" on him? If you're uncomfortable with sex outside of a committed relationship and what you really want in your life right now IS a relationship than I would say yes, no sex. If you, like him just wanna have fun than go ahead and sleep with him. I certainly wouldn't label you "whory" for doing so if you care about that sort of thing.
     
  8. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    First of all, fuck how people view you. Secondly, it sounds like he's interested in a pretty light hearted relationship that won't go incredibly far but may include both sex and romantic stuff . Go for it if that's what you're looking for as well.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's just casual, non-committal, non-exclusive dating. He enjoys spending time with you, likes the idea of having sex with you, but isn't at the point where he wants to be with you exclusively.

    He's probably doing the same things with other women occasionally. THIS IS NORMAL. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO UNTIL THEY GET TO THE POINT WHERE THEY DO WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE EXCLUSIVELY.

    I don't see what is hard to understand about it.
     
  10. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    Matthom01 is partially correct. I just don't agree that you should assume that he is doing this with other women.
     

Share This Page