I was asked to put up this "anonymous" post at the Asylum... confused..... (more girl problems) i guess im just another guy with typical girl problems. i think i might possibly have psychological problems also. anyways, i really like this one girl that ive been friends with for a while now. she knows i like her and i think that she has at least some feelings for me. its a semi complicated situation. she knows that i like her because ive told her before and for a while it was a "we should just be friends" sorta thing because when i first told her she had just gotten out of a relationship and plus she said she was really busy with school and all that stuff. i first let her know that i liked her back in october. at first she seemed like she liked me too and i thought it was great cause its a great feeling to have feelings returned. she said she liked me. it was great for maybe a week until i sorta kissed her but i felt like she was kinda holding back or something and so i stopped. it was a little awkward for a while cause i thought maybe she didnt want anything to happen so i backed off and we were just sorta friends again. time passed, i started feeling depressed just because i hate when things go sour. a month later, we ended up going to a concert with some other friends. on the way back, she told me she had been hanging out with her ex a lot lately. she said it basically out of nowhere and so i kinda assumed it meant that she maybe went back to him but didnt want to tell me straight up or was thinking about it. i just said "oh" and felt horrible but didnt say anything cause i dont think i had any right to. fast forward maybe a month. we were doing some stuff at my house with another friend but later he left and we watched some dvds together, what i thought was just as friends, and we ended up laying in my bed and she started cuddling with me and stuff. i still hadn't gotten over it just because it never really ended and i thought things could still possibly work so i held on to that hope. so of course i cuddled with her and we ended up making out and stuff. a day (or two) later, she came over again to just watch a movie and she ended up spending the night at my house. we slept in each others arms and it was awsome. a few days later we talked about things and she said she didn't want to start something she couldnt finish and once school started in 3 weeks, she wouldnt have time to do things and hang out and stuff. i was really depressed because i really liked her more than she even know and she didnt even feel the same about me. she didnt even give me a real chance and seemed like she didnt want to. after a lot of thought, i thought the best thing i could do was just to get away because it wasnt going anywhere and it wasnt worth the stress and i needed to get over her. i decided to avoid her just because it would be easier to get over it. for the next 3 weeks, i didnt talk to her much and never saw her at all. then one day i was talking to her and told her about a dvd i had just gotten and she wanted to watch it. i thought, "its fine, we're just friends" so i told her to come over to watch it. first thing she did when she came over was give me a hug. i didn't really know what to think. mostly confused. we ended up watching the dvd and then later ended up laying next to each other in my bed again. we were just joking about things and sorta cuddling again and then she said "i wish i had more time for nights like these." i dont know if i wanted to hear that or not because i didn't know what to think. it was really hard because i was trying to get over her and she pulled me right back in. so the next few days it was back to hangin out a lot and being close and that sort of stuff. for the next week or two it was great. we didnt hang out during the week because we both had school and stuff but we talked on the phone the way people who are "talking" talk. not really about anything specific but just rambling. then at the end of her school week (thursday) she asked if i wanted to hang out and she came over and we hung out. we cuddled and listened to music until around maybe 3am when i asked her if she wanted to just stay over and she ended up spending the night again. same thing as the last time she stayed over. again. it was pretty cool for a week or two. then it started to fade i think just because she was very busy with school and we never had a chance to do anything. either that or she just didnt want to. i realized that this cycle didn't seem like it would end any time soon and just decided to try and get over it. i barely ever see her now but when i do, i end up feeling very depressed just seeing her because i really haven't even come close to moving on and i dont think it'll go away any time soon. the other day, maybe a week or two ago, we were just sitting on her bed talking and inside i felt like i was being torn apart because i was sitting next to the very thing i wanted yet despite the fact that it was 2 feet away from me, i couldn't have it. i havent talked to her about it just because the last two times i did, it went sour and we stopped talking and became distant friends and i didnt want that to happen again. earlier this week i got drunk and ended up calling her while drunk but i didnt say much. i ended up waking her up because of it so i just said hi, told her i was really drunk and that i was really sorry i woke her up. she said it was ok. then i said "i miss you" and she said "i miss you too." then i told her i was sorry again and to go back to sleep. i dont know if she said it because she actually does miss me or if she just said it because she knew it was what i wanted to hear. a few days later we were hangin out with a bunch of other friends and we were talking about a movie. she said it was her favorite movie and the proceeded to ask if i had seen it. i think this hurt the most out of everything that has happened because i saw the movie with her the week it came out. while in the movie she even held my hand and stuff. i think it made me realize that she will never like me as much as i like her. i will never mean as much to her as she means to me. i dont think she will ever understand how i feel. and i need to let go because i feel its what i have to do. i know i should probably talk to her about it and everything but i dont know if i want to because it hurts so much as it is right now and i just want it to stop. i also think that if i talk to her, ill only hear what i already know and so it would be putting myself through exactly what i went through again. i feel like i should move on but i really dont want to because i really like her a lot and its hard to just throw it all away. it hurts so badly and i just dont know what to do. i know i left out some parts in typing up my whole situation because so much has happened and i dont remember it all and it might not be exactly in order. cliffs: lots of things happened with a girl, really depressed, not sure what to do.