SRS Anon. User Post: Am i ready yet ?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Throwdown, Apr 12, 2005.

  1. Throwdown

    Throwdown whore destroyer

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    Anonymous User Post: Am i ready yet ?

    history, goes I got dumped by my ex of many years about three months ago or so.

    Been hanging out with a great woman, once a week for the past 2 months. We'll tonight we talked and I let her know I was starting to devolop feeling for her beyond a friendship. So heres the thing.

    This isn't one of the women you want passing through, not like flings and such. we get along great, laugh all the time together....I just don't know if i'm ready to get in a relationship.

    Which happens to be the reason she was holding back when we first met, :eek3: :eek3: , Which is something we talked about tonight .....along with the other problem that her best friend (female), happens to be a family memeber. Who we also hang out with alot. :wtc:

    so where gonna go out again and take it from there, atleast we know where we both stand....

    But like i said, how do i know if i'm ready.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2005
  2. Throwdown

    Throwdown whore destroyer

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    i think that communication is very important in a situation like this. first thing i would do? make sure that myself, and the other party are very aware of the good things and bad things that can come out of a relationship like this. There are two basic human emotions. Fear and Love. When you are "not ready for a serious relationship" then you are beginning to feel both fear and love.

    It's difficult to explain how i feel about this. but i wish you the best of luck. PM me if you have a response you would like to share with everyone.

    :hug:
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think you're not ready (right now). If you have any doubt, there is no doubt (to borrow from DeNiro).

    However, I think you may soon be ready. I don't know how long you were with your ex, but three months isn't a very long time to get over a really deep, serious relationship. It's reasonable to have leftover worries, concerns and lingering unease over jumping in again.

    For now, I think you've done well to speak your heart, that the two of you can talk about these issues. You're well on your way actually.

    Just continue to go out with her as you have, not pushing the envelope or forcing the pace (either faster or slower) and go where it feels right to go.
    Your emotional self knows the right pace, if only your rational mind would get out of the driver's seat and relinquish control.

    You can probably tell this experience with her has been tremendously healing for you.
    Soon you won't have to ask if it's the right time. You will know.
     
  4. Throwdown

    Throwdown whore destroyer

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    Anonymous User Post:

    THe hardest part is i got hurt pretty bad, by the last relationship( of almost half a decade) and just don't how we'll i'm going to be able to trust again , I really wish i hadn't met her for onther 6 months, this way i would've had some time to get over it

    But your right it has helped alot, she's great

    We talked again today, gonna go play some cards and hang out and just take it one day at a time, cause your right i'm prolly not ready

    Thanks for the reply, any other input would be greatly appreciated.
     
  5. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Like was said, if you are questioning weather or not you are ready yet, then you are not. You will know when you are ready, you will know when you are ready to make the step into a relationship again. It is one of those things that just tell you, you are ready to be with that person. You say this is one that does not need to get away, but are you willing to jump in head first and maybe lose this person, due to your past experiences? I would wait it out untill you feel comfortable. Only you can decide if you are ready... It is good that you have layed it all out, and if this wonderful girl you speak of cares, she will wait for you, and understand that you are not ready yet. Don't let the past be your present baggage. Relationships are not like flights with carry ons, let everything go, yes the person you use to be with will still be with you, but the current one will be in your heart more. Good Luck. :)
     
  6. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    it sounds like, part of your shared connection is that you both also got hurt very bad, and were initially holding back.

    it's one of the commonalities as you stated that you both discuss frequently. if you proceed, make sure that there are plenty of other commonalities and interests, or at least a willingness on both sides to explore other interests.

    if not, then you are likely right, you both are heading towards an unhealthy co-dependant type of friendship/relationship - a surefire way for one, or both of you to get seriously hurt (again)
     
  7. Throwdown

    Throwdown whore destroyer

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    Anonymous User Post:

    No, she was not hurt badly recently, all though, her last serious relationship as been about 4 years ago, she's been busy with work, ect.. since then.

    Picked up some dinner and wine and ate at her place last night, then we went out with the friends, had a great night, we are def growing closer.... but were just gonna take it slow, ,

    Another prob might be that she is 5 years older then me
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    How old are you then?
     

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