SRS anon thread: So I think my GF ex damaged her emotionally

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Ok so my gf is 20 years old and dated a 35 year old (fail and aids) first real relationship. He was a major asshole to her but she stayed with him because it was her first real relationship ... like one of thing she told me was ... She went over during the winter parked behind his house and he wasnt home even thou he told her he would be ... or the times where he left 10 minutes early to take the bus even thou she was going to pick him up ... She didnt even met his parents. Now I come into the picture ... I have done cute things for her ... brought her cheese cake / flowers etc etc . Just trying to be a good bf ... I don't know .. I have feelings for her and she does say she loves me ... but typical cliche Actions speak louder then words ... she just doesnt show it ... She said she changed but i doubt it ... it took me a year to heal when my ex cheated on me ...

    I want to feel loved but the cutest thing she has done is brought me coffee at work once ... im not trying to have a pissing match with her. She even said She was obsessed over him ... I don't know i wish she felt the same way she did with him but i doubt it ... i think im going to break up with her soon. Don't really care that she opens her legs every night for me don't care ... I can get sex anytime from her or my ex . I mean ive treated her like gold and her ex treated her like shit (maybe girls like assholes)? and this is how i get repaid

    or maybe she is just still damaged and i should help her ... maybe she will change


    Cliffs on Ex: 35 , no car , shitty house , no license
    walmart stocker 10 dollars an hour

    :hsd:
     
  2. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    ehh i don't see how that damaged your gf, its not like he raped her or abused her. She could possibly be just still hung up on him. I hate giving the same advice that everyone else does on this forum to just dump her. However, at the very least I think you should withdrawl some of the attention you give to her. She very likely could be using you as an emotional sponge. If you feel like she would leave you in a heart beat if this other guy wanted her back in his life, why give her the time of day? Ask yourself that question...
     
  3. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    she is not damaged. i dont see what they guy did that was THAT bad.

    i think she is still hung on him. you however are there for her to use as an emotional crutch.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're never going to mean much to her, she's using you. Have some respect for yourself and find a new girl who does appreciate you.
     
  5. AsperGirl

    AsperGirl New Member

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    He didn't do much to her except jerk her around. She sounds hung up on him. Maybe codependent?
     
  6. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    It sounds like her heart just isn't in your relationship. Only she can decide to change. No amount of love that you give her will make her change. Does she still see or talk to this person? How long ago did they break up and when did you start dating? I've broke up with someone for the same reason. They said they loved me but didn't show it yet they idolized someone else and it hurt feeling that way. Only you can decide if this is the relationship you want for yourself.
     
  7. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    She says she loves me ... she has some that's going to prove to me she loves me ... she works with him at walmart ... bitch , I don't need a humongous thing i just want you to rub my back when im laying in bed or i want you to take my hand ... you say you love me. We had a talk and It was basically "you treat me badly" she said she change im going to give her another 2 month ... she has no tolerance for me like i didnt want to be with her last night because she had to do something important she basically just totally ignored me for 2 hours , yet if i walked out the door she would have been pissed off and probably broken yet her ex abadoned her one time in a parking lot because he decided he wanted to do something else , she cried for hours in the winter , yet she remained with him for another 5 months ...

    I don't get it

    like last night i took her out to a classy place to eat , showed up with dress shirt and tie ... brought her chocolate roses ... I also had love me tender ready to play right when we left for the restaurant (Elvis is her favorite)

    Im not looking for her to match it but just do a sweet thing for me ...

    I don't really care for sex ... that's all she really does for me , I don't like it ... she treats me like a fuckbuddy


    Like her ex made her Laugh at disabled people :wtf:

    He's pretty lulzy if i do say so myself , 34 walmart , no car , no license


    ARGGHHH
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2009
  8. DubyaS6

    DubyaS6 New Member

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    Its really very simple.

    1. You cant change her. If she wants to change, she will.
    2. If she isnt what you want, then move on. Stop complaining about how she is.

    Done.
     
  9. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    now i realize i don't get into relationship with people who just got out of a bad relationship ... wait a bit
     
  10. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    She say she's actually starting to smile and her parents have noticed that she is happier ever since dating me? she also said it's because of me ... well then show your appreciation
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh::uh::uh::uh::uh::uh::uh::uh::uh:
     
  12. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    ?
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It just baffles me that you are sweating over a girl who prefers her loser ass ex boyfriend/co-worker over you. Yes, she works at Wal-Mart too, so if that makes him a loser that makes her a loser as well.
     
  14. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    She's actually pretty successful , department manager at a young age ...

    but i just got a text

    "i dont know either y not another nite at port again ... btw u r gona love me so much it's scary" bitch it's the small things i love ... do not try to buy my love

    but it's kind of cute she's getting me a back to school package
     
  15. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I guarantee you if that guy tried to ge back with her she'd probably do it. who knows he might still be talking to her at work in a flirty way just so he knows he can still get back with her.

    I'd say get out of it before you get hurt.
     
  16. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    I even asked her in which she replied "no fucking way " :dunno:

    All her friends , family love me. All her friends and family hated him

    she told me she starting to actually live her life now. She said shes experience more things with me in 2 months then she did in a year with him
     
  17. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    so she's getting great things out of this relationship, but you're getting nothing of what you need?

    You would be alot happier with someone who truly appreciates you and who will do you what you need for YOU to be happy.

    I think the best thing for your happiness is to find another woman.
     
  18. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    like i took her out for a birthday dinner at this little classy Italian restaurant ... i brought her chocolate roses a dozen ... I also bought a Elvis CD solely so i can have her music in my car ... i had it set to her favorite song ...
    she was about to cry ... i guess I'm too sweet ...

    I am going to withdraw my affection from her very soon ...
     
  19. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    I can't stand when girls text like that :squint:
     
  20. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    fuck don't try and get into a pissing match with me it's not about that
     
  21. DubyaS6

    DubyaS6 New Member

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    Are you on drugs??

    Am I the only one who thinks this????

    You say you are going to withdraw your affection from her soon....are you planning this for a specific time/day??
     
  22. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    You're trying to buy her affection. Women don't like that in a boyfriend, but they (the users) sure do love taking advantage of it.

    This relationship is already over. You're not going to get the respect or love from someone like her.
     
  23. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    slowly over the next couple of months unless she changes ... which i doubt
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :mb:

    Look, I'm just going to say that I was once this girl years ago, and it wont end well for you. I was dumped by a guy I cared for more than anything. He didn't treat me like shit, but he still chose his ex over me after months of dating. I was miserable and right away I met a guy who would literally take a bullet for me. He would try and buy me things, write me songs, poems, whatever sappy thing you can think of. He told me constantly how much he loved me and planned our lives together. I liked him very much as a person...but wasn't over my feelings for my ex and just didn't feel the same for him as much as I wanted to.

    I wanted so badly to fall for him just because he was so wonderful...but he just wasn't for me. Eventually I had to let him down and end our relationship. He was crushed and I felt like a monster, but I knew he'd eventually find another girl that would love him for him.

    I'm about 99.9% sure this exact thing will happen to you, so drag it out if that's what you want...but don't be shocked when she never shows you the affection you crave.
     
  25. Kokomo

    Kokomo OT Supporter

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    She says she's going to change ill give her time ... but ease up on the affection ... she said she has something plan ... basically probably feels bad ... although she says she wants to move in and shit :hsd:
     

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