SRS Anon post~ Feel so destructive after breakup

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tigerlily, Jul 20, 2005.

  1. tigerlily

    tigerlily Spoiled brat.

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    I made the mistake of trying to salvage a relationship one last time yesterday by talking to her about the problems .. see thread http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1906474

    Not thinking it was possible, she managed to make me feel 100x worse then b4. It wasnt just the things she said, its how she said them. She really doesnt give a shit about me at all. She'd like to have me around, but on her terms only, and just everynow and then.

    I kept my cool with her , but I opted to keep some self-respect and told her to have a good life and adios.

    This chick dugg into me pretty deep over the last few years. More then any other gf has. She was with me through some tough times. But towards the end I put up with alot more than anyone should.

    Now that i know its definatley over for good, I have alot of hurt and anger. I have the urge to trash, break, tear up anything i have linked with her... Pictures, cards & other random stuff that reminds me of her or from her. I've never felt that destructive need with previous breakups.. so far i've stopped myself from trashing anything. I know she couldnt care less and I'm just hurting myself..

    Any of you guys get like this, how did u deal with the anger?
     
  2. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    Everybody's gone through this. Just don't do anything stupid right now. You'll look back on this in about a month and just laugh about it. In the mean time, just keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends and so stuff so you dont have to think about her.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    I haven't had anyone go to those lengths to upset me before, but I have felt rage in other situations. Like when the idiot chick who lived in my basement burned down my house and put me in the hospital.

    Anyway, this is a general list of things I do to calm me down:
    - Get physical. Go to the gym, run, play sports - anything that allows me to grunt :mamoru: and work up a sweat
    - Remove from your life the items that remind you of the person who caused you the pain. (In my case that was easy. They were destroyed.) If you don't want to burn or toss them, put them in a box or give them away. Out of sight, out of mind.
    - Realize that you're better off now. You got out of the situation, and you learned something from it. Chances are that she's going to end up in another failed relationship after this one because she hasn't learned her lesson. You can take vindictive comfort in that, if nothing else.
    - Stop caring about it/them. This was particularly hard for me because it's hard to forgive someone for more or less bringing your life to a grinding halt. However, once I realized that she wasn't going anywhere in life and that there were definite advantages to being out of that house and not having any belongings, I realized that I was the winner. Similarly, you are, too.

    :)
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    exercise dude.. join the local boxing club and punch the shit out of a 100lb punching bag.

    It'll make you feel better, it'll help you get your mind offa things as well.
     
  5. Indagator

    Indagator Twist of Cain

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    This sounds about right. Get the anger out however you must, so long as noone is hurt (including yourself). Punch a stop sign or whatever...just get it out (BUT don't hurt anyone...yet again including yourself). Just get that shit out. You can run like hell for miles ..whatever works...over and over again till it dissipates.

    You are better off without them. They don't fit you anymore, so move on. It's hard, it happens, but grow from it. Lots of people in the Asylum have, so listen up to experience.

    Let him/her go and do whatever you can to keep your mind busy. You'll grow from that alone, but you'll also be healing at the same time. Read, play video games, go out and have fun, whatever.

    Just remember that the shit you're feeling is not worth it overall. That's not putting down what you feel, but at this moment, you can do better for yourself. The trap is bitterness...whatever you do, don't fall into that trap if you can help it.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Never go into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerns you. We live in a world full with darkness and hatred, and we have to put love and light in it. You don't want to be a selfish person like her, and you don't want to drop people like she did. You can live with her as an example as someone you don't want to be.
     
  7. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    i have felt that burn before. it's best to go outside and destroy things of low value if you have to get the anger out.
     
  8. missXcurious

    missXcurious New Member

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    i know exactly how your feeling! but anger gets you no where and you're right you'll only end up hurting yourself. you need to throw everything in a box and put it up so that you dont destroy all the good memories you once had.
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Go Dodger Blue!
    http://davincicurse.com/chrisrambles/sam.html
    Welcome to the club :hug:

    Better yourself, discover your own identity without her. I updated my wardrobe, joined a gym, and will be trying out for a rugby team

    Eventually, try to see things from her perspective. Things come so easy for her that she doesn't feel like she needs to try at anything, especially relationships. She'll be pushing away guys that care about her for a long time. Pity her for she may never learn what she did was wrong. You will learn more from this relationship than she ever will. Once you forgive her then the healing truly begins. You'll come to a point where you can accept that it was a valuable experience that has shaped who you are now. For better or for worse, it is done and you've gained wisdom from it.
     

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