Anon:Last night i cheated on my gf of over a year and she won't find out. what to do?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Zemo, Sep 11, 2006.

  1. Zemo

    Zemo n00b of the year

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    Posted anonymously :)
     
  2. Zemo

    Zemo n00b of the year

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    My advice? It was a kiss....nothing more, right? And you were both fucked up, yeah? Well, then obviously it wasn't something that carried any emotional weight, and shouldn't be a problem for either of you at all. Just tell her what happened, and make sure to take responsability for it...it was your choice to get drunk, and therefore your fault you kissed a girl you shouldn't have....but, it was just a kiss, and one that obviously meant nothing...

    Other option: no harm no foul, right? This issue hasn't hurt her yet, and won't in the future (because you've learned from your mistake), so no reason to hurt her now, when all is said and done, and nothing can be done about it anyways. :)
     
  3. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    The bad: You lost your inhibitions and let something happen that you shouldn't have.

    The good: You snapped out of it, found some self control, and instead of boning the chick and rationalizing later how "it was an accident" you split immediately and spent all night in your room feeling awful about what you did. Give yourself credit for putting the kibosh on it quickly.

    Bottom line is you love your gf, and though you were too careless, you didn't intend to make out with some random ho at a party. (If everything you say is true.) So I don't think you should beat yourself up over it, but you'd better hope she never finds out, and for your part take it to the grave.

    In the future, you might consider not getting so hammered now that you know bad things can happen. This would be learning your lesson.
     
  4. scribblec

    scribblec New Member

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    dont tell her shit, a girl doesnt think rationally like us guys, if u tell the girl now then she will forever see u as a cheat
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: Obviously you can't handle alcohol in social situations like this one; if you can't retain your self control, you shouldn't be drinking while around potential temptations (like slutty drunk girls) that could lead to something bad happening.
     
  6. pctony

    pctony Alyson > *

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    dont tell her. if she will never find out then she doesnt need to know. it was nothing.
     
  7. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    well the right thing to do, would be to tell her. but i'm telling you right now, the whole long distance relationship is going to be hell if she finds out you already messed up...you'll be reminded of this atleast once or twice a week
     
  8. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    Ask yourself this. If roles were reversed, if she was getting wasted at parties without you around and if she was dancing with and kissing guys while wasted, would you feel you had a right to know? If you wouldn't be ok with her doing that, and you would want to know, ..just remember it goes both ways. If think if you really do love her, if you have any respect for her, she deserves to know what you've been up to.
     
  9. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Break up with her. You just started college and you are already using alcohol to make excuses. If you love her, do her the favor of giving her up to someone that will respect her enough not to be kissing other girls. It may have been a simple kiss, no meaning, but the fact that you did it without thought while drinking is the problem. You may have caught yourself this time, but if you were willing to go that far, next time you may not catch yourself.

    Unless you plan to stop drinking throughout college?

    O yea, if you dont say anything, it MAY eat away at you. Some people have problems with that (and end up on a show like Maury) and others have no problems taking it to the grave. Which are you?
     
  10. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    i would tend to agree with everything here... except one thing...

    she may find out. what if she knows someone at the party that saw you? or one of your guy friends slips up and tells her... or tells her on purpose?

    not that its likely, but there's always a possibility that she'll find out. i know that when my SO fucked up he thought i would never find out. but he was sadly mistaken.

    just saying, you might want to cover your ass and tell her just in case. because if she does find out later, she might totally freak out over it and the fact that you didn't come out and tell her youself. turning a basically harmless drunken fuck up into a completely blown-out-of-proportion fight.
     
  11. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Don't tell her it will fuck things up.
     
  12. Soybomb

    Soybomb New Member

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    You couldn't even make it the first week before you fell off the wagon and then pulled out the lame alcohol excuse. The long distance thing isn't going to work for you two. I suggest you end the relationship.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Abstaining from cheating is a lot like abstaining from food on the doet. It is part sefl-control/part removing temptation from around you. Just as a dieting person has to resist temptation when eating out, they can also remove tempting/non-healthy foods from their environment.

    Here's a thought. Try NOT going to a ton of parties, drinking 12 drinks, and being around drunken slutty girls. I bet then it would be a lot harder for things like that to "just happen".

    However, if you're going to continue doing this type of thing, you need to be single and stay single.
     
  14. low20

    low20 Member

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    id tell her and break up with her...its ur first week, ur bound to do it again, especially with an attitude "what she doesnt know wont kill her" ...crappy attitude for a LD relationship man...doesnt matter if your drunk or not, u still did it...
     
  15. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Tell her and you're screwed. Don't tell her, and you're screwed. I made the mistake of making out with another girl when I was going out with my most recent ex. I told her, and it always produced a barrier in the relationship. My ex never brought it up, but I always knew it was bothering her. I even brought it up and she told me that she had hated me for it even though she told me that she forgave me. I learned my lesson, and have never ever let myself get into a situation where I have that temptation. You made the mistake, and in my opinion, you need to man up to it.
     
  16. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Good analogy and good call.
     
  17. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    you don't need to tell her right away. first you need to prove to yourself that you really do love this girl. like matt said, stay away from temptation or at least learn to be a more mature drunk. you can be drunk and chill without doing stupid things. if you can handle that, then later on you can explain how you changed and didn't let it happen again. if it does happen again, you just don't love her and need to let her go.
     
  18. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Probably because he is ;) She deserves to know and to be able to make her own decision on what she wants to do.
     
  19. Lindsay Loham

    Lindsay Loham New Member

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    I was pretty wasted at a party before and this guy started kissing me (I have a bf) and I pushed him away and told him I couldn't do that and it was wrong. I told my bf about it and he understood. Just be honest. It was only a meaningless kiss.
     
  20. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    If its nothing then why even bother telling her.
     
  21. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Finding out about something like this is a bit like eating at a Chinese restaurant and you bite into something that tastes like it shouldn't have been in there...

    Sometimes you're better off not knowing.
     
  22. i2ichal2d

    i2ichal2d New Member

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    dont make it out to be a makeout session and tell her that a drunk girl kissed u while u were wing-manning.
     
  23. React

    React Still Strong

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    Don't tell her. Only thing you do by telling her is relieving your guilty consience (which you should live with) and hurting both parties.

    oh yeah you obviously dont deserve her neways since you cheated on her. Hopefully she finds out the hard way :fawk:
     
  24. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Uh yeah, except she can't trust him anymore because he got drunk and kissed some skeezy rodsmacker at a party! How does she know it won't happen again?

    I don't think it matters whether he tells her or she finds out on her own, either way he is in deep doo-doo. This idealistic notion that being honest about wrongdoing somehow absolves it is way off the deep end, it just doesn't work like that with real people.

    The lesson here is after you fuck up in this manner, you might just want to end it... cause if you stay you are taking a gamble on that event never coming to light, against wasting your time and hers as well if it does eventually and she dumps your ass.
     
  25. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    If it was nothing, why would he have bothered making a post about it? It is obviously something and the threadstarter obviously has a guilty conscience ;)
     

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