Animal Pak stories??

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by gubment cheese, Jul 17, 2006.

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  1. gubment cheese

    gubment cheese New Member

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    Is there somewhere I can find the mock stories? I could use a good laugh today...I searched OT but can't find em.
     
  2. _Kanwisher!

    _Kanwisher! Guest

    archives I think is where they're located
     
  3. _Kanwisher!

    _Kanwisher! Guest

  4. gubment cheese

    gubment cheese New Member

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    thanks...for the seizure lol.
     
  5. _Kanwisher!

    _Kanwisher! Guest

    Originally Posted by superbri007
    "I popped my animal pak in and chased it with boars blood, and then the unthinkable happened today, I was going to enter my gym through the main entrance when animal instinct took over. I knew something was wrong. It was my large torso, too wide to get through the door. I calmed myself down thinking, i'd better be able to get into the gym. I went back to my car, popped another animal pak, reved up my engine, and drove through the door. The crash cleared 4 more feet in the entrance, wide enough for future visits to the gym, because I know i'd only be getting bigger by the second. The animal pak was in full effect at this point, I lost control. I reved up the engine once more and ran over the people on the treadmills. All those doing curls I played bumper cars with, they didn't stand a chance. I saw my target, I drove to the squat rack. Parked my car on some pussy benching 400. I got out, and immediately loaded up 1000 lbs for warm ups. Not having enough 45 plates in the gym to suffice my ultimate animal needs, I went around collecting bodies, bodies ranging from 150 pound weaklings to 300 pound blobs. I stood them all in a line and threw an olympic bar like a javelin through their torsos, making a human shish-kebob weighing 3000 lbs. I threw it up over my head, took a deep breath into my belly of human flesh and blood, and repped for 20. Then I siphoned some of my cars gasoline out onto the floor beneath the 3000 pound human squat bar, lit it up and cooked myself a well balanced animal meal. Some might call it murder, I just call it instinct, animals can't be arrested for murder. Animal Pak, can you handle it?"


    :rofl:
     
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