SRS Anger issues

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Timdog, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    So, I know I have some anger issues. Now, I don't usually get angry at other people for stuff they do, but I get very angry with myself. Usually I'm perfectly fine with myself but then it's like I suddenly snap and start thinking of how much of a fuckup I am. And it's over really small issues too though sometimes bigger ones also make me blow up. Like I said, I am usually perfectly "normal" but it seems like I randomly snap and get very angry with myself. I call myself terrible things and just feel this general rage towards myself and berate myself. It does pass with time and I go back to being normal but I'd like to stop having these random outbursts. It also ends up spilling over into getting angry at other people because I'm in a REALLY bad mood.

    For example, I was driving today and was in the left lane. I knew I needed to get over into the right lane soon because my exit was coming up and there were opportunities to get over (though they were small) but I never took them and had to drive 2 miles down to get off at another exit. Those entire 2 miles, I was flipping out at myself, screaming stuff like "You piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing you retard." I calmed down once I got to my destination. A lot of times, these outbursts over small things also lead to me berating myself for other problems I have like weight (working on it) or just general laziness.
     
  2. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Why don't you hold a very high view of yourself?
     
  3. Timdog

    Timdog New Member

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    I don't really know. :dunno:
     
  4. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    I went from growing up with a parent who had anger issues, to marrying a man with anger issues. They both grew up with parents with anger issues. When the parents weren't around to bash them over the head for being inadequate, they berated themselves, as you're doing. This stuff gets passed down to the next generation. I'm working every day to keep from doing that to my kids.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    this is brilliantly insightful. the core of the issue, right there.
     
  6. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I have the same problem sometimes. I'm really hard on myself, exceptionally more than I would be on someone else that makes the same mistakes I do/did. I hate failure, and strive to be a perfectionist. I know that it's absurd everytime it happens but it doesn't change. What I came to realize is that I can't change stuff that happened in the past, like missed opportunities. So now, I just pay attention to the present. I won't miss the opportunities again because I know I missed them in the past. I've calmed down a lot, and I believe it's all about changing your state of mind.
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Sounds like someone's internalized some abuse they received as a child. Who are you to expect yourself to never make mistakes?
     
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Brilliant....road raging against yourself. Now if you pull over and start kicking your own ass, that would be really hysterical.

    You simply sound like you have set unreasonable expectations for yourself then berate yourself for not living up to those unreasonable expectations. Why not simply change your expectations instead?
     
  9. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Anger is the violent outcome of unmanifested desire.

    Desire is the cause of all suffering.

    Desire is the cause of all crime.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    This is the meaning behind a self-drawn tattoo I keep thinking about getting.
     
  11. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Interesting. I was also thinking about getting a tattoo about the same meaning... on my heart.
     
  12. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Anger is entirely destructive and probably the most common source of our own self destruction.

    It makes us look like a lunatic and serves no purpose but to destroy our self image.

    Since so many desires go unmanifested, anger is in every human being on earth.

    Realizing that the source of anger has been desire, you can begin to realize that when you become angry that you are not meeting those desires, then you can abandon them and the supports for that anger collapses.

    For me, meditating on anger and lust are my two priorities. I want the full comprehension inscribed on the tablet of my heart.
     
  13. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    Anger isn't your problem, this is your problem.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    FUCKING TIMDOG IS COMING
     
  15. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I don't think low self-esteem is the root cause of the problem. Usually when someone beats themselves up, it's because they were taught to do that -- and then they degrade their self-esteem over time as they continue what their role-model taught them to do.

    The first step is realizing that a mistake is not a failure, and as long as the mistake is repairable, it is not a reason for punishment. Restitution is a better teacher than punishment anyway.
     

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