And Now I Know I Know Nothing

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by i dangled you, Jul 7, 2007.

  1. I went out tonight with a couple of friends and my girlfriend, to help one of my friends learn pick up. Well I approached 4 seperate girls that he said were attractive. Not only did I fail, I failed miserably. I just thought I was fucked, but oh no. I made such a fool of myself. Now that I see, I may be able to give advice, but I have 0 field time at this point looking at tonight's adventure. I absolutely know nothing about putting pick up into action. Maybe it was the new environment for me, who knows.
     
  2. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    Takes a big man to admit his faults. At least you had the confidence to approach the girls instead of sitting and staring at them all night. I guess if you keep approaching, you'll get better.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    So break it down - what did you do, how did it fail, what did you learn?

    What was your body language, what did you say, how did you handle it?
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    maybe they saw you were with your gf?
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    You sound just like my friend Jason. I think its interesting that you are both Cancers (yes I'm into astrology :run: ).

    Your success rate cannot be 100%.

    Additionally, you set your own limits for failure.

    In that instance, you should have set the limit for failure at NOT APPROACHING.

    So as long as you approached (which you did), you succeeded. (so tecnhically, your success CAN be 100% :) )

    You can only do your part, you can't do her part as well. When you approach, you offer her an OPPORTUNITY.

    If she doesn't take the opportunity, it doesn't matter. What matters is you kept up your side of the bargain.

    You can't dwell on your so-called "failures."

    I am glad its motivating you to get out there and get more experience, that';s great.

    I crashed and burned more horribly and embarrassingly than you could ever imagine when I first tried to apply what I've learned.

    Also, I think you were trying to show off for your friend, and that led you to make mistakes you wouldn't normally have made.

    Never forget that you are the prize, and her rejecting you is a blessing.

    It shows that she has bad taste, and you have also gained information. The quicker you learn she isn't for you, the less time and energy you will waste on her.


    In conclusion, do not allow your so-called failures to make you feel bad. The only failure here would have been in not approaching.

    On the flip side, always take full credit for your victories. Allow yourself to feel good from them.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    And do what Poco said, analyze what didn't work while visualizing what would have worked in that situation.

    You can actually re-frame the interaction in your mind, to where you actually experienced the result you desired and it will help you in the future.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  8. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    don't try so hard.

    seriously i never go out looking for a girl.

    Me and my mates go out to have fun and pretty much take no notice of girls and yet they seem to love that and we always end up with someone.

    pic's of your mate to see what he looks like
     
  9. The first girl I approached didn't make enough of an effort, she seemed to be a lesbian, because she was far more interested in my girlfriend than listening to what I had to say. Yes, I take my girlfriend when I go do pickup. My body language I'm still learning to deal with, it's a new thing to me, but I learned I hate yelling in a bar. I have never been to a club and never plan to go. I failed because I learned that the type of girl I am attracted to (white, blonde, catholic/jewish) I have 0 ability to get. Other than that, I had a great time and it was more fun having my girlfriend around than anything else, she supports my hobbies just like your wife is cool with yours. I also know my lack of experience in a club/bar scene is awful. Every girl I approached kept telling me I'm cheap because I wouldn't drink. Then they'd turn around and ask me to buy a drink. Not a big deal, I'm going out tonight again, so I should have some luck.
     
  10. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    how miserably did you fail? do a quick summary. were you "smooth" enough to actually stay in conversation or did you get blown out?

    just as a hunch, i think the problem is HE picked the girls. if you see them and feel 0 chemistry, you shouldn't be going for them because its already a sign of bad compatibility
     
  11. I could hold the conversations, but I didn't detect shit for interest. I wasn't really going to pick up girls. I have a girlfriend, I don't need more than one. I can stay in conversations easy, but to actually generate interest is hard for me. I'm not good at escalating that often.
     
  12. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Good for you dear. Nothing facilitates growth like the admission of fault.
     
  13. Thanks, but I thought that's common sense, admit when you don't know something and work hard to learn about it?
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Sure its common sense. That doesn't mean people actually use it. How many people do you see bashing their head against the same brick wall day in and day out?
     
  15. More than I want to acknowledge.

    My dad always said, the number of stupid people in the world is always underestimated.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sounds like it was just an off night.

    I'm not sure it's reasonable to be able to have your skills get the desired result every, single time. I mean sure, they will usually increase your chances for success but there are always variables that we can't control.

    If you had fun and learned something....great but I would caution against thinking there is some fundamental flaw that needs to be corrected. It's possible that you were just having an off night...for whatever reason. Even hall-of-fame athletes occasionally go through slumps.
     
  17. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    it seems to me like they knew very clearly that you were interested in them by them asking you to buy them a drink right off the bat. it also seems to me like you failed two shit tests about drinking: 1) why aren'y you drinkning and 2) buy me a drink
     
  18. Why aren't you drinking right off the bat was because I don't drink.
    Buy me a drink was responded with why don't you buy me one?

    Any suggestions how to fix that ware?
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    quantify the amount of teasing/flirting you did in the first 5 minutes. if you just did one line or two, then thats prob why.
     
  20. I probably teased the whole time, but I just don't have enough confidence, and I'm sure it shows.
     
  21. FredBull

    FredBull *******

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    do you go to the Gym or do any kinds of sports? It helps tremendously imho
     
  22. bmorrell

    bmorrell SoCal > *

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    Maybe it's just me, but if a girl asked/told me to buy her a drink, I'd find another girl.

    Sounds like gold-digger to me...
     
  23. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    confidence is key, everyone knows this. keep working on not caring about results
     
  24. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    You also discovered that there is enough diversity in the female population that there isn't any single guaranteed method, style, or trick to picking them up. No worries though, learning is just a part of life. :)
     
  25. I'm a gym rat, an amatuer (sp?) bodybuilder at that. my body gets me plenty of attention. Women on the other hand, keeping them interested, is difficult.
     

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