SRS Am I wrong to hate my family?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by t-t-t-today, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    Honestly, I was born into such a dysfunctional shitty household. My mother is a psycho who has destroyed my fathers life, but at the same time she is very loving towards her kids. I can recall so many instances of violence and emotional abuse it's shocking. My mother wont' allow any of us to know my fathers side of the family, and I'm sure that that kills him. My moms family was really fucked up, therefore she is fucked up. My father is a very un-confident and ungrateful man today, but I'm sure he got like that over time. Bottom line is that my parents don't know how to treat each other and they aren't mature enough to raise kids. Therefore they are terrible parents. My immediate family is in ruins, there is no happiness and co-operation in my house. There is only arguing, violence, lying, and criticism.

    I am a very troubled young person today with very odd behavior. I just hate all of them so much for bringing me into such a shitty family and for being terrible parents. I hate my mother especially.

    Am I wrong to hate them?
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
  2. Mischievous

    Mischievous E8 group drawn in 64' by Peter McMullen

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    We are all human and just trying to do the best with the hand life has dealt us. Think about what their parents must have been like for them to have turned out the way they are, and then make a choice. You can be only the result of your environment or you can choose who you want to be. Take note of the specific things that are abnormal to you and figure out what your life will look like. Having a dysfunctional family is almost a normal thing, it just means that a good chunk of your learning about proper social interaction has to be done by you. There are a great many books on the subject that will help.

    What I can tell you is that blame(your hatred) only serves to anger and anger ultimately leads to either more anger, depression and/or anxieties(anger turned inward). Please be far wiser than your parents and learn to forgive(both them and yourself), no one is perfect, we all just do the best we can, the fact that you are seeing the dysfunction means you can overcome it.
     
  3. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    Right now my father is in the hospital. He has just been diagnosed with lymphoma. He has already told me that he doesn't care if he dies. Anyway my mother really started pissing me off at the hospital today and I couldn't take it so I stormed off.

    Later that day, I asked my sister what could have caused lymphoma. She said she doesn't know. Then i said, "it's probably from dealing with that fuck-job wife of his for all these years." (Yeah, I know it's harsh, but you should see what that bitch has done to this guy). Then she stands up and proceeds to attack me for calling our mom a fuck job. And I mean she REALLY went at my face punching and scratching me. Most of my families arguments usually end up escalating into violence, so this action was actually quite normal for me. Eventually my mother stepped in telling my sister "leave him alone he's sick in the head"!

    That is how fucked up our family is. I am a 100% different person when I am not around them. I think my hatred for them is justified by that very fact alone. When I am not around them I feel somewhat free and have very few worries. (except for my social anxiety, but that is manageable).
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    When your family is fucked up you end up fucked up as well. The key is to turn chaos into order and to re-balance your messed up by getting an example of 'how life really should work in terms of reality' as apposed from your confused mind and beridding you from all the terrible examples you have been given during your life. And i tell you right now that its probably going to take a lifetime because especially while you are young you take up and copy what your parents do, its normal but when you have abnormal parents the drama that unfolds is only logical. So what to do?

    I am not lying or kidding when i say 'bhuddism' and trust me i'll be the last that wants to impose some religion on you because that is the last thing that you want. Its not about that, its about the direction you are taking in life, right now you are going down hill pretty fast, you need to take upon an everlasting GOOD AND POSTIVE direction in your life, meaning that bhuddism is just a stepping stone in rebalancing your life with some pretty good ideas as opposed to your fucked up dysfunctional family, its best to get a book in the library or just buy one, its going to be strange but that's normal because you have lived in such a strange world of disfunction these teachings will seem strange to you but persistance is the key to succes, keep reading it and you'll exchange your messed up ideas with better more balanced idea's of how the world really works. In time it will learn you how to forgive your family and put things in perspective.

    But, i encourage you to read as much about money,finances, reiki healing, as wel as getting some constructive relaxing hobbies like gardening which calm your mind. These things are not meant to entertain you although its good if you can find entertainment from them, these are to SAVE YOUR LIFE.

    Who knows what fucked up life awaits you if you continue this downward going spiral of despair, its important to the outmost for you to jump out of this crazy backwards idea of thinking before it drags you down the drain.
    For this reason you need to steer away with all your might and do everything in your power to live a correct and healthy lifestyle.
     
  5. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I loved my mother growing up. I thought she was perfect. Then the truth came out when I was older and realized she was emotionally abusive towards me, which resulted in alot of weird behaviour in myself that I could not explain until I realized the truth of my upbringing. My mom was emotionally abused the same way growing up, so she adopted the bad behaviours and passed them onto me.

    I found this out by going to a psychologist after I was diagnosed with depression. I talked to the guy about my past and he recommended me some books that described my mother and father so perfectly, it was scary. After reading those books, it cleared my mind of alot of issues and helped me to deal with them.

    If you have psychological trauma, it might be a good idea to do what I did and go talk to someone and possibly get some reading recommendations from them. There's alot of stuff to read out there and alot of it can really give you some good insight.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It makes me sad, no matter how dysfunctional a family, that people can claim they "hate" them :sad2: My family has problems out the ass but I love them dearly because I would be lost without them.
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Violence towards whom? Your father, or the kids? If the kids, then she isn't being very loving, is she?

    What do you mean, she won't let you know your father's side of the family. How can she stop you? I say, do it anyway; if she gets in your face about it, get back in her face about it; if she starts hitting, start hitting back. Some people only learn their limits by escalating situations to (or past :noes:) the point of violence.

    Sounds like he's been pussywhipped and doesn't even have any pussy to show for it. Sounds kinda like my father; he's getting a divorce now, and he's finally realized that the kind of man my mother needs is the kind who can tell her to fuck off and really mean it, and who will be glad to sleep on the couch for a month to teach her a lesson.

    It's a shame there isn't a licensing authority for parents, isn't it? Then again, you wouldn't exist if there were one. Would you be cool with that, or are you willing to take the chance on yourself to see if you can do better?

    That's a shame. The best thing you can do is hang out with your friends as much as possible, and try to get as much "normal" rubbed off on you as you can get.

    Not wrong, per se, but it isn't productive. Strong emotions require a lot of effort. You'd be better off using that energy to unlearn the bad behaviors you've picked up.
     
  8. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    you're wrong to hate anyone.
     
  9. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    You are not in a position to make an absolute value judgement like that.

    Is he wrong to hate Osama bin Laden?

    What if a member of his family was in the WTC? Would it still be wrong for him to hate OBL?

    What if it turns out he has PTSD as a result of the shit that happened in his house, the same way the first responders on 9/11 have PTSD? Would it be wrong for him to hate the people responsible for a disorder that crippling?

    There are shades of grey in the world. Nothing is always or never.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009

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