Am I too far behind to catch up?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by BwanaKuu, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    Some background: I'm 19, college freshman with lots of friends (male and female), never kissed a girl, never been on a date, asked a girl out once (rejected). I'm wondering if I'm too far behind in experience to get anywhere now? Everyone of my friends talks about their first kiss in 6th grade or younger and all the people they've dated in the past. I just feel like since I have 0 experience, I'm too far behind now to catch up and even if I do get a girl to go out with me, it'll just end in disaster because I don't know wtf I'm doing and she won't want to put up with that. I'm not just looking to get laid either, I much rather have a long-term relationship with someone or atleast be dating people consistently. Problem is, it seems like most girls here just want to hookup with random guys and go home with a different one every weekend instead of having any real relationship.

    Anyway, is it too late for me? I also have 0 confidence in myself because I'm terrible at everything, it took me forever to atleast be socially "normal" (had to work on it constantly throughout high school) but I'm very boring, ugly (can't change this), and have nothing to offer really. I can make small talk easily and feel comfortable around pretty much anyone once I get to know them.
     
  2. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    Absolutely is not too late.
     
  3. Bagsic

    Bagsic New Member

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    nope not too late at all.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Your problem is you. You need to start thoroughly working on yourself, your self-image and get to love yourself. Whether that includes working out, eating better, making more friends is up to you. Until you believe in yourself you will not project a confident man that girls want to get to know. Work on yourself and then ANYTHING is possible, you just have to believe it.
     
  5. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    cliched answer but seriously, work on yourself first. I used to feel like you, then worked on improving how I felt about what I was doing and how I acted. I'm a very different, and much happier person now.

    What you need to realise is that if you are unhappy a girl won't make you happy. You need to be happy with who you are first. Then the girl is just an addition to that.

    It sounds nauseatingly self-help bookish but it's the only way. And it's not to late.
     
  6. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    If you hate reading, get some audio books about building self confidence. Shit, I listened to two on my last flight. Maybe consider a therapist. You seem somewhat depressed too.
     
  7. AnoesisX

    AnoesisX New Member

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    im 24 and in the same boat as you don't feel bad
     
  8. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    also look into laws of attraction

    If you have some spare time, think about interviewing for jobs that you don't care whether you get or not. You can practice selling yourself to someone that you don't fear rejection from nor do you really care the outcome. You could interview all day at a job fair or a temp agency. I came across this trick when I was in high school and I've used it to get every job that I've had and even to get job offers that it turned out I didn't want. Its all about what you project.
     
  9. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    i'm in the same boat (well sort of) its never too late dont give up believe in yourself and have confidence
     
  10. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    I already have plenty of friends, I've met some people that I honestly think will be friends for life. I know I need to work on my self-image a lot but I still feel like I'd be pretty boring to be around. Even if I looked my "best" it's not really much. I just feel like I have nothing to offer and can't quite figure out how to have something to offer. I've got a decent sense of humor and joke around with my friends all the time, even poking fun at some of my female friends (completely in a joking way). I've never met anyone who doesn't like me, but that's just it: everyone gets along with me or becomes good friends, but nothing beyond that.

    Maybe I just need to try approaching some random girls I don't know. I've never done this before, maybe if I go in with the attitude of not just making small talk and trying to escalate it, something will happen. :dunno:

    I think the biggest thing bugging me is that I've never kissed a girl before, my friends tell me plenty haven't by my age but I have yet to meet any. It just makes me feel so insecure.
     
  11. Simple

    Simple Sexy Beatch

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    bro I was in the kinda same boat as you, was a late starter but I had the confidence throughout and that's what got me going @ 19. don't worry about it. just do what you can and get yourself out there.

    if you have a girl that you're close close friends with get her to work on you
     
  12. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    What are you so self concious about your image? Were you picked on?
     
  13. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    you can always change ugly.

    find a haircut that works
    get in shape
    find clothes that fit
     
  14. BwanaKuu

    BwanaKuu New Member

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    Never picked on, just that I look MUCH younger than I actually am. I need to lose a little weight, but I'll still look 15/16 at best. :hs: Plus there's no way I can ever compare to the "hot" guys all the girls swoon over. It seems like if you have a nice personality they'll be your friend but if you look good they'll fuck you that same night. That's what I've gathered from listening to friends' conversations (females). I know it's probably not really this way, but it's hard for me to get over the fact that the only guys they seem attracted to in anyway are the BEST looking guys on campus. I know they can't really be attracted to some obese ugly person but it seems they don't really care about personality at all. :hs:
     
  15. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    dude you are really young still, you aren't even close to be "too far behind to catch up".

    Just continue working on being social and the rest will fall in place. Don't be so self conscious about getting some play
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Your view on life is totally skewed and completely inaccurate. I don't even know where to start. Everyone else has given you good advice so follow it. See a counselor, exercise, work on building your self image and most of all get over your damn self. The most unattractive thing a guy can do is throw a pity party.
     
  17. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    freakin dot.

    TS, maybe you are hanging around the wrong type of women? i was never attracted to the "hot guy" in college. sure, they looked good but they tended to have nothing much in common with me, therefore, i didnt date any of them (i didnt kiss or fuck any of them either). there ARE girls out there who will like you, you just may not know them yet. try doing what the others have said and work out. not only will it make you more in shape (and being in shape is always attractive) it will give you more energy, make you happier and make you feel good cause you are accomplishing something. all of these things will be noticed by females.

    and try not to get too discouraged. you dont need 20 girls on campus to like you, you just need one.

    oh yeah, and 19 is not too late.
     
  18. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    geez, 19 is NEVER too late.

    what's going on with kids today?
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sucks man, society has brainwashed the youth into thinking you have to lose your virginity at 13, be married by 19 and are a freak otherwise.
     
  20. Vixen01777

    Vixen01777 New Member

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  21. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    Seriously, and then they wonder why the kids in junior high are sleeping around.
     
  22. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Have you even read the posts in the thread? Stop beating yourself up and start thinking positively. You said it yourself that you have a good sense of humor. Read some of Yail Bloor's posts as far as "not being afraid to express your sexuality" goes. Listen to / read some books on attraction (as mentioned, Laws of Attraction) and take notes. You don't need to become a "Pick Up Artist" but you will learn a few things that will help you out I'm sure.

    Meeting random girls is great but that's a huge step up from where you're at right now, and personally I don't think should be your focus. Find a style that works for you and go with it. There will always be someone to criticize how you look, but if you're happy with it then your confidence will show. I'm 21 years old and I'm losing my hair like crazy due to genetics and some medical issues, but it doesn't stop me from being myself.

    Start going to the gym, set some goals, and do your best to achieve them. They need to be reasonabale. Do not say "I will lose 50 pounds and be ripped in 6 months." It won't happen. The routine I've gotten into is just lifting a few weights and doing some light cardio twice a week. I haven't noticed much of a difference at all (only been going for a month) and I have already had two different people say "hey it looks like you've been hitting the weights." People will notice, it will make you feel good.

    The most unattractive thing you can do is feel sorry for yourself and give that image to others. You said you feel like you'd still be boring... to be honest, I feel like I'm kind of a boring person too but I don't think anyone else believes that because that isn't the image I project. If I can do it, you can too.
     
  23. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy doing? Do you drink at all? Do you have a picture of yourself you can post for us? A lot of times vag crew can tell when a guy looks good/bad with/without facial hair, what might be wrong with their clothes, etc. Do you work? Are you into motorcycles? Play an instrument? Talented in something?
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the girls you meet have no idea you have no experience

    so don't tell them

    also if she's attracted to you, she will assume other girls are as well
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    fake it till you make it
     

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