SRS Am I Shallow? (Long, no cliffs)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by jmezz, Jan 7, 2006.

  1. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I'm going to apologize in advance if I make no sense. I'd also like to say Thank You to whoever reads this start--->finish.

    Let's see, where to start? How bout some background info... In most of 05, I wondered if I was battling depression. I never saw a specialist or anything, but I talked to a few from Asylum about what was bothering me and what was going on inside my head. I would often catch myself on late night drives alone just listening to music and thinking about stuff. Mostly stuff that had to do with me and what was going on in my life. I also always, constantly, had the memory of me and my ex in my head. We dated for 11months back in 2003 when I was 18, she was my first love and she cheated on me. But it doesn't change the fact that I would still think about her and compare every girl I met to her. Anyway, I was also never a part of any acitivities or a part of any "team." I just wasn't the social type. As gay as this sounds, I had braces until last November, and my teeth situation would always cause me anxiety, especially in a social setting or when I met new people. Therefore, i would avoid direct interaction with people. Anyway, someone on here recommended that I get involved with an activity. I was reluctant at first, but when my friends decided to push me to join a gym, it clicked that this could be exactly what I needed.

    Fast forward to now. My braces are gone. I visit different colleges every weekend and absolutely love mixin and minglin. :) I used to be a pretty scrawny kid, nothing to really look at, and the in the past 4 months of going to the gym I have really altered my image and I'm very proud of what I have accomplished all by myself. I've gotten compliments from so many people who have seen me before I started to change myself.

    So, you might be saying to yourself "What's the problem here?" Well, with all the physical change that's happened, there's also been a lot of mental change going on. A few people recently have said that I am very asshole-ish now, and that my ego has inflated drastically. I brushed it all off until a good girlfriend of mine called me "very shallow" for letting such small changes alter my whole personality. So I started to think about it and I started to wonder if she was right. Once she pointed it out, I kinda analyzed how I've been. I know I've been more confident, but is there that fine of a line between confidence and cockiness? Does it truly make me a shallow person because these physical changes have totally altered who I used to be?

    Does any of this even make sense? I've just been battling questions in my head and I could really use some input.
     
  2. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Well, I'm not sure you actually mentioned acts of when you have been shallow, but if it's in cases where you think you look good and are, possibly, better than other guys, and should therefore deserve a better looking girl, then quite possibly.
     
  3. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Really depends on what you mean by shallow.. what is it that people have been saying that they think is making you be this way? Any certain things you DO or SAY that seems to portray this? Ofcourse you're going to change somewhat when you yourself have noticed how drastic in a good way that you've been looking and are feeling.. this isn't to say that it should change the way you are as a person but overall the confidence factor will build up and in some cases which seem to be whats going on here.. you will think you look alittle TOO GOOD and let it overpower you where others notice it and can see that you're being cocky now.. let the confidence part roll in but don't let it change you as a person. Its obvious that you will also feel you deserve better and that is a decision you can make if you'd want but try to see what difference you've been doing that others notice and work with it to acheive mixing up who you truly are and putting that confidence into play but IN A GOOD WAY.
     
  4. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    If you're feeling good and enjoying life, and you're not pissing people off left and right, then who cares. If you have become different than the people with whom you usually hang out with, then they might not like that. But I wouldn't worry too much.
     
  5. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Well, that's the thing. I absolutely know I physically look better than I used to, and I absolutely know that I feel better about myself. I've gained a lot of confidence, when I used to not have very much at all. But see, I don't go out and think I deserve a super hott smokin girl or think I'm God's gift or anything like that. To tell you the truth I'm not even really concerned with finding hott chicks right now. I've been concentrating on trying to change myself for the better, physically and mentally.

    As for things I say, I guess I say too much about myself? I really haven't noticed but that same good girlfriend of mine told me that I talk about myself too much. But the thing was, she asked me what I did the whole day and I told her that I went out of my way to eat a whole bunch of healthy food (big step for me, I used to be a junkfood master) then I told her about my day at the gym, and then what I did later that night which was consume lots of alcoholic beverages. I guess it seemed like I was talking about myself for a long time because I would go into detail about each activity.
     
  6. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    Don't worry so much about what other people think. They're probably jealous.
     
  7. Mycophiles

    Mycophiles OT Supporter

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    I think you should keep doing what your doing. Others are probobly bringing up this "shallow" thing because they can't control or minipulate you the way they used to be able to and that is causing THEM anxiety.

    Just a thought you might want to look at.

    Congrats on everything btw.
     
  8. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Thanks a lot for the insight guys. I really appreciate it.

    It just really made me think because hearing things like "your ego is inflated" and "you're shallow" made me second guess myself and made me question if I truly was changing for the worse, instead of for the better like I have been trying.

    Again, thanks for the help.
     

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