Am I over reacting?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sportsjunkie, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    The new guy I'm seeing calls me "babe, honey", and at the end of phone conversations, he says "love ya babe".

    now maybe it's me and maybe OT is getting to me, but is this normal? last time a guy started saying "i love you" to me, he ended up breaking up with me; so maybe that's causing me to become paranoid.

    i honestly don't mind it, but that's ok for him to say right?

    with the "i love you" part, he does say this with his family as well, so i'm guessing it is out of habit
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wait, I'm confused....Are you weirded out just because he says "love ya" and not "I love you" or are you weirded out because he's saying "I love you" to begin with?

    How long have you been dating? Are you saying "I love you?" If you've been saying "I love you" has he never said "I love you" back and it has always been "love ya?"
     
  3. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    :rofl: sorry, yea that is confusing

    it's not the way he says it. he says i love you and love ya, i don't care about the way...just that he says he loves me (hope that makes sense) :o

    we've been dating for 2 weeks now. I don't say it back because I don't love him. I'm assuming he's saying it out of habit.

    so yea, it's just "i love you" to begin with :hs:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :eek3: 2 weeks!? Ohhhh ok, now I understand. Now when he says this at the ends of phone calls (it is only phone calls, right>?) do you just hang up or say "night?" You don't say it back or anything I'm assuming, correct?

    I wouldn't get worried about it at all though. Maybe he's just a really affectionate guy? :dunno: I mean I'm even shocked he says "babe" and "honey" after 2 weeks :mamoru: So maybe you just got a really good guy who is not afraid of emotion/affection.
     
  5. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Yeah, that would bug the shit out of me if I had only been dating two weeks, probably creep me out, actually :o However, giving him the benefit of the doubt that it's "just out of habit," if you're ok with it then who cares :dunno:

    However, [if it were me :o] I'd tell him that I don't take those words very lightly and I'd appreciate it if he only told you that when he really loved you, and not in the "love ya!" sort of way.

    That's just IMO, though :hsd: Ultimately if it doesn't bug you then who cares. :wiggle:
     
  6. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Fuck, I freaked out at 2 months after the ex dropped the l bomb let alone 2 weeks.
     
  7. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    agreed. it seems that's just his way of saying good-bye. there are people who use the term "love" quite loosely. "omg, i just love this/that/the other thing". so, i'd say it's out of habit more so than him actually loving you.

    however, if it bothers you, follow the quoted suggestion.
     
  8. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    yea i just hang up and say "bye"
    you're right, he says he feels super comfortable around me and that his previous relationships consisted of "uppity" girls and he broke it off cause he couldn't feel comfortable with them


    yea it doesn't bother me much. i just think those words mean so much more imo. and i would like it if he used them after a prolonged period of time :hs:
    i will tell him though how i feel about the use of the phrase. it will put me at ease
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    that is very unusual. you are fine. relax.

    edit: 2 weeks? wow, thats a bit quick
     
  10. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    :hsd:

    Also, I think I just have a particular pet peeve of people doing the whole "love ya!" thing. I understand "I love you" and "love ya" and even "love you" are very different things. People telling everyone "love ya" all the time bugs me. I don't even like to use the term "I love you" in a LTR all the time [you know - every time you get off the phone, you see each other, that kind of shit, etc.] It bothers me because I think it loses meaning. Even so, saying "love ya" to me after only 2 weeks would reallllllly bother me :o

    So, granted, my opinion is biased :o
     
  11. prototism

    prototism Guest

    Be careful. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He could hurt himself, or you. Unintentionally, of course.

    Does he get annoyed that you don't say it back?
     
  12. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    no, he never gets annoyed that I don't say it back. He does wear his heart on his sleeve, especially with me. We come from a very similar background like any other guy i've met. We click a ton.

    I told him that I'm not having sex with him until it's "the right time" and we both feel it's good. Now I know that doesn't mean much, but we can read each other fairly well for only 2 weeks.

    We are getting away this weekend and it's gonna be pretty "special" for us because it'll be the only time we will have some real quality time together
     
  13. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i say love you at the end of phone calls all the time w. friends. mostly bc i want to hear them say it back bc i know it makes them awkward.

    so you could say its habit for me. however if i start dating a girl ive never slipped up and said it bc i dont want her to get the wrong idea.

    so to answer your question. you are not weird for being weirded out... however it sounds like he is just saying love you as a good bye not in the actual meaning.
     
  14. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    to me this is the direct opposite of what some girls do..........like how they say "babe" "hon" "sweetie" to people/friends that they are obviously not dating, etc...


    and yea if he is brought up that way, then you can't really fault him for that. Just deal with it I guess.............but once he starts going into the "I love you" parts after 2 weeks then yea, I'd be scared too.
     
  15. dan7532

    dan7532 New Member

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    lol, I always say "love ya" to my family on the phone right before I hang up. Recently, I had a phone convo with a girl I was dating. A minute after hanging up, I get a text:
    Her: did you just say 'i love you'?
    Me: no
    Her: yes you did. just before you hung up, you said 'love ya, bye'. You love me don't you?
    Me: No. I hate you. Go away.
    Her: Dan's in LOOOOOOOVE with me. When are you gonna start buying me things? Diamonds are nice, start there :)
    Me: Damn it.
    Her: lol
     
  16. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    yes ma'am he is and thanks :bigthumb:

    I must say...I feel like he's different from every other guy I've dated. He's mature, funny, attractive, smart and everything else in between
     
  17. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    ugh
     
  18. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    yea this is what i'm thinking as well
     
  19. prototism

    prototism Guest

    Congratulations on your man. I am in your boat, except with a girl. Unlike anything I have known either.

    :bowdown:
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm the same way, but then again you and I have had talks about this exact subject :mamoru:
     
  21. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    werd, :mamoru:
     
  22. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    thank you! :bigthumb:


    loz i'm starting to like the Vaginarium again :mamoru:
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Hold up, this is extremely important to the question:

    Is he saying SPECIFICALLY "I love you" or is it this:

    ???
     
  24. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    it's both...it varies
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Two comments:

    1. People who say "love ya" out of habit are retarded (just like people who say "i love you" to everyone when they are drunk)

    2. I cannot stand the term "babe."


    Honestly I'm sure he's cool and all but just those two things are setting off my douche alarm already.
     

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