Am I Just cursed with men?? (long rant)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Miss Red, Oct 5, 2008.

  1. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    So I'm just gonna jump on in...Over the past year I've been going through a lot. I ended a living together situation, and then had a trist with a really good friend that blew up in my face. I was beginnging to think that I just wasn't meant to be happy in a relationship. I moved closer to my family and then met an amazing guy through my rommate (who is preggers). We vibe really well, and I think he's amazing. We even share a passion for indie films. There is of course one big problem here. My roommate informed me that she didn't like her friends dating, and she was protective of both of us, so when he started to make a move, I told him we shouldn't because it might upset her. Then one night when he was leaving he kissed me. We kissed a few more times after that and decided not to say anything because nothing was really happening with it. Then she found out and went ape. I told her we were both just having fun and hadn't even been on a date or anything and to calm down, but then she tells me that she's liked him for 2-3 years and she's devastated that I would "go behind her back". She even brought his ex into things..It was ridiculous. When we had it out she asked me not to see him again, so I didn't for a while. Later that evening she told me that I could go ahead she didn't care anymore. I then hung out with him a few times and didn't say anything to her out of repsect for her feelings. In the middle of all this, my Nana (grandmother) passes away. Roommate becomes super nice and says all is forgiven. We have a great time and she helps me and my family through the whole mourning. Yesterday the guy sent her a txt saying he was sorry that he and I weren't more fwd with her about it and that he hopes he and I can still hang and that we can all still be friends. She came home and asked if we'd been hanging out. I told her yes. She then goes into silent treatment mode and camps out in her room the rest of the night.

    What should I do?? I feel like she's over reacting. And that I shouldn't feel so bad about something that could turn into a great situation....

    Cliffs:Roomie goes ape when it comes out her friend likes me...I didn't know she liked him too..What should I do?
     
  2. fray

    fray New Member

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    So basically your friend is a lying bitch. She (who is already pregnant and not by him I'm assuming) forbids you from dating because you are both her friends (retarded reason) and then gets really pissed when you follow your natural attraction (like a normal person - it's not like this was her brother/father/baby daddy) because you didn't know the true reason she didn't want you to see him was because she liked him (without even knowing if he shared any kind of mutual attraction).

    You do not have a problem with men. You have a problem with friends.
     
  3. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    . time to find a new roommate.
     
  4. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    don't let that woman control your life. pregnant or not, get rid of her. you don't need people like that around you. they'll just bring you down and make you miserable
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'll tell you what I tell all the guys here:

    Never EVER belive what a woman tells you, even if she's your friend. :rofl:

    ****

    With guys we have the whole "bros before hos" thing. Do you have something similar as girls? A "chicks before dicks" thing or something?

    If this girl is your friend and roommate, perhaps you can set your own self aside for the sake of the friendship and stop fucking around with this guy out of respect for her feelings. :dunno:

    But that all depends on how much you value the friendship. I mean, she's a woman, so she'd PROBABLY get over it if you started dating the guy and it's probably way more likely that she just wants to see how much you value her friendship. I bet if you told her that you were going to stop because you value her friendship, that in time she'd be ok with you dating him. Cause girls are flukey like that.

    At the end of the day? There are 3 billion guys on the planet. Is this one worth a friendship?
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your roommate.

    And as far as she goes, tough shit.

    She doesn't like her friends dating? Tough shit, she's not in control of their lives.

    She liked the guy for 2-3 years and gets mad that you did stuff with him? Tough shit, she should have tried to pursue him instead of telling everyone they can't have him.

    It's YOUR life. Why should this girl be allowed to dictate what happens with YOUR life?

    Just continue to see this guy if you want to. I'm not gonna say to tell the roommate to fuck off, but you need to imply it with your actions.

    That whole "I don't like my friends to date" is horribly, horribly, horribly immature.
     
  7. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    Yeah, the whole thing sucks. She and I have been friends since we were 6 so it makes things that much more personal. I just have the best time with him and he's the type of man that I have been waiting for. The whole thing just sucks.
     
  8. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I know. When her and I got into it about the situation I told her that it was highschool bullshit and immature. She then cried and told me that I knew she liked him, and I'd hurt her more than anyone in the whole world. :eek4:
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    If I were in your situation, I would do the wrong thing. I wouldn't even think of the right thing, but I would LOVE to have an objective outsider to tell me what the right thing was.

    In this situation - when the girl told you she was protective of her friends, you SHOULD have been direct and countered this with something.

    By letting it seem like her preference was going to be the Rule of the house, your later actions, although perfectly ethical, were framed as a betrayal.

    Directness ftw.
     
  10. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I see what you mean JJJ. I just hate walking on egg shells and now I feel like even if I stop talking to him, our friendship will still suffer.
     
  11. acksirem

    acksirem New Member

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    Not to mention the fact that she is PREGNANT and should probably be more concerned with raising a child (solo I'm assuming). I'm not sure that during pregnancy is the ideal time to be worrying about dating. She should be building and strengthening supportive friendships at the moment.

    I think the main key here is for you and the guy to decide how much you actually want to be together. If you've found love, hang on to it and nurture it. Hopefully your friend can find a way to be accepting. If not, ask yourself which relationship you value more... That's a tough one
     
  12. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    I would just not bother with the guy. It sounds like you and your roommate have a close, long-standing friendship so is one guy really worth the havoc?
     
  13. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    He and I talked and he understands if I don't want to hang out, but is upset that this whole thing happened. I hate to think that I'm missing out on someone so wonderful. I do feel like he's mad that I'm not just being like fuck it, I'm going to hang out with him! I don't do so well on conflict with people I care about, and honestly, it's hard to find a good man who you're compatible (sp?) with. Especially since I'm one of the guys. I know if she and I sit down and talk about this it'll be just another screaming match.
     
  14. fray

    fray New Member

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    I was going to bring up the pregnancy thing also. Do you think she's really upset, or is she just hormonal?? Do you think this would've been an issue if it occurred at a "normal" time?
     
  15. fray

    fray New Member

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    See, I almost go the other way. She doesn't sound like a very good friend, are you sure you want to give up a potential guy for a "friendship" like that. Of course, that is minus much other info aside from this one incident.
     
  16. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    That's the weird thing. I honestly don't know. I tell her he has bigger things to think about then she gets really defensive. There are two or three guys that she's talking to right now, or has interest at least in, and I just think that's the last thing she needs to worry herself about. Men should be last on the list right now.
     
  17. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I'm beginning to feel that way too. I know we've been friends for a very long time, but this is just stupid. And I realize that it may make me sound juvenile, but it almost makes us want to see eachother more. :noes:
     
  18. fray

    fray New Member

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    Let it simmer for a few days then try to talk about it. I definitely don't think you're in the wrong and I don't think you should feel like you need to walk on eggshells around her because she's so mad and you were bad. If anything it's kind of like you're both coming at it from opposite sides and you both have viewpoints. (although my bias says that you're more in the "right" than her, but that's beside the point.)
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

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    Has it been a good relationship up until this point? Sometimes just because you've been friends with someone for a very long time, doesn't mean it was a great healthy relationship. It was just easy or convenient, or any of those same million things we see in dating relationships that make people stay together when they shouldn't.
     
  20. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    I feel it has been. She always has been a little bossy, but this is dumb. We've always been there for eachother, especially in hard situations. I have known her to be a princess type personality, and we have fought before and been fine, but never ever like this.
     
  21. fray

    fray New Member

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    Yeah. I'm sorry. That's a shitty situation, especially with living together. I guess you're just going to have to sit down and decide what it's all worth to you. Perhaps you will be able to remain friends, but it would be in your best interest to move out. Then you could do what you want without worrying about it 24/7. Hopefully you could continue to date him if you choose, but she'll get over it. Separation would probably help.
     
  22. Yeah it sounds like because she can't have him, she doesn't want you to have him either. Sounds like a good friend at heart that can't come to the realization that they are being a HORRIBLE friend by doing all of this and needs to straighten out their life.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Never let someone else get in the way of your happiness.
     
  24. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Some one needs are reality call...

    and it isnt you.
     
  25. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    -The baby is the result of her and an ex having a one night stand. I know she needs to get off the whole dating people, and the drama that is going on, but this really seems to have cut her to the core.
    -She didn't introduce us with that in mind. He was in a large group that we went to see fireworks with, and he and I hit it off. I really don't believe she thought that he and I would click.
    And I would move out as I believe Fray mentioned, but I just can't afford to break lease. I think I'll give it a few days and see what comes of it.
     

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