SRS Am I in the wrong here?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by KyleWhitey, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    My buddy dated this girl for around 3 weeks over a year ago, and recently me and her started talking. I told my buddy and he said he didn't mind. So me and this girl started hanging out more, and got to the point where we weren't "just seeing" each other. It kinda got more serious. My buddy started getting hostile around me, and always says negative shit about her. So I asked him again, and he's like "No man it's all good. She's a whore though, so careful"

    Obviously he's not okay with it, so if you were in my shoes, would you cut ties with said girl?


    I understand that there's a bro code about it and all, but I'd never even think about doing what I'm doing had he had a serious relationship with her. I love the guy and all, and would never choose a broad over his friendship, ever. I guess I just need some fresh advice.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2010
  2. Ann

    Ann Sono stupenda!!! Vedi la mia roast beef?

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    I think you already answered your own question here.

    I think it comes down to what you feel comfortable with. Clearly your friend harbors issues with you talking to this girl and clearly you are not willing to loose his friendship over her, so all that is left to ask is whether or not this girl is worth the riff in your friendship. It seems that it isn't in your mind so there doesn't seem to be much of an issue here.
     
  3. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    You said yourself that he doesn't seem okay with it. He might still have a little bit of feelings towards her, even though he doesn't admit it. (Or maybe he knows if you two date, he'll have to see her and he doesn't want to be around her) There are plenty of other women out there to date. I don't think you should risk making your friend uncomfortable and having things be awkward between you two.
     
  4. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    I know I sorta answered it, but I was wondering if he's in the wrong for getting irritated, or am I for thinking that way?
     
  5. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    I'd say you tell him to give you justification for his feelings about her and I also say you take a 3rd person view of what he says so you dont also get emotionally involved with the confrontation. For all you know he could be trying to give you a big heads up. Confronting him about it could also cause him to realize how dumb he's been. Either way it will let you know how he actually feels.

    I dont think either of you are in the wrong, you just need to communicate your differences. Even if you have to deal with him not acting like whats going on isn't going on. Its nothing to end a friendship over but it will be a bump just like every other relationship has bumps.
     
  6. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Three weeks over a year ago? What the fuck happened which makes him hate her so much?

    Why don't you get details from him?
     
  7. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    Thanks man, I think I fully understand now. I'll have a chat with him tonight about it. Thinking back I really think you're right, and he's trying to warn me. Again, thanks.
    I'm also going to have a chat with the girl in question, and I think I'm just going to end things with her.

    I've tried.. He's always vague about the details, but always ends it with "She's just a whore"
    Which makes me believe that she cheated on him or something.



    Thanks guys.
     
  8. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    If he's vague about the details, it could be that she put him in his place about something, and he's resented it
     
  9. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    I thought that too.. but my buddy is truly the nicest guy I've ever met. He's oldschool when it comes to relationships.. something I lack and look up to him for. He's not one to talk shit about someone either.. which is why I'm soooo confused about it all. I'll talk to him tonight and post the outcome.
     
  10. Ann

    Ann Sono stupenda!!! Vedi la mia roast beef?

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    To some extent, yes he does seem to be off base with his irritation especially since we are talking about 3 weeks over a year ago. There is something more to his time with her that he doesn't want you to know about possibly.

    Talk to him again and this time let him know the seriousness of your discussion and to not shrug it off as "all is good but hey she is a slut." Maybe she dumped him?

    After that you still need to decide whether or not he has taken your discussion seriously and if you pursue her if it will cause a problem in your friendship.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    regardless of how long he dated her, or far in the past it was, he's obviously not ok with it.

    Is he over-reacting? Well you're suggesting a 3 week relationship shouldn't have meant that much to him. Yeah, probably, but in this case, he's clearly got some issues.


    So if you really mean this, then there's your answer.
    Is he going overboard...maybe a little...but he's not really wrong, he just feels what he feels.

    So we're back to your assertion. Your bro before this girl. There ya go.
     
  12. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Dated for 3 weeks and he's that biter? :rofl: sorry but I'd keep dating her if you really are into this chic. He'll get over it eventually if he doesn't he's not really a true friend.
     
  13. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Wait - is he being hostile TO you or around you and TO her?
     
  14. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    at times guys will call a girl a whore when they got dropped for another guy.
    oh what a whore, we were dating and she left me for joe.

    3 weeks a year ago? my guess is that his ego was hurt while w. her. seeing you w. her is bringing that back and he is jealous that you are getting w. her.


    sit him down and ask him "look, i know you are telling me you are cool w. this. but you have been treating me differently since i started getting more serious w. her. whats the deal? and dont just say she's a whore. there is more to it!".
     
  15. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    I talked to him last night, and I finally got somewhere. Assuming that he's not lying to cover up his bruised ego of course. Anyways, he told me that they broke up because he suspected her of cheating. I attempted to dig deeper, but he just got irritated and changed the subject after awhile. So I called her last night and asked her about it, she just kept shrugging it off with "Idk what his problem is. He's just jealous"

    I'm not really that into her, so I just ended it. Not worth the drama. Thanks for the advice guys.
     
  16. crown royal

    crown royal Active Member

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    Sounds like you did the right thing. Your friend sounds a tad silly though. 3 weeks and he suspected her of cheating? hm
     
  17. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    That's what I was thinking. Oh well, let's hope this situation doesn't come up again with this friend. If it does you might want to question his motives.
     
  18. KyleWhitey

    KyleWhitey Guest

    It's the first time it has, and the last time. I'll make sure I don't get involved with his exes from now on :o It's not worth it.
     

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