SRS Am I crazy or is this NOT OK?!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by HumanIsFood, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. HumanIsFood

    HumanIsFood New Member

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    My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we are in a commited relationship. I suspect she has cheated on me before but I have no proof. I have caught her making out with other people (sometimes even in front of me) but cant confirm anything more for sure. We have a recurring problem that goes like this...

    So last night we are hanging out at home, watching TV and drinking. It gets late and I have work the next day so I go to bed. She stays up and continues to drink. I can hear her downstairs making phone calls and she comes upstairs to get dressed to go out. Its about 2am at this time. She says she will be home in an hour and I can tell she is really drunk. She ends up staying out all night getting home in the afternoon the next day. I dont know what happened but to me this not OK. She claims that I am trying to control her and that there is nothing wrong with this behavior. I dont know what to think. I guess I am asking for advice. I have been considering breaking up with her. I dont really want to but I also dont want to live always wondering where she is and what she is doing. Help me out!


    cliff notes: girlfriend goes out all night. gets drunk. doesnt come home til next day. i dont like it. shes says i am trying to control her. what do you think?
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    She made out with someone INFRONT OF YOU!?!

    Honestly man, have some respect for yourself (apperently she has none for you) and kick her to the curb and find someone that will like and care about you.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yes you ARE trying to control her. Because you want her to behave like a girlfriend, and she very clearly wants to step out on you.
    And she IS stepping out on you, pretty damn blatantly.

    Dude this one is over. It's just a matter of when you choose to realize this.
    You can continue to keep taking this unbelievable shit from her, or you can man up and take action.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Dude, there's your proof! She's making out with other people in front of you? Why have you not dumped her? That's a slap in the face! She's showing by her actions "I don't respect you or care about our relationship". And you haven't dumped her?

    What, do you think she would just stop? She's walking all over your relationship, and you're just sitting there letting it happen.

    As johan said, you guys don't even have a relationship anymore. You're deluding yourself thinking she has any interest in it...she clearly doesn't. She's just waiting for you to break up with her, because she knows that no reasonable man would stay with a girl who does this.

    So why are you still with her?
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    If I had to use one word to describe your position in relation to this situation, the word would be "doormat".
     
  6. zooenthusiast

    zooenthusiast New Member

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    fuck that bitch
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    how does that help in any way?

    Seriously, this isn't the main forum. Either say something to contribute, or don't say anything at all.
     
  8. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Honestly, you'd be better off without her.

    Don't let her walk all over you -- it seems like she has and will continue to do so. You can either: a.) Sit her down and talk to her about it or b.) Cut it off and end the relationship.

    It sounds like you're pretty much settled and ready for a "commited" relationship, but she isn't. It's probably better to cut your losses. Sure, it'll hurt for awhile, but you'll be back up on your feet in awhile.

    I'm trying to get over a 3-year relationship and it's tough -- but you gotta move on. She wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship, I was. It sounds like a pretty common theme between our relationships.

    In my opinion, try to talk it out -- if it doesn't work, kick her to the curb and don't look back.
     
  9. zooenthusiast

    zooenthusiast New Member

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    ok let me rephrase, break up with her because she is obviously hurting you and the relationship is not a healthy one. you deserve someone who will give you the love and attention that she's not giving you. a relationship needs commitment, trust, and equality, which this one seems to lack. you need to let her go and find someone more attentive to you
     
  10. sublime335

    sublime335 New Member

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    That might be the most true advice ever givin... EVER.

    Me and my ex broke up over the phone years ago. After that we tried to be friends. Everytime I saw her, I don't know how, but I just knew who she had hooked up with and when. Most earie thing ever. Every time I called her out on it, she admited that I was right. I don't know how it happens but your gut really never lies to you.

    Ditch the bitch. Never talk to her again. And be mean about it when you break up with her so she won't want to call you later on down the road. Tell her she is a whore and she is going to hell. Probably make you feel better and you won't ever have to talk to her again. She is definately cheating on you.

    By the way. If you have caught her making out with other guys... Why didn't you break up with her long ago. Apparently you need her way more than she needs you. Don't be her puppet. Tell her to take a hike.
     
  11. sublime335

    sublime335 New Member

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    another good idea is... next time she leaves at 2AM, wake up really early, go to your nearest hardware store, and buy a $10 doorknob with a new lock. Go home change the lock and don't answer the door. No matter what. Don't even do her the respect of breaking up with her, just move on without telling her... haha. That will show the bitch.
     
  12. cleanerupper

    cleanerupper Guest

    ^^ Do that, but also put some strong laxatives in her drink beforehand. :noes::noes:
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I'd recommend against doing the childish revenge things, and just dump her.
     
  14. sublime335

    sublime335 New Member

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    haha. and do it right before you go to bed, and steal her key to your apartment/house off of her key ring. She won't notice one key missing. Then lock the door behind you so when she gets to her car and realizes she has to shit she wont have anywhere to go.
     
  15. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Deal Breaker, plain and simple. You're pussy whipped.
     
  16. sublime335

    sublime335 New Member

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    sorry, i'm not that mature and I have accepted it. Luckily there are people like you here to balance me out. :mamoru:
     
  17. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    And wait an hour, take her out somewhere nice, then blow some sneezing powder in her face. Sneezing powder + laxative = :ugh:


    Party pooper.

    This one is so cut-and-dried it's not funny. She needs to go, we're just trying to lighten it up a bit for the guy.
     
  18. HumanIsFood

    HumanIsFood New Member

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    ok to clear somethings up... the making out think was a while ago. i broke up with her and ask to me to get back together with promises of changing. things got better for a while but this shit happens every once and a while. she is a recovering narcotics addict and has many mental health issues. so her behavior is hard to read you know. i appreciate all your advice and it really does put me at ease to know that everyone agrees that this is unacceptable behaviour. i am gonna lay down the law and if she cant take it then i guess it will have to end. thanks a lot guys... it seems like i should already know this shit but your words have really given me some confidence that i am not crazy. because she really knows how to flip that shit around and make me feel that way. sucks.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Just remember for the future, DON'T EVER EVER TAKE BACK A CHEATER!!! They will not change and even if they supposedly do you'll always wonder in the back of your mind if they are doing it again. Cheaters have no respect for you and they aren't worth dating.
     
  20. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    May I ask why
     
  21. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I wish I was told this.

    If I had heard this and taken it to heart...then it would have saved me a whole lot of time/pain..etc.

    ***
    So to the thread starter, listen to this...seriously. Just take action instead of sitting on it.
     
  22. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    She made out with someone in front of you. You should have dumped her back then.
     
  23. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Because its mature and shows that he is above her childish games.
     
  24. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    After punching the guy in the face for being so rude.
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    A) It's an immature way of dealing with things

    B) if the person you do these childish things to is also immature, it just sets you up to have simil;ar stuff done back to you.

    I've seen threads where people post about their cars being vandalized, and they know who did it...half the replies are "go slash the person's tires" or "spray paint over their windshield". Just like that situation, doing that type of thing won't really address the problem, and it just opens it all up for a continual cycle of "let's get each other back". If someone vandalizes/damages your car, and you know who did it, you confront the person. If they refuse to do anything about it, you contact the authorities. You don't go on a streak of childish pranks.
     

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