SRS Am I being unrealistic?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Want2race, Jul 2, 2006.

  1. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    Basically... here goes

    I have a pretty high friend turnover rate but that doesnt really bug me as much as the problem I am having.

    I dont really want my friends to be friends with other friends of mine. I dont like the idea of hanging out with a "group" it usually leads to "he said/she said" bullshit which just complicates everything even more.

    To achieve this I usually keep details limited and say "I'm hanging out with friends" and wont answer anymore than that.

    Then for my BD I went out with a bunch of people. Some of the people basically "cling together" and stalk my other friends to make them their own. This pisses me off unbelievably, or perhaps selfishly.

    I dont like the way they then hang out all the time and I land up hearing shit I dont want to deal with.

    An example was I was going out with one of the girls the other night, just as friends. Then she calls me and said "thanks for changing the time, it really worked out well for her" I asked what she was talking about and she told me,"Doug said he wouldnt be home that early, so we changed the time from 7 to 10pm"
    Now not only did I not talk to doug, but I didnt want him to even come. I just feel encrouched upon.
    ANyways we went out and he was being a flashy fuck.. I really lost interest.

    Now im at the point of just giving up on all of them and looking for new friends. I have talked to most of my friends and they say its "fucked up" but "its hard to meet people"

    Basically, I dont want this type of talking on my behalf and since I have talked to the people and it continues, I presume there are no other alternatives for me?

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    It's idealistic and convenient to an extent but people have free will which on your part would be unwise to tamper with.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Well its like if you have 10 camels, and money to buy 3, you know none of them are perfect but you want to buy the best of them. I know you from your posts a bit now, and it always seems to be consistant of socializing problems. You have to understand that having friends comes at a cost. Because no one is perfect you will have to have 'tolerance' for 'imperfections' , if you don't give yourself and your friends some slack space with well defined borders, you'll never be able to socialize in a proper manner. People aren't perfect, nor are you, you accept and understand this, but you have yet to learn how to live with this. As said you do this with tolerance, but also forgiveness and love.

    That doesn't mean you have to let people walse over you, you just want to stay 'reasonable' , i mean you could always draw a line when things become unreasonable. Im glad to see you back by the way, haven't seen you here for a while.
     
  4. Want2race

    Want2race Fearless

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    Thanks.

    My problem is i define what I think are reasonable borders.. I just need to find friends who value me enough to observe them... I think..

    I also have noticed that the higher class you are, the less loyal people become.. :(
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I would say the opposite is true: You need someone to show you that maybe your reasonable borders aren't so reasonable afterall. It's easy to blame others for being outside of YOUR borders, but you're only fooling yourself if you truly believe that. If you tend to find yourself being the only one around you with these problems, the problem rests on YOUR shoulders, not theirs.

    :werd: higher class individuals usually are brought up to believe that people and friendships are merely tools of business. People are to be used to get something or somewhere, nothing more and nothing less.
     
  6. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    Somebody's bitter. :ugh:
     
  7. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Bitter has nothing to do with it, it's the truth.

    Sounds more like someone's a pussyhurt rich-bitch to me.

    Frankly, even people who "come from money" need to learn the value of working for what they have; most that I know have no concept of this whatsoever.
     
  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    In true friendships, with deep bonds... none of this bullshit matters. It sounds like you haven't cultivated any of these, and that your friends are casual friends. Stop worrying about those and look for deeper bonds between you and others. When those are present, petty bullshit doesn't come up and doesn't matter.
     
  9. TeddiBearHug

    TeddiBearHug New Member

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    I'm thinking your friends want more friends than just you - and what better way to find them but by other friends of yours - because they like you. If you attempt to control the borders/choices of your friends (which is what you discribed), you may be losing those friends.
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Social status being a determining factor on how good friendships are is BS. I have a lot of good friends. Some are lower class some are higher class. I concur with the "sounding bitter" remark. Just because it appears to be true from your perspective doesn't mean it's like that for everyone.
     

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