Sorry, but this is going to be a question with at least a semi-lengthy backstory. So, if you want Cliffs, please . First, my view on love and attractiveness. I do not believe in "true love." I believe that if two people are compatible, then they can unconditionally love each other and be happy. Of course, this also means that there is no such thing as "the one" (at least IMO); thus, you could potentially be happy with more than one person. I have been in a committed relationship for almost 2 years. The girl and I are very compatible, and we love each other. Before this, I had been in another relationship which was much shorter. I was happy in both relationships. As far as attractiveness goes, I think that there are 2 levels - beauty and hotness (for lack of a better term). I believe that beauty is a precursor to hotness; therefore, if you are not beautiful, you cannot be hot (again, IMO). However, if you are beautiful, then hotness is achievable (if you are not already there). Now, on to the problem/question. The girl that I am currently dating is beautiful. However, she is definitely not "hot." Everyone's definition of what is hot differs, but mine, more or less, is anyone who is not significantly overweight (and, as stated previously, is beautiful). I am definitely not into super-skinny (i.e., underweight) girls. Normal weight or slightly overweight (to the point of what some would consider to be "thick") is perfect for me. So, given the huge number of "hot" girls around, is having a hot girlfriend too much to ask for? I have been trying to convince my girlfriend to go to the gym regularly. I know that if she went regularly for 7-8 months, she would rapidly begin approaching hotness. I am not an unattractive guy, and I try to go the gym as regularly as possible (I am a medical student, so it is not possible at times). Of course, I try to take her with me whenever possible to encourage her to go. This summer, she kept on promising me that she would go 4-5 times a week; she would do that for 1-2 weeks, then stop, then go when I brought it up again. I was extremely optimistic about it, but now that optimism is fading. I talked to her about it a few nights ago, and she got very emotional. She began to say that it wasn't healthy of me to expect her to look a certain way. I care deeply for her, but I am not blinded by it. Is asking her to be at a normal, healthy weight (at which point I believe she will be hot) too much? As I have said before, I know that I could potentially be just happy (or happier) with someone else. Am I being too shallow/superficial by asking her to do this? Please spare me the "everyone is beautiful inside" speech if anyone is planning to give it. I know that I (along with almost everyone else) am shallow; I just want to know if anyone thinks that I am going to an extreme here. If anyone has any more questions, feel free to ask. Thanks. Cliffs: See first couple of lines of post.