am i being overprotective?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by thesuffering, May 25, 2007.

  1. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    okay, so I had my best friend over last night, and she was drinking. she ended up getting drunk and told me she wanted to kiss my roommate. i told her i didnt like the idea, and that she should wait till she was sober to make that decision. This morning she woke up and said she was happy she didnt kiss him because she doesnt find him all that attractive and that she was just being dumb and drunk.

    Ive told my roommate in the past there are two girls i dont feel comfortable with him doing/trying anything with: my sister and my best friend.

    Now my friend says I'm being dumb by basically telling him he cant do anything with her. She said I can feel uncomfortable about it, but I cant get mad if he did/tried anything. I feel its respect..if he told me not to touch one of his friends i would respect that and not do it. she says she doesnt want him at all, but if she wanted to i should be okay with it

    So, I want to hear your opinions. Am I in the right by asking him to respect my feelings on these people, and not to do anything, or am i just being overprotective?
     
  2. ass_kicker32

    ass_kicker32 New Member

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    you have a secret crush on her and you are jealous. So, if you are not going to do anything about it, the rational thing to do is let them do something. However, humans are not a rational species by nature, so nobody can really fault you for having these feelings.

    Basically, yes, youre justified, but you have to take into consideration their feelings. If they want to have a relationship, you shouldnt be the one to stand in the way. They will both resent you for it and your friendship may take a hit.

    damned if you, damned if you dont, basically.
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I've just stopped bringing girls over to my place when my roommate is home for this exact reason. My roommate is literally one of those guys that has 0 game and will walk up to a girl and say "Hey, nice to meet you... wanna fuck?". And it doesn't matter who the girl is - She could be my gf, my friend, my sister, any girl. And he is persistent; he'll hound her until she leaves.

    I've told him the same thing as you - this girl is not yours to hit on, etc. But he doesn't listen. So yes you are not out of line to not want him to do it, but if you want to prevent it from happening don't have them in the same room.
     
  4. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    I don't think you're being overprotective. But you can't demand people to follow your rules. If he's your friend and he won't respect your wishes then that there says something about him.

    This bestfriend of yours, is she a previous ex?

    I can be like that, though I don't like budging in. But if I'm sure one of my friends is being fooled around with, or she is making a mistake I'll point it out.
     
  5. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    :h5:
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    You did a good thing about stopping her when she was drunk...

    However, on the other hand, you have absolutely no say in who your roommate can and cannot date/get involved with.

    You don't own your friend and sister. As long as there is no abuse, no pedophilia, etc going on, they can be with whoever they want.

    If your best friend and roommate want to get together...that's their decision. Not yours. You may not like it if they do, but there's not a whole lot you can do about it.

    And as someone said, you probably do have a crush on your best friend, which is one of the reasons why you are being protective of her.

    But to sum up: THEIR LIVES ARE NOT UNDER YOUR CONTROL
     
  7. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    chill dip with that, it is very much for you to say whether your best friend goes out with your sister
     
  8. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    no, not a previous ex, just really good friend.

    my roommate is being cool about it and respecting me, however she feels im being dumb about it.

    she doesnt want a relationship with him, she doesnt want to hook up, just wanted to make out while drunk. but even then...i dont like that thought.
     
  9. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    You don't want to see her acting like a slut?
     
  10. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Well the last thing you want to say if something happens and ends badly would be, I told you so
     
  11. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    well for one, yes. i know for a fact she wouldnt have sex with him, she is VERY selective about that. but still, doing it for no reason save for being drunk...i dont want to see.

    and two, dont want her taken advantage of, especially by a friend and roommate
     
  12. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    i dont know if i could say i have a crush on her. yes she is beautiful, and yes she is a great person and i truley do love her..but when im with her I dont have any feelings that i want anything sexually. other girls, hell yes, but with her its different....
    im not sure really what you would call that
     
  13. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    Would you have a problem with them making out sober? You're not her dad.

    Are you worried about him taking advantage of her? Because that's pretty serious business right there, and a whole different issue.
     
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  15. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    i can honestly say yes, it would bother me if they made out sober. i have no problems with her making out with people...but just not my roommate.

    im not too worried about him taking advantage, but there is that 'what if' in the back of my head.
     
  16. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    So you've got a crush on her, plain and simple, and you think you're better than your roommate and therefore it would bug you if they made out. Holy shit I sound preachy, but that's my gut feel, take it or leave it.
     
  17. You're not her dad.

    You're personal interest in her, should not be a deciding factor for who she does or doesn't hook up with. You are protecting her in your eyes, because you are interested in her, that is the last thing she wants out of you. Let her do what she wants, her mistakes are based off of her choices and you will not be there to protect her forever.
     
  18. Wow we agree on something :h5:
     
  19. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I don't get why people are assuming that you have a thing for your friend (although they all could be right for all I know). I keep my female friends away from my roommate because all though is a good friend of mine, when it comes to women he is a dirtbag. So instead of him lying through his teeth or getting them drunk enough to fall for his shit, I just don't put them in any situations where he can be alone with them. This goes for girls I have no interest in, I just don't want his slimy hands touching my friends.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you roomate should respect your guest. If gets her number, and they want to hang out on their own, thats fine, but if you say I'm bringing a girl over and you are not to hit on her, thats very disrespectful of him to question that.

    though if you have no interest in her sexually, im not sure why you are being such a mother hen about it. What is your general feeling about your roomate? is he a friend? someone you dislike?
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That sounds like something a guy would say.
     
  22. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    lol, okay...thats my summary of it...but it pretty much sums it up
     
  23. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    he is a friend, however he has been a player in the past
     
  24. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    short end of it is that i have no problem with girls i like as friends hooking up with people i like and respect, but if you don't respect someone you don't want to see your friend "lower themselves" by hooking up with them.

    im guessing this might be a situation like that.
     

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