SRS Am I being like a piece of shit or what?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JakobwithaK, Jan 2, 2008.

  1. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Am I being treated like a piece of shit or what?

    What the fuck am I suppose to do about this? :wtc: Long story, but Ill keep it brief as possible.

    I admit when I was younger and into my teens I would always lie to whomever and wasnt a very honest person at all. My sisters all know it, parents, everyone...it got so bad that they couldnt trust anything that came out of my mouth - and in fact Im sure they still feel the same way (though they may not show it as much today as in the past).

    Im not sure if the issue that Im having is completely related to this, but Im sure it has some role in it. Anyways, Ive completely changed as a person like 5yrs ago (maybe longer), Im a very honest person right now. Its still a working progress, not saying im perfect but Ive made a complete turnaround.

    So I have a 3yr old niece, whos mother is my oldest sister (and oldest sibling in the family), Im also the youngest sibling. Now as Im sure we all know how attached kids are to their parents, and my niece does love spending time with me and vice versa. But we also know how kids can say the silliest things at times, that can be completely make believe. And every now and then my niece will say silly stuff out of nowhere related to me, that then immediatelys causes mom to lash out on me and question me. :wtc: She will lash out on me and treat/talk to me like Im a fuckin retard. :( And from there, she will go sometime after (whether its a week, a month) or whatever where she continues to treat me the same way, which is basically like Im some piece of shit.

    Ex 1 - maybe a year ago, there was maybe a span of 3 months where, whenever she was at her swimming lessons with mom and in the changing room, she kept saying to mom - my name and the word penis. I dont know what caused her to bring this up everytime, but my guess was that she was just getting used to seeing herself and others naked and learning about the human body for both boys and girls. And exactly during this time, yes my sister was starting to teach her about the very basic boys and girls privates - I asked my sister this at the time and she confirmed it. She was 2 at the time, she already knew that girls have a vagina and boys have a penis.

    So as you can picture, every single time my niece would bring my name and penis up, my sister would then come and lash out on me and question me. She basically would ask if I ever change while I would be babysitting her. Which cmon, I was totally insulted that she even asked me such a stupid question - do you really think Im that stupid to not know better? Obviously she thinks I am, otherwise she wouldnt have asked.

    Of course I say no, but what else am I suppose to say on top of that? Geez, I cant even do anything about it. And here is where I was totally insulted. One time I told her that, basically you know kids are kids...you cant believe everything they say, and like I brought up in this thread...they will say the silliest things at times that have no truth behind them. And then she goes "well, usually what she says is true, so I doubt she would just make it up" :ugh: WTF am I suppose to say to that? It really pissed me off just hearing it.

    Seriously...I just remembered that I was so blantantly insulted at the time that I didnt even reply back. Like WTF? :rolleyes: Eventually months later, this (what seemed to be a never ending drama fiasco) and thank god it did come to an end, she came to me and basically said that her little girl had stopped bringing those words up with her and she was just doing it during that time because she was just becoming more familiar with the male and female body. I mean seriously what the hell? I told my sister this god knows how many times. Shes fuckin 2yrs old for crying out loud, kids are learning at this stage...and in learning they go about it by labelling things...thats how they remember stuff. :rolleyes: She never apologized, nor was I expecting any - but I know she finally was able to see my side of things.

    Ex 2. She has been like this for months, but she always accusing me of teasing my niece. WTF?:ugh: She brought this up once again just the other night. My niece has tons of toys and stuffed animals and everywhere she goes she always has an animal or toy with her. So since I love kids so much, for example one thing I will do is get her animal and pretend its real and make it talk, make voices etc. I mean cmon we all know its not uncommon what im doing.

    Well, my niece doesnt like it when others touch her belongings - which is understandable because kids rarely learn about sharing at this age. If mom isnt around, shes fine with it, but if she is then she will go to mommy and then point to me. And of course, then mom lashes out on me. WTF? Its gotten to the point where Im just so fed up...almost like i shouldnt bother touching any of my nieces toys because if mommy sees it she will immediately assume im teasing my niece - even though I give it to my niece the second she asks for it!

    Jesus fuckin christ its not like Im refusing to give it to her or hiding them!!! :wtc: How am I teasing her? Im just playing! Even if say she gets a big new toy and it requires some setup, and I do it for her or help her...she gets upset because Im teasing her! But if anyone else in the family does it? Oh its fine by mother she doesnt make a single issue about it :ugh: Whatever. Seriously though, Im this close to just not touching my nieces toys ever again. Shes making it seem like im a complete bully whenver I go near her daughters toys.

    Ex 3. Just tonight we were out to dinner. My niece was playing with her chopsticks so thought I would use one of mine and gently tap her on the hand with it. All of a sudden my niece starts crying and talking a bunch of stuff to mom - which I couldnt hear at the time. But couple mins after she stopped crying and was calmed down I asked my sister what was wrong. And she goes "did you tell her that you would turn her into a rock?" Im like WTF? :ugh: I already knew once the stupid question came out that she was accusing me of something again.

    Basically the story behind this is, one of the books my niece has and reads frequently has a magic wand involved and its used to turn things to rocks. I have never read her that book and didnt even know anything about this until she told me about it.

    So basically my niece pictured the chopstick was a magic wand and using her imagination (going back to her book) she thought I was going to turn her into a rock. My sister thought I had actually said that to her. Cmon now...:ugh: I have never even seen or read or heard about that one book that contains all that stuff. :ugh: But see my point? Once again, her assuming and jumping to conclusions.

    I gaurentee that if it was with anyone else in the family, she wouldnt have asked such a stupid question. Once again tonight Im insulted. I was pretty insulted, I didnt speak too much for the rest of the dinner.

    WTF should I do?
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2008
  2. Hellcat

    Hellcat New Member

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    I dunno, your sister sounds pretty overprotective of her child around you, and I think not only is that damaging your relationship with your sister, but it's also affecting the relationship with your niece. It almost sounds like she's realized that she can push her mom's buttons, per se, and get you in trouble with her.

    I know your niece may be a sweetheart, but many kids have conflicts with their parents where they like to push them. I am not sure if you are in the middle of this somehow, or if it's something completely different.

    The level of distrust your sister has is, imo, unreasonable. She is treating you like you're not even a family member, but more like a random stranger.


    I am not sure if there's much you can do here besides try talking to your sister as an adult...but it doesn't sound like she will listen to you. Do you have any other family members that think what she accuses you of is unwarranted? If so, maybe you can have them help you talk with her. I dunno...good luck with the situation though.
     
  3. Bailey

    Bailey OT Supporter

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    "Ill keep it brief as possible."

    edit: :rofl: i just read the first example. dude that is terrible i can't believe how awkward that must be. i don't know much about kids so i can't offer any advice but i know the old saying "kids say the darndest things." anyway i guess you'll be getting pm's from Tomash soon
     
  4. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    That totally sucks. I hate the feeling of being accused for things you haven't even done, or having someone doubt you.

    Well one thing is pretty obvious like hellcat said.. your sister is really overprotective.
    So the problem isn't with you, so I wouldn't blame myself for anything.
    And your niece is definitely at that age, she's learning/observing, but she's also being a big brat.

    I just got a niece too. She's 5 weeks old now, and her mom (my sister-n-law) doesn't let me near her while she's sleeping bc she knows I'll wake her up.
    I just wanna play with her jeez :rolleyes:
     
  5. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Yes she is overprotective of her child, and I cant blame her, just about every parent is. My niece gets extremely clingy to her mother when shes with her - no matter who else is with them. I do know for a fact that my niece reports just about everything back to her mother, which I know is common but she has a very good memory so she gets all the exact details down to a pat.

    I guess only time will tell.

    Exactly how I feel! Im so insulted a lot of the things shes said and asked me. I honestly am still in disbelief. I know she would never ask such retarded questions to anyone else in the family.

    Considering how 90% of the time when she talks to me (about anything, general chit chat, whatever) she treats me like im a mentally challenged I dont even wanna try this. I know it wont do anything but cause more unneccesary stress.

    Not gonna happen. All my other sisters im much more distant from (relationship/bonding wise) than this one and my parents wont even understand where im coming from on this.

    Honestly though? I think for now im just not gonna touch any of my nieces toys - whether mom is around or not because it will just cause mom to bitch me out about it and Ive fed up with it. Seriously this is complete bullshit. I aint laying another hand on any of her toys. Books sure, ill continue to read em to her, but toys no. I think (and hopefully) over time my sister will get the message, she will eventually pick up on my changed behaviour and probably wonder why im not going near any of her daughters toys anymore. She doesnt need to ask why, she will know. Since she seems to be making it such an issue of me so called "teasing her" then wtf else am I suppose to do? I have no fuckin options but to back off and alter the way I play with my niece. Im pretty fuckin upset over this, it is complete fuckin BULLSHIT!!!!
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2008
  6. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Ya mom-daughter relationships within the first 4 or 5 yrs of the child (especially first 2) are bonded together like crazy glue. Most of it factors from the fact the mother is on maternity leave and is the main mentor for the child....at least in terms of how much time they spend with each other.
     
  7. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    are you sure? my niece seems more attached to my brother (her dad) than her mom. and my nephew seems to be super-bonded to the mom.

    that situation seems horrible. i can understand the old sibling, don't trust your little brother thing. but at some point she has to realize you've grown up, and she should see you as an adult. or at least more mature and reliable than her two year old. who honestly sounds spoiled. if every time she whines and points at you, you get scolded...
     
  8. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

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    I am the youngest child of three. As I was growing up I was sort of the "black sheep" of the family. Unfortunately, things I have done in the past have stuck with me. My older sister and brother still at times treat me as if I have not grown into the 35 yr old mature adult I am and treat me as if I am still the "baby" of the family with a tainted past. Now I am a mother of three myself,and have been a nurse for 12 yrs...however, they still treat me as if I am the bratty out-of-control kid I used to be.

    It sounds to me that this is what your sister is doing to you as well.

    As far as example 1...when my kids learned body parts (at age 2 as well)..they would identify every male or female as "penis" or "vagina"...this is very normal to associate body parts to people at this learning stage.

    Playing with her toys , well, that just seems like she is wanting extra attention from mom and she knows that she can use you to get it. Again typical behavior of small children. Just don't touch her toys at all even if she wants you to because she will set you up every time (trust me my daughter was an expert at this).

    My opinion is that you have done some things in you past and you sister is still holding those things against you for whatever reason. All you can do is get your sister alone (without you niece around) and CALMLY try to discuss this with her. She may treat you like a retard, however this will show her that you are mature enough to approach her like an adult and it may help her come around.

    Hopefully this helps...good luck.
     
  9. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'll be honest here....the entire time I was reading that I couldn't help but wonder one thing: WHAT'S THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY?

    There are two sides to every story and you come across with the whole victim mentality very nicely. Drama just seems to follow you everwhere you go, doesn't it?

    I don't mean that to be a dick, but sometimes I can't help but wonder what the other side of the story is with you. :dunno:

    that being said, if you're having such trouble then stop hanging out with the kid so much. Back off. I know that the kid doesn't deserve that and you love her, but seriously, just back off a bit. And have a talk with your sister and and tell her this stuff and how you feel. Don't come at her with the anger that you are posing to us and don't accuse her of anything. You want to convey your confusion not your anger.

    Anger is something else I see in your posts. You seem like someone who is very angry about something but you don't know what, so you're angry at everything. Maybe you should look for an Anger Management group in your area and start attending. It couldn't hurt, right?
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you sure you are 100% innocent? if so then why dont you just tell her im not going to baby sit your kid if you are going to be a cunt to me. I know you like babysitting most likely, so be sure to let her know that you love to babysit while saying this. hopefully she will back off.

    the other thing is I would bet you react shitty when she asks you "Have you said penis aroudn my kid"; you prolly get the "how dare you." attitude instead of the correct answer which is, "It hurts me when you suggest things like that, I've grown up since I was 16 and I wish you could see that" that.'
     
  11. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Ya with my sister I get scolded no matter what. I never do anythin right according to her.
     
  12. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    good points and I agree for the most part. Im not going to talk to her about it, because I think our relationship is a bit too damaged right now from what its been in the past. I think its best to just go about my business and not touch my nieces toys anymore. Hopefully over time my sister will get the message.
     
  13. JakobwithaK

    JakobwithaK Titty fuck for the win!

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    Well the 3 examples I gave, I have no blame nor did I do anythin wrong in them. Like the magic wand part, why would I say such a thing to my niece? I never would. And teasing her with toys? Again why would I? Ive never gotten upset with my sister in regards to any of this, I always just keep it inside and stay calm and ignore it. I know it may sound like I yell and scream at her but I dont.
     
  14. awns729

    awns729 New Member

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    You have to somehow 'prove' to her that she can trust you with her daughter, as shitty as that is. And also, maybe, give some space to the whole situation.
     

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