SRS Am I a hypocrite?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Epicman, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2001
    Messages:
    38,736
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Europe
    This is in regards to this thread. http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2581508

    Basically I have a friend that is abusing drugs. On occasion I'll do coke or like last night roll. When I say on occasion I mean very rarely. The last time I did coke was back in January and other than last night the only other time I've rolled was well over a year ago. So my question is, Am I a hypocrite for telling her that she has a problem and should find help? I think in a small part yes but not in the big picture. I only use recreationally and rarely where as she uses constantly and to cover up pain.
     
  2. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Messages:
    2,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tough call.

    If you hadn't "thrown in the towel" and were still actively counseling her I would say yes.
     
  3. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2001
    Messages:
    38,736
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Europe
    How come? Like I told her when she tried to throw it in my face, "The difference here is that you are using constantly to cover up whatever is eating you up inside while I only use it occasionally for recreational purposes."
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    Yes, I think you are a hypocrite....by definition of the word. But it's ok. :wiggle:

    However, I think one reason you feel so strongly about helping her is due to your own issues (or fears) about your drug use. This my be conscious or unconscious.

    It sounds like you KNOW you can handle drug use and can stop at anytime but you don't think she can do the same. I don't know either of you so I have no idea if you are an addict or not. Even if I did know you...I wouldn't "pronounce" you addict or alcoholic...that's a decision only the aflicted can make.

    However, the fact that you felt soooo strongly about helping her get clean, then when she resisted you "threw in the towell" seems to indicate that you think you have some sort of power over drugs and alcohol. YOu don't....neither do I. And this has NOTHING to do with how much you use or don't use. Drugs and alcohol are bigger then everyone and you take a risk of becomming an addict everytime you use them.

    There is a saying, "The chains of addiction are too soft to feel until they are too strong to be broken." That saying was sooo true in my life.....I thought I could stop at any time....till I tried and I couldn't.

    In my years of recovery, I've found that people that want to rescue someone from a drinking or drug problem are very often addicted themselves. It's almost as if they are saying, "If I can just get this person clean and sober then I'll be ok".

    Remember, in the other thread I said what makes me an alcoholic is NOT how much I drink or when I drink. It's the fact that alcohol affects me differently then non-alcoholics. The same applies to drug addiction. That means, it doesn't matter if one does it occasionaly....if they are an addict or alcoholic, even occasional use is not recommended because the "occasions" usually become more and more frequent.
     
  5. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2001
    Messages:
    38,736
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Europe

    I don't think that's why I was trying to help her. I was trying to help her because she was a friend and I hate to see friends heading down a bad road. As far as my drug useage goes, I smoked pot 3 times in high school...literally, 3 times. Never did anything for me. The first time I did coke was when I was 20, just shy of 21, I'm 23 now and I can count the times I've done coke. As far as E, this was my second time. I'll pretty much do with it the same thing as coke. I do it once every several months. Not like I said there counting out the months but I make sure to give myself plenty of time and only do it when we are celebrating something big. Like last night, my friend just got back from Afghanistan so we had a reason to party.
     
  6. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2001
    Messages:
    38,736
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Europe
    I hope I didn't come off as an asshole. Just saying what I think. I appreciate your advice and if you have anything to say please feel free to do so.
     
  7. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Messages:
    2,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think the fact that you asked the question shows a bit of a guilty conscience or latent fear.

    Personally, I don't think what you did was a big deal. Then again, it took me a long time to admit I was an alcoholic.
     
  8. Do it To it

    Do it To it Only thing I hate more than kids is an empty glass OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2005
    Messages:
    23,485
    Likes Received:
    593
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Like said above, by deffinition of the word, yes, you are a hypocrite....

    In the real view of things, I think you're fine. She is addicted to the stuff, you use it when you get bored, there is a huge difference.
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    You didn't sound like an asshole at all.

    Having spent some time in the program, I have actually come across people that want to rescue someone to avoid dealing with their own addiction issues. This doesn't sound like it applies to you, however given our previous discussions I thought it was important to bring it to your attention. Only you can decide if it applies.

    My short reply was just to let you know I read your post.
     
  10. Epicman

    Epicman Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2001
    Messages:
    38,736
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Europe
    Ok I was just making sure. As always I appreciate the advice from you guys.
     

Share This Page