SRS Am I a bad person?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AstroGirl, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Here's the story. About a year ago I met this girl who was a "friend" of one of my ex boyfriends. Well she was really sweet, a fun person to hang out with. And a good friend. I trusted her and enjoyed spending time with her. A few months after I met her my ex boyfriend decided he did not want to be friends with her anymore (he had known her for years) and he basically wrote her off. I thought it was strange but at the time my motto was, well look at the source. I trusted her more than I trusted him. So I thought good riddens.

    Well, she was having problems with her boyfriend about 6 months or so later, they ended up breaking up and he (her boyfriend) asked her to move out of his house. Well, me, seeing a friend in need. Jumped to the rescue. And though I was completely comfortable staying with my mom (for free) I offered to move out with her since she really had no place to go.
    A month or so before we moved in I just got a really bad feeling about it. My three best girlfriends kept telling me not to do it, and that is was a bad idea. But I am stubborn and I did it anyways. So we moved in together. And from day one things started getting rocky.

    Aside from major personality flaws such as being; rude, bossy, abrasive, loud, dirty (really she rarely bathes), selfish, arrogant, nosey, superficial, a slut, manipulative, and irresponsible. She is a pathological liar. I have never met anyone that scares me more than this yotch. She has her BA from Fullerton, went to culinary school, broke wild mustangs for 4 years, grew up in Sweden/ etc.. All of these things that I thought were a little far fetched but who am I to question right? Later, I find out that she never really did any of these things. Her friends did though. She will even tell me stories about her classes at Fullerton, her teachers/ etc. How she misses breaking horses, telling me stories about the people she worked with. And she has NEVER stepped foot on the Fullerton campus, and I doubt she has ever ridden a horse. These thigs are irrelevant but I can’t handle someone looking me in the eye and telling me something that absolutely never happen as if she was telling me the sky was blue.

    So I am fed up. I can’t take it anymore. I avoid going home to a place I pay $750 a month to live in. So I sent her a text Monday morning telling her she needs to be out in a month. She keeps asking why why why. I really don’t want to get into it with her. I don’t see a point in fighting for hours and hours about why exactly I don’t like her. All of the things she did wrong, everthing she did to upset me/ etc. I don’t want to cut her down and hurt her, I just want her to leave. So tomorrow she wants to "talk about it" Basically I already have someone else moving in next month. The end result is going to be the same. I don’t understand what talking about it is going to solve. Does that make me a horrible person? That I can just walk away from her? After she "loved me so much"? Most people know I am not happy with my situation. And when I tell them what I did they act like I am some deamon. They say, well what is she going to do? HOW IS THAT MY RESPONSIBILITY?? I’m not her effin mom, I don;t give a flying fuvk what she does. As long as she doesn’t do it under my roof.

    What should I do?? I haven’t been home all week, and I see her tomorrow.
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You are sparing your own feelings by avoiding confrontation. You should tell her exactly why you can't handle her company anymore. Whether you feel comfortable doing that or not depends on ur spine.
     
  3. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I guess I could tell her. I just don't know what exactly that would accomplish. I do have to tolerate her till Sept 1st. I dont lie, and I cant make things up. I don't know how I would feel if someone sat down looked me in the eye and said she couldn't live with me because... I'd rather someone sat down and said, "Hey things just aren't working out, I'm sorry" But then again that me, and I don't know what outher people would prefer
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Whether she would prefer it or not, she should know.
     
  5. redna

    redna New Member

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    You could have always beat her at her own game by asking her to go horse back riding, or planning a road trip to her "old stomping grounds" (college), etc... But it's too late for that now.. haha. I love doing that to liars.
     
  6. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I think you should at least tell her why..but not too early. Might cause friction.
     
  7. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    LOL, that would be funny. I have spoken to her extensively about psychology and different research and theories. She basically just sits and listens, strange that she has her BA in it yet can't discuss my "Intro to Psyc" class with me :)

    I'm just REALLY not a confrontational person. But I can be if I need to be. I am curious if in this situation I need to be. Or if letting it go would really be the best thing to do. . .
     
  8. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    When then? I have till Sept 1st (ish) but she wants to "talk about it" tomorrow. I already told her I am not going to fight with her, and bring more drama into out house. I said, "I am not going to rip you apart or try to hurt you. I am just done."
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Good, don't rip her apart, and don't try to hurt her. Simply explain to her why you made this decision.
     
  10. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Are you a bad person for wanting her out? No.
    Should you tell her why? Yes. It's not fair to tell someone to GTFO without giving them a reason. You can tell her something to the effect of you'd rather have a cleaner and more honest person as a roommate. You can also tell her that you have been made aware of her lies etc. Perhaps, if it's not too late, this would be a good lesson to her about where lies get you.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You know this is true. It's not fair ... though it may be easier for you.
     
  12. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    So, tell her why. Yes. Let the floodgates loose on absolutely everything, No. Got it. I'm gonna need flashcards. . .
     
  13. bangbanger

    bangbanger Welcome To Banger Country.

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    You might want to have someone else there when you do that, because people that have things to hide can get some what violent from what I have seen.
     
  14. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    I don't know about "letting the floodgates loose."

    Think about the times someone has told you things you didn't want to hear about yourself. I'm sure people have used good approaches and bad approaches. Mimic the behaviors that people use when they are most effective confronting you with facts that are difficult for you to bear.
     
  15. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    I don't know about "letting the floodgates loose."

    Think about the times someone has told you things you didn't want to hear about yourself. I'm sure people have used good approaches and bad approaches. Mimic the behaviors that people use when they are most effective confronting you with facts that are difficult for you to bear.

    Only discuss a few main things, you don't need to go over your whole history.
     
  16. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Read her post again, she says Yes to the first but No to the second :)
     

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