always tired

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by low20, Jun 10, 2006.

  1. low20

    low20 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    0
    ah ive been getting a bit frustrated with my GF latley. Weve been going out for a year and a half, mor ethan that actually...when we started going out we were both virgins at 21, after 3 months we lost it to eachother, but we rarely had sex. she didnt want it to become the focus. we would do everything else tho, oral, and lots of messing around, just not penetration, no anal....so i was fine with that and unerstood it, then we were on and off with it, wed go a month or 2 having sex but rarely, then wed stop, is been confusing i guess, i just want it all the time, im a guy what can i say...so anyway weve been off for a few months now and i want to start again, but even if we dont, i feel like any physical stuff is far and few between. we do stuff atleast 1x a week, maybe 2, hardly ever 3. usually 1-2. for me, i can do it everyday and want to, but she is always too tired. so i asked her about it the other day, casually, not trying to start a fight or anything....i can undedrstand that shes tired, she usually has to wake up early (shes nt a morning person) and then she works long days, varys between 9-12-14 hrs sometimes, and shes always on her feet, never gets to sit down. so i can see that she would be tired...so when she gets home, she wants to lay on the couch an relax and watch tv, but to me that get really old. i asked her why she always says shes tied and she says that physical stuff after work is just like more work, cuz u have to move around etc...to me, it would be worth it, and believe me, i have to work for it if i want it, back rubs, leg rubs, etc, then i do a ton to please her...i justfeel like it shouldnt be associated with work, and that we should be able to compramise at like 2x or 3x a week, but i feel like she doesnt want to talk about it....

    is there really anything i can do? i feel as tho there isnt anything but try to talk to her again about it and get no where...ugg. i also tink that once we hit the 2 times in one week, she thinks that thats good enough and then wonk make any effort the rest of the week...oh and she NEVER initiates it, NEVER, i always have to initiate it and it take like an hour before i can een get close.
     
  2. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    damn that is a tuff situation there. If i were you i would wait until she wants it,then tell her your tired. Sooner or later if u keep denying her,she might want it more and let you guys do more stuff more often. Either that or she has a low sex drive,tired or not most people seem ready to go when it comes to sexual stuff.
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,501
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do you really think this will get better over time? Find a new girlfriend. Sex should never be a bargaining chit, and you shound never have to 'pay for it' before or after.
     
  4. low20

    low20 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2003
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    0
    i do think it will get better....very soon her hrs will be cut down siginificantly, and i think things will return to the way they were before she started working like crazy...i also think talking to her about it will keep her aware and maybe push it a little more than usual. but playing head games like telling her im tired is just stupid...were not in HS, besides if i did that i dont think she would care and then id go for like a month without anything
     
  5. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,501
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hint: Women are just as horny as men, or moreso. If she is withholding sex you are fucking up somewhere, likely you aren't displaying enough masculinity to turn her on. You are wasting your time by talking about it. Women do not communicate with words, they communicate through actions. You can SAY whatever you want, but she needs you to DEMONSTRATE.

    I know this sounds like greek to you, but dude, you are way beyond AFC. Find mASF and learn what the matrix is.
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    right there. she sees sex as a chore, not an enjoyable pastime activity.

    as said, you need to demonstrate stuff. actions not words. girls are often turned on more by the emotional romance element of the relationship, and that needs to be going on all day, not just in the 5 min of foreplay. its not enough to just turn her on when you get turned on, you have to turn her on constantaly throughout the day, almost every day.

    is she getting off during sex? is it comfortable? is she overwieght? whats the living situation? where do you have sex? do you enjoy each others company when not having sex?
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Here's my question: do you enjoy the stuff you do to turn her on? (backrubs and the like, as you said.) It sounds like you don't; it sounds like you see it as work you have to do to earn sex from her. That pretty much mirrors the way she sees sex as work she has to do to repay you for your attention.

    I'd love to give a girl a backrub right now, and she'd know it from the way I'd do it. I'd spend an hour on it and be glad for the opportunity. Consider that you're in a nice position, since you have a girl who lets you touch her like that. Take advantage of it; sex isn't the only physical intimacy to be had.
     

Share This Page