SRS Almost randomly asked for a divorce today...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by CappyStyles, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. CappyStyles

    CappyStyles New Member

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    While I was visiting the wife at her job to try and cheer her up. I mentioned something about getting some money that her parents owe us back, and she said "let's talk about it later", which means it's going to be a total shitstorm and cause way more trouble than the money is worth...and I just almost kicked her out. Like. "Ok. We're done. Thanks for playing."

    I mean, I love the chick, and there is no single large issue (lots of small-medium stuff that I'd say is normal, like her being expensive, not a perfect sex life, ect) or reason for it. When I think about it, and all the hurt and issues it would cause, it's never worth it, and it's just one more thing I need to suck up and 'work through'....but if she could just instantly dissapear, with all her stuff, half my money, and I'd never haveto see or hear from her again? It's alot more tempting. Just scary to think of being alone, and having to fight over 'custody' of our dog, which neither one of us would ever agree to give up.

    No kids, 2.5yrs married, 10+ yrs dating.

    /rant :hsugh:
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    How much money are we talking a few hundred or a few thousand or more
     
  3. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    If it's a loan, do not feel bad asking for the money back.
     
  4. saabguy

    saabguy Active Member

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    so is it always a battle, or are there actually times you enjoy being together?
     
  5. GuiltySparc

    GuiltySparc OT Supporter

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    All of those 'little things' you mentioned arent really little if they are causing a significant degree of turmoil to build up just under the surface. You have to communicate with each other about those things and resolve them or they will only get worse.
     
  6. CappyStyles

    CappyStyles New Member

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    It's 100$. That she gave us for Christmas. Her check 'semi-bounced' becuase her and her family are Canadian...so when the bank did the currency exchange it couldn't handle our baller USD. I didn't even ask for the money. I said "You can tell your mom not to worry about that 100$ she gave us. Just have her hold it and we can put it toward your bridesmaid dress when we go home for your sisters wedding." Which I'll be paying the plane tickets for. And for her dress. And for her gifts. And Social Money. And every other thing.

    Some guys at work told me we should open a seperate bank account, so when I do finally flip out, it will be easier....but she could not survive for a day without me. Her paychecks don't even cover her tuition. Or food. Let alone coming close to Tuition+food+gas+spending money+ect. And shes going to go fucking nuts on me over this 100$ that she just wants to give back. Becuase nothing is ever good enough when it comes to her family.

    She makes 10$ an hour and works 30 hours a week. 20yrs old. Halfway done with her first college class. I'm making 40$, have school through a Masters paid for with zero debt. I just 'loved' her while we both grew up. But reality is getting old these days.
     
  7. saabguy

    saabguy Active Member

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    you've been dating since she was 10?
     
  8. Toxicity

    Toxicity New Member

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    Wait a second, youve been married to her since she was 17.5, have dated her since she was 10, you expect her to be responsible and you are older and have a masters degree... wiat.. wat?
     
  9. CappyStyles

    CappyStyles New Member

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    Since 11 or so, off and on. Married her 7 days after she turned 18. Sounds like I would expect a disaster...but I'm hardly older. I started college around 15 and enlisted in the Army on my 17th birthday. Just did alot of stuff quickly / had life suck for awhile to get ahead of the game. So it looks alot more unbalanced on paper than it is as far as me being 'older'. :noes:
     
  10. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    If its between her and her parents, let it go and let her handle it. :dunno:

    Females often lack logic in my experience. $100 now or $100 later, it shouldn't matter when it's family.
     
  11. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    her working that many hours while taking courses shows some responsibility. that being said, why don't you cut off the spending money and have her make her lunches instead of paying a restaurant for them?
     
  12. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    I don't understand the situation very well here. What exactly would she be throwing a "shitstorm" about?
     
  13. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    you almost asked for a divorce over $100?

    give her the dog and tell her you're leaving and she'll get papers from a lawyer in the mail.
     
  14. GuiltySparc

    GuiltySparc OT Supporter

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    wait, all this over a $100 gift that you didnt receive? Not money that you loaned out?
     
  15. CappyStyles

    CappyStyles New Member

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    Correct. It's not the 100$ mang. It's just the attitude. The constant sense of something not being right regardless of how good I treat her or the thousands of attempts we make to 'communicate' and be a happy couple. It's just like, that extra bit of bitchy attitude that turns you from 'bad day' to 'stalking between cubicles with a pneumatic assault weapon'.

    Today it just snuck up on me. I almost just went for it. Thats all.
     
  16. The Great Deceiver

    The Great Deceiver 21st Century Schizoid Man

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    Maybe you should try being seperated at first?
     
  17. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    have you considered not treating her so well? IOW, busting her down a couple pegs?
     
  18. CappyStyles

    CappyStyles New Member

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    Maybe. It's never been that serious. It's like I'm ok with the thought of some time apart, but when it comes down to dealing with all the logisitics and emotional issues, it's just too much work. Also...it would be a big deal.

    I guess that goes without saying...but I would need to buy her plane tickets across the country, give her money to live off while she got a new job, continue paying for her school, deal with all the gossip from our relationship being in trouble, buy her more plane tickets if we get back togather, ect.

    It would almost cost me more to get rid of her on a short-term basis than to get rid of her forever. Or to keep her. I just can't see that after all that work and drama/anger things would get better.

    "have you considered not treating her so well? IOW, busting her down a couple pegs?"

    I don't see this happening either. Like what? Not letting her buy food with our money? If I forced her to use her check for everything, she would just quit school, or at least drop one class in order to afford basic things. It's not like she spends thousands of dollars on silly things. Shes not 'bad' with money - she just knows nothing about it. Shes just tottaly illogical when it comes to her family. She manages to feel sad and complain enough without me yelling at her. Its like I said. Theres not one big thing that deserves a divorce, or a seperation. She's not a bad person. The relationship just makes me tired.

    I know we're not both the happiest, so I'm always spending energy worrying about things, and what would happen if we do break up, and how to make things better, and how to not loose everything I have when she decides she deserves it all for being with me. It's alot of energy, and I'm just tired. And I think thats why I almost just said fuck it.
     
  19. TCMS

    TCMS OT Supporter

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    Wait... You think being with someone between the ages off 11-15 makes it DATING? Jesus fucking christ.
     
  20. BoogieKnight

    BoogieKnight Active Member

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    Sounds like the real problem isn't the money. It may be just a catalyst.

    The problem is that both of you haven't gotten a chance to experience the single/dating scene. How do you really know that she is "the one" for you when you haven't dated anybody else?

    Divorce might be a good option for the both of you in the long run.
     
  21. ItsStockOfficer

    ItsStockOfficer Active Member

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    Leave her. It is time. Do you really want to be with her for the next 60 years? Do you know how fun sex with a new person is?
     
  22. saabguy

    saabguy Active Member

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    Maybe work out a budget together and see if you can both stick with it? It sounds like she works hard, just doesn't understand the financial part of it.
     
  23. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    it's just a definition, but why not ?
     
  24. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    I understand this is a matter of opinion, but it's still retarded to think that.
     
  25. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    I can't believe the advice OT gives on such serious matter :rofl:
     

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