SRS All knowing civicmon has a girl problem and needs advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by civicmon, Feb 8, 2005.

  1. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    usually as the one giving advice, i am in need of recieving some.

    So I met this girl in line at the parking office at school, we talked since we were poli sci majors and she was new to the school. So... I helped her crash a class, and she started saving seats for me etc.

    fastfoward to today... she has a boyfriend, but the thing is, she's not content with him. We talked for hours today and clicked well. She enjoyed my travel stories and I enjoyed talking to her about growing up as a chinese girl in Mexico (no joke).

    She said she wanted to break up with him a year ago she said, but he was her 'first everything' and has some sort of loyalty. She admitted she never loved him or anything either.

    I really like this girl and I think she likes me a lot but is stuck in a shitty relationship.. what should I do? I'm stuck :hsd:
     
  2. ChrisDC2

    ChrisDC2 Smooth

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    See her as a friend, not a potential...this doesn't mean to give up....don't get your emotions in the way.
     
  3. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    lets called the bolded section a 'growing problem'
     
  4. Wolf

    Wolf No one plans to take the path that brings you lowe

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    Off-limits till she dumps him.
     
  5. ChrisDC2

    ChrisDC2 Smooth

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    You're digging yourself a difficult hole to get out of. Distract yourself as much as you can or be like me.....tell her straight up how you feel and say you don't want to see her again.
     
  6. Actions speak louder than words. Here is one option. You can discuss with her what you'd like to see happen. If it doesn't happen within a period you define inside your head as being acceptable you can immediately relegate it to the "actions speak louder than words" category and discontinue seeing her. If she does act, and ends the relationship with her partner - I'd encourage you to date her if that's what you wish to do.

    Whatever time limit you set is arbitrary and only something you keep to yourself, but your commitment to it should be rock hard. It's important to make firm decisions when it comes to situations like these where you can end up wasting a lot of time. You might blow it and you might not - but it's impossible to stand around waiting for the world to come to and force you to be at it's mercy when you could otherwise be exercising your power and going on with your life.
     
  7. Agreed.
     
  8. Why am I unable to see WS6Formula350's post? I know he posted but am unable to see it, and he's not on my ignore list.
     
  9. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I don't see them either MB.

    thanks for the advice... stuff to ponder. I gotta call her for a study meeting anyways.
     
  10. Welcome.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Is her relationship really something she's "stuck" in? Who's keeping her there? ...exactly...

    I would continue as you are, familiar and available, and make no rash moves for now. See where SHE leads this relationship. Take your cues from that.

    Remember you don't want to be merely the next vine she swings to in the jungle of love...

    Leave an appropriate gap if she does break off with him. It's the moral thing to do, it's the ethical thing to do, and it's the healthiest thing to do (for your own personal emotional health, if not hers).
     
  12. interpol

    interpol you can't spell basement without semen

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    I was in this situation. Though the times when I was with her, her boyfriend was there and he was also my friend. This made things a little more complex than your current situation I think but yeah.. Just kept doing what I was doing and she dropped him and we had a go. It all fucked up after a few months, but he doesn't seem to care really..
     
  13. Synner

    Synner New Member

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    I was stuck like this for a month or two....basically, tell her that you won't be the "other guy," so if she really likes you, she needs to be really clear as to how much she likes you, and if she wants to pursue things, he needs to go first.
     
  14. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    id get to be friends with her, if something works out for you two in the future...then great. there is NOTHING like starting a relationship with a girl you are already friends with, its awesome...just dont get in the zone.
     
  15. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    ok I got some developments here...

    she broke up with her boyfriend on thursday. She didn't want to get into it but I'm sure what we talked about that monday helped a little bit.

    She's excited i'm going to Amsterdam on thursday.. so much so she wants to come along. She needs to get her passport tomorrow am though, if she can do that, she'll probably come.

    she said there's this guy who she "thought was cute" but explained she didn't want to get involved with him, and i was making subtle hints that she needs to invite me out when she heads to clubs in Tijuana and shit when she was describing her weekend.
     
  16. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    This is good for you. Spend time with her as you may, and don't hide your feelings, but be a friend and not just some guy after asian nookie. I'm sure you'll do fine. Oh, and if you go to Amsterdam with her, then I think you need to pay the $80 for a half hour threesome with a big fat black woman. Assuming you've never done that before... if so, don't pay for it.
     
  17. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    This thread confused me at first because I thought the username read "civic mom" implying that they own a civic and are a mom. Upon further investigation, the confusion is gone. Thank you once again, Asylum Forum!
     
  18. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    she's not comin to amsterdam with me :wtc: she can't get her passport in time.

    She's a Mexican citizen too, but she doesn't need a visa to the Netherlands (which shocked me).

    Either way, she wanted to hang out today but I was stuck at work and had to go so I couldn't talk longer but I wanted to give an update.
     
  19. jeyur

    jeyur cum fairy OT Supporter

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    hey civicmon. i am in a very similar situation with you. IM me or something and let me know how it goes cause i need advice and want to see how you are doing things too...
     
  20. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    so I took this girl out to a club the other night on her bday :naughty:

    she said she was having fun but I don't buy it... she didn't seem happy but 1. I don't think it was me, 2. I don't think she's the most outgoing person...

    that being said,I want to ask her out.. something just the 2 of us.. movie or something.... I wanna ask it on wednesday... am I rushing or should I just take time?

    I'm confident enough but i'm skurred that if I wait too long she'll blow past me and go onto someone else, something i'm very worried about.... :ugh:

    girls... can't live wit'm, can't live witout'm
     
  21. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Just jump in with both feet. You've already started the dance, keep going.
     
  22. Call her.
     
  23. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Got for it. You will never know until you try. And if she says no, it does not mean she does not like you, it could mean she is just not ready.


    And her looking like she was not having fun at the night club could mean she is thinking about her old sagnificant other, since she has just recently ended a relationship. But, keep trying. Until you are sure their is know need to stop persuing her until she says no.
     

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