SRS Agggggrrrrrr

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by angel_fiire, Jun 5, 2005.

  1. angel_fiire

    angel_fiire ******

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    (I am sorry for my bad spelling)

    ok, so I'm 22, my mom controls my life to an extreme, I have to be home by mid-night, and my job requires me to stay till late and she doesn't understand that, today she threatened me to not allowing me to go to school anymore, she goes through my bank statements, she yells at me for no reason, she still hits me for stupid things, she expects for me to keep the entire house clean ( we are 6 in my house) she calls me every 20 minutes to know were I am at and what I am doing, today she called my boss and asked him if I was really with him, I am not allowed to go out with my BF by myself, she manipulates me with guilt 24/7, and this are a couple of the things she does.
    I know exactelly what I need to do but I'm too scared to do it, I know I gotta get out of here, but my residency papers aren't completed yet, I know that the day I go away she's gonna run after me and try to get me back by making a big seen, I was depresed for a while because of her.
    I am not looking fo anyone here to feel sorry for me, or any advice, I just needed to let this out
     
  2. That's quite a lot to deal with. Living with that type of pressure can't be good for your schooling, wellbeing or relationships. Hope things eventually work out for you.
     
  3. angel_fiire

    angel_fiire ******

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    this is why I've taken the decition of moving out if my house no later than by the end of this year.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I'm not sure your Mom can be reasoned with. I'm sure you've tried already, so therefore your options are limited.

    We could go into lengthy analysis of your early history, hers, the differential treatment of you vs. the other 5 people in the household, but for starters I'll just go with the advice I had last night:

    Buckle down. Finish school. Concentrate. Get EXCELLENT grades. I mean FUCKING EXCELLENT.

    Once you have your gold plated diploma/degree, move out.
    Leave town if you have to.

    Did I mention to get FUCKING EXCELLENT GRADES? Yes, it's that important. Good grades in a worthwhile field will mean you'll have your pick of jobs.

    That's doubly important for you because since your mom is in such an advanced state of dysfunction, you're not really going to be able to rely on them for the usual kind of parental support and help.

    Get a good job. Move out. Move to another city if you have to.

    This shit has got to stop, and the only way it will is by you seizing the reins of power to your own life. I doubt you can reason with your mom.
    Honestly, calling your boss? Absolutely amazing.

    Leave as soon as you can. Study hard. That degree is your passport to freedom. Make it a good one.

    Good luck
     
  5. angel_fiire

    angel_fiire ******

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    Yes, I've tryed many many times to reason with her, and still she complains of the lack of communication we have. I am about to finish school, and I am one of the top students, but grades don't really matter in my field. I am working in my field, but she doesn't understand the amount of effort and time you have to put into it to be able to be succesful. All it is right now is a game of patience and strength. Try to keep her as happy as I can to make my life less stresful, but at the same time I have to keep in mind that it is me first, not her. She already lived her life, she made her own mistakes, I understand the need she has to protect me and keep me from making the same mistakes as she did..... but IT IS MY FREAKING LIFE NOT HERS. she also has no excuse to treatme like that. As I said I am waiting for my legal paper, finish school (4 months), and pay of my car and transfer it under my name.

    Thanks a lot for the advise, but I already know what I have to do. (be strong have patience, talk to a shink, and get the hell out of here)
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Sounds like you have it under control. Just hang in there.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Once you completed your studies, let the lion roar in your heart. Don't even sneak out, tell in front of your mother, and let NOTHING stop you ' i have happy news for you ' , i am going to move out and live on my own. That way your mother will be :Owned: ,and you can go out into your new appartment(which you already arranged) and move out.

    She has no more lawfull authority over you then, and you can stand and go wherever you want.
     
  8. angel_fiire

    angel_fiire ******

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    I am going with the BF, that way I'll have a place to stay for at least a couple of weeks. She's not gonna be very happy about this, she's gonna go crazy. I just wished there were a more pacific way to do it, I hate confrontation, It' s gonna be so hard because she is my mother and I still love her, but I have to do it, I have to be own person.
     
  9. You can love and still dislike her point of view at the same time angel. Do what you think is right, and that's the best you can do. I've hurt people my entire life by doing what I thought was right, imagine if I always did what was wrong?
     
  10. angel_fiire

    angel_fiire ******

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    I know what I have to do, I understand that she only want's what she thinks is right for me, but what she might think is right for me most of the time is totally the oposite from what I need, and from what I think is right, but I need to find out for myself to be able to grow and develop as a person.
    SO thank you to all of you for your imput, and I am sorry if I sound a little rude, but I am not looking for pitty, or any advice. I just needed an outlet, but thank you I apreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2005
  11. Understood, we're here to just listen[read] and be as supportive as you need us to be.
     

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