SRS Age Differences

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Warder60, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. Warder60

    Warder60 New Member

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    My brief story is I met a girl the other evening. Ended up hanging out all evening, and we both had a great time. Found myself thinking about her, so I asked her out on a lunch date. Her response: I don't date younger men. So I "challenged" her on that right away (I said something like: You're acting like you're old, you're not that much older than me). So now we're going for a lunch ----.
    I'm 20, I believe shes 24. At first I thought she was just blowing me off, and ending up still getting lunch was her being "consoling" towards me. My impression was that me not being 21 (/cough "no" /cough alcohol) wasn't the main issue. But I'm also wondering if it isn't a cultural thing? She's from an asian culture but has been in the US for a few years. Being from the US, I've felt that it's more correct for the guy to be older, but not that big of a deal. Is there that much of a difference over-seas in such things?

    So my questions: Girls, does that age difference turn you away? And anyone with non-Western cultural experience, is it more of an issue for them? Any other advice?
     
  2. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    My aunt and uncle are 21 years apart.

    She's younger, but she still respects him. And he respects her even though she could be one of his kids. They got married when she was in her 30's.

    My point is, age never factored into it. And it shouldn't. People should have respect for one another, despite who's older and who's younger.

    I'm 2 months older than my fiance, and I occasionally raz him about it. But in the end, its only 2 months. And if it were more, it still wouldn't matter. If 2 people are really into each other, they won't even notice an age gap.

    There is no right or wrong, unless its illegal. She just sounds like a bitch. :hs:
     
  3. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    I think the younger you are the more age difference will matter. If you are 24 and your g/f is 18 that can be a big deal for a lot of people. Six years is a big difference at that age but when somebody is 52 and 46 it's not really a big deal.
     
  4. Warder60

    Warder60 New Member

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    Well, she may be, but hasn't really come across as one yet. So I'm still hangin around ;) . And don't get me wrong, if age is going to be an issue for her, my interest is gone.

    My step-dad is 10yrs older than my mom. And my step-mom is 1yr older than my dad. (and my dad was 3yrs older than my mom)
    I agree it's not much of an issue, in the US. Especially if it's the guy that's older. It seems kind of "traditional" to me that the guy should be older, if that makes sense.
     
  5. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    Hero is pretty much on the money. 24 to 20 really isn't that big of a deal, but it really depends on the parties involved. I'm 24 and I usually don't go for girls younger than 21. Going to the bar and drinking always makes for a good time, and without that, it's just like...wtf else will we do? Maturity has a bit to do with it too. I need a girl who's not only mature but who is comfortable being goofy and such.

    So anyway, go out to lunch and see where it goes from there. I wouldn't sweat it too much. Be yourself, but prove that you are/can be mature.
     
  6. VashTheStampede

    VashTheStampede New Member

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    I think you guys are looking at this all wrong. I think Warder was right to question the cultural differences. Her being asian and only living in the U.S. for a few years might be what is keeping her from going out. You have to look at the culture she's from in order to make a clear judgement on this, since she may not be playing by the same rules. It may be a common thing for women from where ever she's from to only date older men.
     
  7. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Generally in Asian culture ( and I am guessing that she's from Far East? As in Korea, China or Japan?), it is not common for a girl to go out with a guy that is 4 years younger than her.

    Girls only tend to go out with older guys or a guy who's same age as her.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    20 year old guys aren't very mature so I wouldn't want to date one either.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Depends on the age. I'm 22 and I would never even think to date a guy under 21, especially not if I was 24. When you are at those ages you are at completely different times in your life usually. My current bf dated a girl before me that was 27 while he was 23. It wasn't a huge deal, but even his friends have told me she was just too old for him. However, if you like her then go for it!
     
  10. Warder60

    Warder60 New Member

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    She's from western Asia.

    Going to be something to talk about at lunch I believe.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I once dated a woman 10 years older than me. The age difference was more a problem for me then it was for her. I think it all really depends on the woman.
     
  12. Warder60

    Warder60 New Member

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    Ignoring the below 21 fact for a second. Why do most of you girls not consider younger guys? Do you feel it's even a cultural issue, or do you have other underlying reasons?
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    From what I've seen, it's an age issue. Women in their 20s still have many "ideal" standards and aren't willing to "settle" for less than their ideal. Women in their 30s are more relaxed about dating younger men.

    But I"m a guy so what do I know.
     
  14. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    werd. Its moreso the stages you are at in life atm. It's not impossible, but sometimes it can be tough to negotiate.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    20 and 24 isn't that bad, but like beanolo said, it depends on where you are in life.

    I think big age differences are gross, like if I was dating a girl who was my age (I'm 26), and I found out her last bf was like 40, it would make me think she was weird and had daddy issues and it would be a huge red flag. Not to mention it would gross me out thinking about her kissing/fucking and old dude. But, I know a lot of people in relationships like that that are happy, so cheers to them.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Because they are immature and aren't ready for real relationships. 20 year old guys are usually still in college and living the partying/whoring lifestyle. I want a guy who isn't surrounded by that and who is closer to where I am at in life.
     
  17. 2500

    2500 Guest

    not all guys are like that though. there are 7 years between me and my bf. i'm 25, hes 18. we are honestly one of the happiest couples i've seen. it may be because he had to grow up faster than his friends cuz his dad died and he took on responsability, and i kinda slacked off and started racing cars instead of going to school, so, we meet somewhere around 21, lol. we're both looking for the same thing even though there is a big age difference. but, we look past it, we are what each other wants, we love each other, and don't even care about the age. so, not all age differences at this age are bad. depends on the people.
     
  18. Aradia

    Aradia New Member

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    I can't relate to younger men.
     
  19. Aradia

    Aradia New Member

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    .
     
  20. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Sooo.. you were with him since he was 11? :hsugh:
     
  21. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    No offense, but I know plenty of women who aren't mature either. I know plenty of mid-20's women who still go out and get drunk every night and whore around like there is no tomorrow.
     
  22. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    I think the point there was the age difference, meaning an older guy would be less likely to date a younger woman as well.
     
  23. Warder60

    Warder60 New Member

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    So what I'm seeing is that it's because of a stereotype. So where's the cutoff? Out of college?

    But, I was hoping for more input towards the cultural issues. Anyone else have more experience or advice on asian cultures?
     
  24. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    I'm asian.

    Pretty much 90% of my close friends are asian as well.

    It's not an "asian thing"... as I know Japanese/Korean/Chinese girls who have been in this Country anywhere from 6 months to 10 years.

    It's the same reasoning as midgetized pointed out.
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    It sounds like to me that she is giving you a polite excuse that you're not mature enough for her liking.

    At that young age, you can bet that she dated a 20 year old before, but she was younger. Chances are he - and you as well - may not have been everything she was looking for. So she's set herself a standard as do many people. Why should she put up with a 20 year old guy who she thinks is immature? :dunno:

    The reality, to me, is that she's telling you in plain English that she's going to friendzone you. The more you chase her, the less attractive you will be due to the fact that older and mature men often recognize this and stop wasting their time.

    In addition, I find that many women really DO want an older partner. Guys are not very mature to begin with, so adding years often gives them an equal footing in the relationship. Now in the case where people are the same age, chances are the guy is more mature than most guys his age.

    So what it really boils down to, for me, is this: Are you as mature as she wants you to be? If you don't know what she is REALLY looking for, outside of the obvious disqualifier of age, then maybe she's giving you a hint to go away.
     

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