After 6 months of uncertainty and trying to gather courage, I finally ended it

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dmar, Aug 11, 2007.

  1. Dmar

    Dmar Jump

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    Here's the original post where I was struggling to make the decision, for more background: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3123109

    She was my first girlfriend and we were together almost 2 years. I'm 21 and she's 22. Over time, I gradually started falling out of love with her. Our phone conversations went from 1 1/2 hours down to about 10 minutes (I'd eventually try to keep them as short as possible). I stopped looking forward to her coming to see me on the weekends. We never talked about anything serious, mostly just what we did that day and what we were going to do the next.

    I broke up with her a few hours ago. She claims she was shocked, that she didn't see this coming at all. I don't know how that could be, she had to notice our relationship deteriorating. We had even stopped saying "I love you" to each other the past few months. She said she thought everything was going great, that she thought of me as her best friend. We never had any deep, soul-bearing conversations though.

    She was crying a ton, and I cried for the first time in a good while. She said, "If that's how you feel, then that's how you feel" through tears. I was surprised she didn't fight for us to stay together more. It may have been the shock, and she'll try soon. She seemed to accept it rather quickly. Updating my facebook profile was the last of my concerns, but she removed our relationship less than an hour after I broke up with her, maybe she's turned from sadness to anger.

    I know in time I will probably think that to think this is ridiculous, but I have to say that this has probably been the hardest thing I've ever had to bring myself to do so far in my life.

    I just feel sad right now. We have some good memories together. And I also feel some fear that I'll later think I made the wrong decision, even though rationally I know this was what I needed to do. There's pain from knowing that she won't be coming over to see me anymore, even though I stopped looking forward to seeing her long ago. Before I broke up with her, I was looking forward to being free, anticipating the day I'd finally have the courage to leave her.. Now, I do feel free, but the sadness taints it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2007
  2. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    i know exactly how you feel. hang out with friends, keep yourself occupied so you dont think about it
     
  3. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    You seem to feel bad about hurting someone that you love but you don't talk about it as if you were leaving someone you are in love with. You talk about the sadness of leaving her because of past good times ("We have some good memories together") and also you seem to care about the fact that there won't be someone there telling you that they love you ("There's pain from knowing that she won't be coming over to see me anymore").

    So although you seem to think that your emotions contradict your rationality, I don't think that it's how you really feel. Keep thinking about it man, the things that make you sad aren't what you consciously think they are ! From your post, you seem to have made the right choice.
     
  4. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

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    You did the right thing to end it mate, If your not having fun in a relationship anymore then whats the point...
     
  5. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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  6. Needmorefunds007

    Needmorefunds007 Where do we go from herE?

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    I know this is way out there and you are probably wondering where the F@#$ is this question coming from ... but can you answer it nonetheless.

    How often do you masterbate? I will tell you why i'm asking as soon as you answer the question truthfully i'd hope ... I'm a guy btw, just conducting some research for myself.
     
  7. robwormald

    robwormald New Member

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    what the FUCK?
     
  8. Needmorefunds007

    Needmorefunds007 Where do we go from herE?

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    :hs: :hsugh:

    I know .... But here is what i'm hypothesizing .... The more you :wackit:, the more you objectify woman, the less you think of your S/O, less connection etc. The more you start losing feelings for her. This man fell out of love, I just wanted to see if there is a potential link here. And btw, i'm no tree hugging bible thumper, I :wackit: often myself ...
     
  9. bigDee

    bigDee New Member

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    If he had sex with his lady more often, wouldn't that still be objectifying?
     
  10. Dmar

    Dmar Jump

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    :dunno:

    I only saw her on the weekends...so during the week maybe twice.
     
  11. Dmar

    Dmar Jump

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    I'm feeling great btw. Looking forward to my first completely free weekend in a LONG time. Got a lot of shit I've been putting off that I can't wait to do.
     
  12. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    It sucks, but better to do it now than drag it out for another couple years and just make it worse for the both of you.

    Her immediate acceptance is just a defense mechanism. But this is no longer your problem.... in face it is better this way because at least you don't have a crazy on your hands that stalks you etc...
     
  13. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Its really hard to lose something you've become accustomed to having around, even if you don't really enjoy it anymore.
     

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