SRS Afraid to ask for help

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by PirateCandy, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. PirateCandy

    PirateCandy New Member

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    I have been depressed for a long time now (since I was in the 3rd grade, I'm 23 now) but I've always written it off as Seasonal Affective Disorder. It would usually happen during the winter, so I would just make up for it by getting as much sun as I could during the summer.

    This year I was depressed throughout the summer. I began thinking about suicide about a month ago. I am afraid to ask my mother for help because she makes fun of her immediate relatives who have the same problems. Though she has told me that my dad was suicidal at my age.

    I've told her that I was depressed before, but I'm afraid to tell her about the suicidal thoughts, or to ask her for money for an appointment and medication.

    I'm hoping that letting this out to strangers will help me to get up the nerve to talk to my mom.

    How have other people been able to bring up this subject to their family/friends?
     
  2. Darth_Kelly

    Darth_Kelly Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

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    It's definitely a hard subject to bring up, but I would go to her for help. Hopefully she will be understanding (you are her son, after all) and give you the help you need. I would approach it as, "I have been depressed for awhile, but now I'm starting to even think about suicide, like you said my father did at my age. I really want to get help, so I was wondering if you would help me." Basically, you're pointing out that you realize that you have a problem and that you're coming to her in confidence for her help, which I think is the best approach.
    Also, make sure the timing is right, as she will probably be upset and it probably will take a lot of time of discussion. And, if you don't tell her about it and your problem gets worse, she'll be more hurt by the results and be remorseful that you did not tell her and let her help you.
    Hope that helps :hug:
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Suicide prevention hotlines are free to call. All you need is a phone. If you're not comfortable talking to your mom about such things for whatever reason, talk to someone else. Keep going until you find someone who listens, and that shouldn't take long.

    Whatever you do, DON'T keep bottling it up inside. That's a ticking timebomb - the sooner it's disarmed, the better.
     
  4. PirateCandy

    PirateCandy New Member

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    I've just arranged to have a sit-down talk with a long time friend of mine. It's small, but it's a start.

    I'd better head out before I lose my nerve.

    Thank you.
     
  5. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Maybe she laughs about it because she lacks the coping capacities to seriously deal with this. You're not talking about getting your hair done differently here, it shouldn't be something you have to figure out by yourself. You NEED to see someone regarding this and your mother is your best support during this time, whether she likes it or not. I don't think you like it either but hey, you still have to deal with it.
     
  6. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    Any updates?
    Are you okay now pirate candy :hug:
     
  7. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Yeah man, whether you have a good or bad relationship with your mother, it's still your mother. Use her every chance you get bro, that's what moms are for. Let her know your feelings, thoughts, and worries.. let it all out, don't hold anything back. The only thing more painful then the truth, is the stuff you keep inside.
     
  8. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . I agree. You should definitely let your mom know. If she can't help then you find someone that can. Right now you need help and someone to talk to. You need someone close by. Hope you're doing better by now :hug:
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    This is my take on this, don't make your heart a murder hole, just spit it out all that's been bothering you and write it down in here. Don't even begin to discuss it with your mother, she aint taking you seriously, you don't need people in your life who don't support you, you need people's who's gonna listen to you. So just write it down , all the stuff that's been bothering you, and we'll take out the root of this problem so you can start leading a stable life ,instead of a life filled with chaos.
     
  10. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    My parents don't know I'm depressive/suicidal, but to be honest I haven't been that way in good period of time (2 years). I've always been open to my friends and let them know I've thought about it. I find most of them have, I think most likely everyone at some point in their life will think it. We have free will, so we have to at least logically put that thought into consideration. I haven't told a doctor that I have suicidal thoughts when I'm depressed or even that I get depressed. Maybe it's uneducated, but fuck man made drugs. I don't really believe a pill can cure it, it won't, it's just makes you think it's cured, plus side effects bullshit. It's a good way for companies to make money.

    My dad killed himself when I was 5, so I guess in my case it runs in the family, as does Schizophrenia (my dad had it). So for me to have these thought's I guess make me question my sanity from time to time. What's worked for me is keeping myself occupied by good people.

    If you want to tell your mom, well It's hard to help, because I don't know how she is, or how she would react. If she loves you she will understand 100%. It's not too irrational, in-fact it's logical. Just play it out, I know I would with mine. I'd probably more or less wing it lol.
     
  11. Jake!

    Jake! Guest

    :werd: the asylum is a great place to rant or sort out your thoughts. a lot of times you'll get some great advice too
     
  12. mystika

    mystika New Member

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    hmm why dont you get someone close to you to go along and help you tell your mom you should get a psychiatrist if you are suicidal and this is a serious situation living a life in denial is not the right way to live epecially if it threatens your life
     
  13. PirateCandy

    PirateCandy New Member

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    Oh wow. I had no idea people were still replying to this thread.

    Since I started this, I have asked my mother for permission to see a doctor since I have no insurance and it would be her money covering it all. I got a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, which I think may be incorrect since manic episodes have never been an issue for me, but w/e.

    My mom still doesn't know about the suicidal thoughts, but my doctor does now. I was prescribed Geodon and took it for a week before I decided that the side effects just weren't worth it. I was twitchy and restless ALL the time, and my head was cloudy. For anybody who is on Geodon, DO NOT stop taking this medication cold turkey. It is a very BAD idea as it is very dangerous to do so outside of a hospital environment. I've found medical message boards where people have described this experience as being similar to coming down from heroin. Luckily, I was only on this medication for a week, so I didn't experience as many symptoms as other people who have had withdrawals from it. Mom was surprisingly helpful to me during this time. I don't know how I would have made it through otherwise.

    I have another appointment set up with this doctor on the 25th of this month, and I'm going to tell her in great detail what I went through both on this med and while trying to get off of it. I really wish that I'd been told about side effects other than drowsiness or that I shouldn't have stopped taking it out of the blue like I did. I'm also going to ask her to put me on an antidepressant instead of this anti-psychotic b.s. And now I know to ask her questions about medications she suggests, such as ALL side effects and any and all withdrawal symptoms in case it doesn't work for me.

    If it weren't for the Asylum, I wouldn't have had the guts to make this first step.
     
  14. OTOPIAN

    OTOPIAN New Member

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    We have our ups and downs bra, just try new things for SHORT periods of time until you feel happy and yourself again.
     
  15. SmugDruggler

    SmugDruggler New Member

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    Reading all these, I was really leary of all the advice to rely on your mother for a lot of support in this. In my experience, your best friends (whomever will kick your ass when needed) and your therapist are always the best people to rely on, given that you've chosen a good therapist. You can get good help for not that much money if you talk one-on-one with some of the therapists in your area and don't be afraid to go on word-of-mouth.

    Men have some weird stuff built up in our subconsciouses about mothers and mother does not always know best. In fact, not to plant any false ideas, our relationships with our parents, especially in the formative years, have a HUGE role to play in what our weaknesses (and strengths) are later in life. This sounds obvious, but people seem to forget it often.

    On the NATURE side of the coin, I would be really cautious about any doctor who would prescribe an anti-psychotic right off the bat. Shop around and read up on things here and elsewhere online.

    I hope things are going better for you. Keep your hand on the rudder and be at peace.
     
  16. PirateCandy

    PirateCandy New Member

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    I'm female. My concern with telling her had more to do with her making fun of her siblings who have similar mental problems in front of me. I just didn't want her to laugh at me behind my back because of all this.

    Other than the doctor worries, things are looking up compared to last week.
     
  17. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Ya I couldn't handle that cloudy feeling everyone describes lol. My Aunt dated this guy with lots of mental issues and after he got out of jail he medicated, but whenever you spoke to him or saw him it was like he wasn't there. Like he was, but wasn't if you know what I mean. Funny that sounds exactly like my mom lol... You better not be my sister LOL kidding. I'm sure she won't joke about that though. I think my mom would gossip, but never make a joke out of it.

    Good luck with it, hope you start feeling better. You're alive and kicking, so you're already up over some XD
     

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