SRS Afraid of future amphetamine addiction (ADD)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Spiritus, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    That's right... I am predicting the future and I see that I will definnitly get hooked on this shit unless I do something.

    I already abuse ritalin. I can't help myself... that's the sad part. I have used marijuana, hallucinogens, painkillers and benzos and have had no pychological addiction. But speed is my achilies heel.

    I love the drive it gives me. The feeling inside. The way it allows me to do things without having to think about doing them, and the perfection of the results.

    I love how it makes me think faster and smarter with a mild boost of euphoria. It makes me more productive and creative.

    I have vertified 137 IQ and a mastermind personality, so this drug is a blessing. Ironically I also have several anxiety disorders, depression and ADHD, although the first two are responding well to paxil and ativan.

    I don't see myself stopping because the feeling is so great. I know this will eventually harm me and probally lead me back into the drug culture I left and despise.

    I need help. But I really only see two options here. One is medical that would be Straterra. It's coming to Canada in March 2005. This drug blocks the reputake of adrenaline which naturally helps ADD.

    The other option is seeking for your help. How can I boost my natural drive without the use of these dirty drugs?

    ...

    This is really hard on me. I have seen so much progress in the last year and a half overcoming my problems. And now I find something that is terrific and it's like the last piece of the puzzle in fixing me and becoming a secure person. But then this happens.

    Please suggest anything! Foods, supplements, routines, ideas, critism or anything you can think of! I am desperate.

    I am eating a stone age diet and beginning to work out. But I have always had ADD and I am sure it's one of my chemical imbalances :(
     
  2. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    To think that speed gives you an edge is a lie. Your starting point is to realize the deception. First, you have enough smarts to learn what's before you without speed.
    I know the type of work you want to get into. If you are doing drugs you will get busted and you will be out of work. I worked with a guy who lost a 70k job over methamphetamine. Don't belive the lie.
     
  3. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Are you taking the recommended dosage of ritalin that is prescribed to you and then likening it to your drug abuse involving other substances...

    or are you cutting out lines of ritalin and snorting it to get high or something?
     
  4. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    or tripling the doage daily so get you wired up?
     
  5. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Every time I see this picture, I think of the friends I've lost to meth.

    [​IMG]

    I can understand how you could love and hate meth at the same time. You feel great using it...., but in the end, arent you just convincing yourself its the meth that makes you feel good, when really its the not having it that makes you feel bad?

    You have to cut that junk out of your life. You have to!!! There's not maybes, or "doing it tomorrow" Do it now. Do whatever it takes. You wont have that IQ for much longer if you dont stop. :noes:

    Im not going to pretend i know a thing about ADD, so im hoping someone else will step in and offer advice regarding that.
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    From what you described, it doesn't sound like you have ADHD at all. People with ADHD who take ritalin have their thoughts slowed and creativity limited. They also don't like taking it but it helps them with their motivation. If you actually do have these feelings on this drug, you are definately on your way to addiction. In a way, you're already addicted.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I'm sure I've seen that sequence before.

    She looks pretty good in #2 actually, like there's still a light in those eyes. That light gets switched off by #5 though, and the second row is a like a casting call for Dawn of the Dead Pt 2.
     
  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I'm still not even clear on whether he is abusing ritalin, or just considers his medication abuse because of his other drug use and because its "speed?"
     
  9. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    ^

    Amphetamine or methamphetamine of any kind = NO!
     
  10. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I noticed that, too. Although, even the third picture is so noticable different...
     
  11. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Actually, thats utter bullshit. Did it occur to you that just maybe he's been self medicating with all these other drugs to treat his attention deficit? Pharmaceutical stimulants can be life savers for people that abuse drugs in order to treat their ADHD. Besides, we're talking about methylphenidate, not methamphetamine. Even still, Adderall is dextro and levo-amphetamine, and its a great drug for people with severe ADHD.

    He's obviously got a history of drug abuse. But he didn't clearly state whether he is actually abusing his ADHD meds... or if he just thinks like you: all speed is poison. Which is bullshit, btw. Doctors aren't in the habit of giving out poison to kids.

    If he is unable to control his abuse of his medication, then straterra and/or welbutrin are alternatives. They have Welbutrin in Canada, don't they?
     
  12. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Dave - you are absoloutely right. I know it's a bad idea. That's probally the one thing preventing me from indulging in it. Right now it's only a bad habit that strikes from time to time...

    Peyomp - It is for my ADD. I have no other substance abuse habits because I quit all other drugs. But then this came into my life and this happens. I could just quit getting it but my ADD is really bad and it will be 2 months before Strattera comes to Canada. In response to your second post I am abusing it because I love the feeling it gives me.

    Civicmon - thats about right.

    Katt - Yeah I've seen another picture like that and it's pretty horrific. I don't see myself going down that paticular road, but I can see myself using it. And that's bad enough. I would like to cut it totally out but then I have nothing for my ADD. My ADD is really that bad... I could be thinking about anything and WHAM I totally switch my focus to something else. :(

    Confucious - I do have ADD. People tend to associate ADD with an image of a hyperactive child running up and down the aisles of an airplane. It's not nessasarily like that. ADD can actually make you less attentive and unmotivated to the point where you are less energetic then the average person. It can actually be as bad as depression in a way. I am not addicted yet, it's just a bad habit.

    Peyomp - In response to your third post you are right, amphetamines are invaluble in ADD treatment.

    I do use ritalin normally too, and it does work. But I know what it's like to use it the 'bad' way and I love it. I will be switching to Strattera the day it comes out in Canada, and in effect I will be cancelling my script to Ritalin. If it works, then I will permanetly quit.

    Wellbutrin, yes we do have it. I never thought of that actually, I'll have to read up on it.

    ---

    Thanks for all your responses. Over some recollection I now think that maybe this isn't as bad as I thought. I probally won't get into the harder forms of speed...
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    To ADDers, looking at a teacher means to be attentive, yet what the teacher says does not enter their minds because they're thinking of something else or trying to hard to listen. Plus they can also hyperfocus when they're interested in a subject. If this doesn't sound like you, you don't have ADD and medication can definately be physically addictive.
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Okay, so to sum it up: stimulant medication helps you, but you take too much of it in order to get high. Yeah, lookup welbutrin. Its pretty effective. A friend of mine went to that and straterra for a while, and he liked it alot.
     
  15. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Spiritus, all of us have a lie to which we are susceptible. That lie will take us down.
    Methamphetamine is your lie. If need be, get into a 12 step program.
     
  16. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Dave, I think maybe you're confused. He doesn't do methamphetamine. He is prescribed Ritalin (methylphenidate) for ADHD, and he takes too much. Because he has a history of drug abuse, Ritalin isn't a good medication for him to take. It is time to go off of abusable stimulants and onto one of the alternative (like Straterra, and Welbutrin) treatments. A 12 step for an addiction he doesn't even have is a bit much.
     
  17. katt_85

    katt_85 OT Supporter

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    Oh, Peyomp , calm down . :rolleyes:


    Did it ever occur to you that the title of this post clearly says "amphetamine addiction?"


    When i said "Amphetamine or methamphetamine of any kind = NO!" I was refering to recreational uses, and the abuse of it. Using substances for the buzz you get from it, and not for the properties it has that can correct certain problems. When it stops being about treatment, then its a problem.

    Thats what my statement was getting at.

    There IS a difference between drug use and drug abuse. Sorry if i didnt make that clear to you. I suppose I should have elaborated on that before some guy on this forum with no AV got all upitty and jumped down my throat.
     
  18. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I'm not jumping down your throat. But why call the guy a speed freak and deal with him as that if he's not? He is telling us that he's abusing his ritalin and he's afraid it will escalate... but he stopped abusing all other drugs already. He just needs an alternative, since speed isn't for him... the main one of which is Welbutrin.

    At the point you posted, I honestly wasn't sure whether he was abusing his ritalin, or if he was just overwhelmed with anti-drug feelings and considered his daily dosage abuse. The truth is somewhere in between. Didn't mean to jump down your throat.
     
  19. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Dude... Amphetamine psychosis for 7 months and it took a year to recover from? No. No doctor gave you that diagnosis. Thats all self applied, man.

    Amphetamine psychosis is where you don't sleep for days or even weeks and your shoes stop fitting cause your blood pools in your feet, and you begin to demonstrate symptoms of schizophrenia... it goes away when you come off. That being said, giving amphetamine to a schizophrenic or person in a manic state is like pouring gasoline on a fire.
     
  20. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    If you are really smart you don't use drugs.

    I know your brains melt away, and IQ tests are of equal value of a piece of toilet paper.

    http://www.rand.org/publications/randreview/issues/rr.12.00/Images/rr.brain.gif

    What is a natural booster of coping with your life. Well getting enough sleep is one of them, for the rest it's just a lot of hard work. You see you are only able to stay of drugs, if you don't touch it in the first place. In realilty it all boils down to that you are the one who has to fight all the problems you have in life. Everything else is just illussion or lies. Drugs,alcohol,tabacco they only suppres the symptoms of your problems, but they don't resovle them. Problems are like puzzles which you have to solve, if you want to know anything, then it's that when you wake up after your drug usage, the problem lies still there in front of you in the form of a puzzle. It is vital that you get enough coping resources to deal with these problems. Exersising working out, reading reading reading, do things that are constructive, do not use destructive drugs, you have to build off your addiction and start living in the real world which is full of problems which you have to destroy in order to become happy. You have to earn what you receive in life, happyness is one of them ,which you can get by a loving interaction with other people. A drug clinic would be a first step in the good direction, getting professional help and guidance and all the love you can get to help you thru this horrible thing called drugs.

    -clif- problem solving, not problem suppressing.
     
  21. Myst

    Myst New Member

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    Please get help.
    My exhusband (ex because of the meth addiction, he sold everything we owned) fell into that trap. In a few short years he has gone to living in a car with his now girlfriend (they've had 2 children taken from them by Social Services.) Several of our old friends have died from use (overdose, or severe neglect & illness).
    I never liked the shit, and I grabbed my kids & left, started over in a new city.
    My brother is a recovering meth addict. He's been clean 7 months, there is hope. He had to move to get away from the using friends & environment, but he's doing really well.
    Believe in yourself.
     
  22. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Methylphenidate is not hard to kick. Especially if you transition to something like... Welbutrin, which is sort of the same thing but not abuseable. It will make him more attentive, and then he won't need the methylphenidate.
     
  23. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Okay I would like to start off by saying I am sorry - I really did overhype my first post. I am afraid of addiction to these substances but they are hard to obtain due to money and connections just not being there.

    My real problem is my abuse of ritalin, and use of ephedrine. These are stimulants that give me the boost that motivates me to produce. Whenever I use these drugs I am doing something good for myself. It's kind of a win-win-lose situation, I am high, I am productive, but drugs are bad for my health. ;P

    Thanks to everyone for your replies, they are really invaluble.

    Confucious -

    "To ADDers, looking at a teacher means to be attentive, yet what the teacher says does not enter their minds because they're thinking of something else or trying to hard to listen. Plus they can also hyperfocus when they're interested in a subject. If this doesn't sound like you, you don't have ADD and medication can definately be physically addictive."

    Wow, I am amazed at how well you put that. You are %100 abso-fucking-loutely correct.

    I am horrible at Math. Have been since grade 9. So bad at it, that my teacher thought I had a learning disability. The thing is, I cannot focus on things I don't want to learn.

    But biology and other sciences? The combined superfocus of anxiety and ADD allows me to draw in every little peice of information. I can credit my IQ to this.

    I actually consider my conditions bennificial in some ways. I would not want to give up my superfocus because it allows me to sit and absorb knowlage. I am an 18 year old, but if you sat down and listened to me talk about brain chemistry, drugs, hydroponics, self suffienciency, survival, science, or anything I am interested in... you would be shocked.

    I would like to carry this on to college and university. Since I'll be picking courses I'm interested in, I suspect I'll be doing extreamly well.

    ---

    Peyomp - While I abuse this medication, I will not be switching off it until Strattera comes around. The damage potential of this habit is minimal.

    Consider this. I only get 14, 20mg tablets every two weeks. The dose I prefer is 80mg. That means I can only abuse ritalin 3.5 times in a two week period. And I do take it for ADD so I really only use it about once a week.

    Considering the fact that Strattera will be coming out in a month and a half... and that I will be quitting the day it comes out... I think I will be okay until then.

    Dave - It's not meth-amphetamine. In order to get that, I would have to deal with people I don't know and don't paticularly want to risk being around.

    Amphetamines are more in my grasp, but I don't have the money for them.

    I am stuck with Ritalin. And considering how little I use it, it should not be a problem to continue until Stattera comes out. Then I'm done with Ritalin for good. I know I made myself sound desperate before but I must admit I was quite high when I wrote that post and shouldn't have posted. I will refrain from even coming to OT when high from now on.

    Katt 85 - I haven't use amp or meth yet. My fear was if I could obtain it, I deffinitly would. Money however will keep me from becoming addicted. Have you had friends addicted to meth and amphetamine? Horror stories would definnitly be valueble to me.

    Peyomp's other post - I am abusing it. I am crushing the pills into a fine powder, neatly putting them in lines and snorting them back. I should have made this clear. This happens about once a week when I am bored and want to draw up plans for 'stuff' or learn.

    Manitou - I won't be in that deep. I have experianced pychosis several times. Once from mushrooms, twice from a high fever, once from an accidently OD on Paxil, and each experiance was unique.

    The mushrooms effected me the worse. It was a delerium\deja vu combined. It really drove me away from drugs and made me think hard and long about my life. It also really changed the way I think about the world. But I didn't let it take me down.

    Dark Eternal - I don't think that is true. Drugs have\are being used by smart people. I don't want to go digging for celebrities and famous scientists that used drugs frequently, but you get the point.

    Some drugs hurt your brain. Ecstacy may drain your seratotin and possibly cause damage. It's hard to say since studies on the drugs are banned. Either way I have never taken a substance that even had the slightest chance of physically harming my brain, and never will.

    Anyways, putting that aside, I totally agree with what you said. Drugs do mask your problems. My uncle who suffered from bi-polar masked it with marijuana and alcohol abuse for years. He gave it up and got help, and now he is doing great!

    I am working on changing my diet, sleeping habits, exersize habits right now, one step at a time. I am cleaning an area away to work out tommorow, getting to bed at a decent hour and eating more fruits and vegs. My new years reso was to do this and I realize it actually works. Combined with my meds, I see a complete cured me in the future.

    As I progress I right down what helped me and I know this stuff will help others. In fact, right after this post I intend on editting my sticky to put in some real helpful stuff.

    Myst - My condolences. I have friends who are really going down the same path. It sucks, I only moved here a year and a half ago and I have to let go of a lot of my new friends. I just can't be around them... not just because they are starting to steal from me... but because I don't want to watch them fall. :(

    I will not go down that road, and I will not let anyone I love go down that road either.

    Peyomp - in response to your latest post, you said wellbutrin is not abusable. I have heard of fellas popping them back because they were feeling depressed, and I also hear that drug stimulates dopamine...

    I don't get depressed so that's not a problem. But if it makes me more attentive and feel good... I will probally be popping them like candy.

    I use ritalin in school for valueble classes. This leaves me with 2 abuse sessions every 2 weeks. Do you think I should change next time I see my shrink? I'm gonna do some more reading on this stuff... thanks for your help.
     
  24. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    It is an anti-depressant, and it does stimulate dopamine just like ritalin. Which is why it is effective for ADHD. But its not really abuseable. Seriously, check it out. In combination with Straterra it can be great. It is a good alternative to stimulants for a person that can't control their stimulant dosage.

    Seriously, if you are concerned about your abuse escalating... then you ought to just get off stimulants altogether.
     
  25. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    You are totally right Peyomp. I'm tossing these pills in the toilet RIGHT NOW and phoning up my shrink for an appointment on Monday. :)

    Thanks for your help guys.
     

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