FRK Aesthetic or "issue?"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Feb 13, 2006.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I recently have had somewhat of a change in how I think about people who have "freaky" desires. I used to view it in a sort of clinical way. Now I am coming to view it as a choice, kind of like how some men prefer dark nipples and some prefer light.

    However, I introduced a female friend (totally platonic) to the word "hate fuck" yesterday, which of course spawned a longer conversation. She had a particular stance on women who like to be called "dirty slut" or otherwise demeaned. I don't know if you guys have heard this theory before, but it's what I used to think:

    Society causes people to feel bad about sex, so that guilt becomes associated with sex. The result is that the shame becomes as much of a turn-on ... as the sex itself. Hence the humiliation/punishment fetish.

    No doubt I have insulted someone; I don't mean to. No one needs to "defend themselves to me" or to anyone else, especially in this forum. For those submissive "freaks" who are not offended, allow me to ask: do you think this is a plausible explanation for your fascination with humiliation? Or is it just inexplicable, a random aesthetic, like brown vs. pink nipples?
     
  2. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    I don't think demeaning sex is about guilt, but making the experience as dirty and naughty as possible.
    It's better because it's worse kinda thing.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    That sounds pretty synonymous. In essence it makes the sex "bad." "Wrong" in the right way, "sick" in a sweet way, etc. Instead of saying society makes people feel guilty, you could just say it makes people feel like sex is dirty, if word choice is really important here. Modified:

    Society makes a person think sex is dirty, so that the person associates sexuality with dirtiness. The result is that the dirtiness becomes just as much of a turn-on as the sex itself.
     
  4. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Ok, I didn't agree with what you were saying about humiliation and submissiveness and all that. But I do agree with this part.

    However, I am sure there are many who would agree with you on the humiliation etc. People are different and like different things for different reasons. So I can't answer for everyone. All I know is that I love the dirty, the nasty, the taboo. I like it rough, I like feeling used, I like giving it up, I like being called a whore. Does it have anything to do with the fact that I grew up in a very strict Christian upbringing, and am now rebelling? Maybe. Or maybe this is just who I am. Either way, I don't care. I like it, and I am not going to apologize for it. :big grin:
     
  5. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    Here's one way to look at it:

    Japanese culture is, for the most part, highly repressed. There are more prevalent rape fantasies in Japan, as far as I've seen, than in the U.S.

    People just get turned on by the taboo. A girl who is typically dominant in bed, or comes from a very openly sexual family is not going to be as into getting hate fucked as much as a girl who comes from a sexually repressive family.

    Some may say this isn't the whole story, and while it may not be, I think there is definately a correlation.

    That's why white girls from the suburbs are more into dirty sex than most other demographics. Sheltered = hate fuck me

    girls that grew up in a harsh life want love

    girls that grew up in a loving life want hate


    take this with a grain of salt
     
  6. jonny427

    jonny427 Scooby Doo OT Supporter

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    +1
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Then there's another question. If being made to feel dirty about sex your whole life is part of the reason it turns you on now, do you want to pass the fetish on to your kids, by making them think sex is dirty? If a girl growing up in a prudish environment is more likely to develop a punishment fetish, do you want to recreate a prudish environment and pass on the fetish?
     
  8. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    yeah that is a very interesting thought. If that was the case, I think most would be open with their kids so they can just have somewhat "healthy" sexual relations.

    Not to say that being real into S&M means you aren't "healthy," but I think many would agree that they don't like the REASONS they became that way......for people whom their IS a reason..... (child abuse, etc)
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Agreed. :)
    I'm thinking maybe On Topic next time. :(
     

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