FRK Advise: Please help me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Grimreefer, Sep 15, 2006.

  1. Grimreefer

    Grimreefer Life Sucks ... and then you Die

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    I have been going out with my girl for 5 years now. We are sexually comfortable with eachother and she is willing to try everything except having another girl join in on the fun. I have never had a threesome before, but it has been my life long dream. I don't want to cheat on her, but I really want this. Everytime i try and bring it up she shoots it down without giving me a chance to finish talking. Can someone give me some advise ?? Maybe i'm approaching it the wrong way ??
     
  2. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Respect the woman and be greatful you get everything else ;)

    and threesomes are really not that great lol....I mean they are fun....but....don't screw up a good thing for it....be happy with what you have ;)

    I know it isn't the answer that you are looking for.....but sometimes you need to accept it
     
  3. eighteen_psi

    eighteen_psi Active Member

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    If you keep pushing for this, or heaven forbid go do something about it on your own, you'll likely be the fool out a 5 year relationship :hs:
     
  4. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    YUP....and take it from personal experience...the more you talk about something they are not interested in the LESS (if that is even possible) likely it will ever occur.....when I continually mention stuff to Lovely about other woman, she gets annoyed by it and nothing happens....if I mention it once or twice and than leave it alone and don't mention it anymore, it happens. Why? cause she doesn't feel there is pressure from me and she is able to enjoy it and not feel things are occuring just cause I bitched about it.


    So yeah, just drop the idea and realize it will never happen and get on with things.
     
  5. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    AtlantisBubba is right. Until she is ready to do it, it's not worth making her mad about. I love it, but it took a while to find the right woman and the right situation.
    If she has absolutely no interest at all...well I guess that is one you'll either have to take to Nevada (IMO I wouldn't care if my hubby did it) or live out in your dreams.
     
  6. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    if she's not comfortable with it at all, that's it, nothing is goign to change her mind from the outside. It has to be soemthing she decides on. I don't think there will be any convincing her otherwise. if this is something you really want and she won't budge on then I'd put MONEY down that this will end the relationship.

    I've done the threesome, it was wonderful, but we came at this BOTH interested, and our third interested and we all talked this out extensively before hand. If it's something that she has no interest in then you can't change it.
     
  7. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    dot. to everybody.
     
  8. Grimreefer

    Grimreefer Life Sucks ... and then you Die

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    Thanks for the advice everyone ... I guess everyone here is right, :wtc: I don't think any amount of convincing will get her to change her mind unless she is comfortable with the idea. This is something I really want, but like AtlantisBubba said I should "just drop the idea and realize it will never happen and get on with things". Maybe one day she will open up to the idea of a threesome :x:... just curious but do you guys think if we get married she would feel more comfortable exploring other options ??? Maybe it's a security thing?? Or am I just looking forward to disappointment?
     
  9. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    DON'T DO IT! bad idea
     
  10. Grimreefer

    Grimreefer Life Sucks ... and then you Die

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    Which part the threesome or getting married ??
     
  11. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    there's nothing wrong with fantasy. or wanting fantasy to become reality. but if you really love the girl and you don't want to fuck things up, then you'll just have to keep this just a fantasy. lots of men have to do it. hell, lots of women do too. but its just a fact of life. you can't always get you want, but it looks like you got what you need (thank you Mick :mamoru: )

    and as far as marriage is concerned, it may or may not change things. maybe she just doens't like women? maybe it seems like infidelity to her and thats not what she wants? in any case, i wouldn't get your hopes up.
     
  12. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    You're setting yourself up from problems having expectations from her about this changing. MAYBE she may open up to it, but marriage won't be waht changes her mind.
     
  13. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Marriage MAY (which I stress) change things if she already feels open to the idea. It may be an issue where she feels that you might find the other girl better and always compare her to the other girl or whatever else. Marriage may help that because she might feel more secure in the relationship, however it may not also. Reverse the question around....are you into doing it with another guy or her doing another guy? If your answer is no, than think about why that is...and just replace it with her ;)
     
  14. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    and as far as marriage is concerned, we need to remember that (although its supposed to be) marriage is not permanent.

    so even in that situation, she may not feel secure that she can keep you should you find the other girl more appealing than her.
     
  15. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    yup, it depends on your background....I mean for me it is pretty much a permanent thing (as Lovely doesn't believe in divorce, expect for very specific situations), so I AM STUCK WITH HER lol ;)

    For others (and probably most) that is not the case
     
  16. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :werd:

    watching my brother's marriage dissolve the last 3 days I KNOW the impermanence of marriage -_- it's fucked up.
     
  17. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    thats the part that scares me the most. we both want to involve another girl, but i can't get past the fear that he might find her more attractive or better somehow.

    he assures me that he won't, he's marrying me because he loves me and if he didn't he'd have left me by now to find someone else. but still... there's always that little gremlin back there, pulling on my brain :hs:
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :hug:
     
  19. Grimreefer

    Grimreefer Life Sucks ... and then you Die

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    Yea, i guess i'm being really selfish because there would be no way i would let her be with another guy. I see your point.
     
  20. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    and she knows as you do...that you expect her to do stuff with the other girl...so you willing to give a guy head??? No?...well lets talk about it..maybe we can change your mind??? No? she probably feels the same way ;)

    Not trying to be rude at all, just trying to have you see it from her side.

    @Broken: yeah, Lovely is the same way...I mean we have played around with another girl....but never sex sex (just toys and so forth). Primarily because of the same reasons you have mentioned...she knows I love her and won't 'leave' her or like the other girl more...but the concern is still there.
     
  21. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    One of these days you two will meet a nice girl:x:, have smokin' sex and report it all back to your FS fam!:mamoru:
     
  22. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I think the hubby & I are both equally fond of our girlfriend, but it has taken some time and lots of communication to get to where we are.
     
  23. Grimreefer

    Grimreefer Life Sucks ... and then you Die

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    I know you not being rude :), you helped me a lot because I realized I didn't give a shit about her feelings towards this, and that was really wrong of me. I love her and I don't want to hurt her. I'm going to accept my loss and move on. I feel like an asshole that I have been pushing her so much to do this. Tomorrow I’m going to get her flowers and some chocolates for putting up with my shit.
     
  24. Lovely Atlantis

    Lovely Atlantis Luscious Lovely Lady!

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    aww that's sweet. I'm glad to hear that you've come to an understanding of reality.
     
  25. u4ikstilz

    u4ikstilz New Member

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    This is one of those subjects I've found that should be spoken about very early in the relationship.
    Cause 99% of females have a very unchangeable opinion about this very touchy subject.
     

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