Advice please! V. I feel too much too fast

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Fachh, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    Hello Vaginarium
    been awhile since I've asked for advice but I think I could really use a good talkin to right now, I have been single for about 6 months and in that time I've been on a few dates. Recently I went on one and I feel like I am losing total control.

    so I was working at a restaurant a week ago and I really felt like there was something between myself and this girl that I was serving. As she walked out the door I decided fuck it and wrote my number down on one of our business cards and chased after her. It was well received and she texted me that night and we went out a few days later.

    We went for a walk around noon and then ended up talking for a few hours near the ocean. I kissed her and it was well received. We talked a bit more then we ate at a casual restaurant. We got along really well and the whole time she was saying how she couldn't wait to tell her friends about me and stuff like that. We even finished each others sentences a bit and talked about some really deep things. She shared with me some really personal things about her family and I did the same. Basically by the time I dropped her off I already felt crazy about this girl even though we only spent about 6 hours together. We had a really good kiss and we agreed we would see eachother again for sure.

    I called her the next day and told her what an awesome time I had and she agreed. I asked to see her again and she said she'd call me when she figured out her schedule for the week.

    *mid post update* she got back to me a day and a half later

    okay so she texted me while I was writing this post, I was basically worried about coming on too strong and scaring her away but it looks like I didn't phewf. I think i'm gonna post this shit anyways since I wouldn't mind sharing lols....

    I guess I wanna ask if other OTers operate like me? I find that when I like someone I can go overboard. I feel like my emotions are way too strong from the get go and that has worked against me once or twice. Maybe it is because I rarely feel a real connection with people so that when I find one I grapple on really strong...the last girl said I freaked her out even though I said lets take it slow because she said I am the kind of person who is sort of go big or go home...I coudn't really disagree.

    she's also the hottest girl i've ever kissed lols, that probably has to do with it too



    cliffs: I was worried I scared a girl away by coming on too strong (even though I don't think I said anything crazy) but she got back to me while I was writing this post. I am emotionally weak.
     
  2. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

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    as long as you guys are on the same page, it's all good
     
  3. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    It's cute how crushed out on her you are. :)

    Enjoy it! Part of the fun is waiting and waiting for them to call you, and then getting all excited to hang out but pretending like it's no big deal. Besides, after a while you'll be all like, "Jeez, you already told me this story," so relish it. :mamoru:
     
  4. Acciaio

    Acciaio New Member

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    I don't know if this is the general rule but after letting a woman know you are interested; back off.

    Scenario A: You keep contacting her first trying to set up shit and show her a good time. She feels pressured and thinks you are desperate.

    Scenario B: You wait until she contacts you. You show her a fucking dandy time but leave her wanting a bit more. Let her contact you again. If you weren't a fuck up; she will.

    Scenario C: You wait until she contacts you. She doesn't. She didn't find you interesting/attractive enough. No sweat off your sack.
     
  5. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    I think you are coming off as needy.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2010
  6. john law

    john law Guest

    Ahhh sounds like a case of "one itis".

    Date a few more girls, and you will be cured!
     
  7. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Nothing wrong with falling for a chick right away. Hell, that's half the fun of dating is when you meet a chick that you just connect with and you get all anxious and excited to see her again.
    That's the fun of the chase dude.

    What's important is to keep some of that excitement to yourself and not seem needy and pushy.

    Sounds like you got a second date though, so congrats.
     
  8. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    I really don't think I am giving off the needy vibe because I know from experience that I definitely used to make myself powerless because i'd act like a pussy. I definitely know I have pussy tendencies but at the same time I'm pretty good at hiding them and I think I did pretty well haha...but this girl makes me feel like I don't need to hide them and it is throwing me off.

    I feel like I am fucking 16 and powerless

    i dunno man i feel like i've dated enough, met enough crazies

    do you guys think a second date is too early to invite a girl over for dinner? I usually wouldn't suggest it so early but I feel like it would work in this situation.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2010
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    How old are you?

    "come over for dinner" implies "and then a good fucking".

    So if you guys are like 16, prolly not. If you're older and have your own place, then sure.
     
  10. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    fixed :o
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    As long as it's well received.
     
  12. john law

    john law Guest

    lol, no you haven't, and your post below this proves it...
    NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    You are doing great so far, being aggressive, kissing her. Very good.

    You already did dinner, take her on an action date, such as go karting or pool.

    Save her coming over for dinner the 4th time you hand out. Inviting her over, which I assume means meeting your family, might be just a little too fast, which may make her a little uncomfortable.

    Everything else you've done so far is perfect! :)
     
  13. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    100% dude. if i meet a girl who i'm really into it is VERY hard for me to be distant and not over analyze things and end up fucking shit up. then when a girl comes along that i don't care for and somewhat ignore... she'll text me day and night asking to hang. i recognize this but have a hard time not letting my excitement/emotions get the best of me. :hs:
     
  14. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    ya I was thinking pool too actually

    23

    yeap
    I know how to play the game but it's hard with my excitement level
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2010
  15. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    The best advice I can give is to go somewhere you'll at least like. I'm not saying bring her somewhere that she won't like but if you have a feeling the date might not be going as well as it could just enjoy your time there so its not a wasted night lol.
     

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