Advice (or way past the "Three Date Rule")

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dargone, Mar 16, 2008.

  1. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    Looking for some advice, place to chat, whatever. Here is my current situation-I've been dating this girl for abut a month and we've been hanging out a lot more the last two weeks. We've already made plans this week for Tuesday, Thursday and the weekend. She's my exact type physically (brunette, hot body, long hair, really, really hot in my opinion) and we have a great time together. I was just reading through the "Three Date Rule" thread and I'd have to say I understand what Yail Bloor is saying.

    Having said all that, we have yet to have sex because she wants to get to know me better etc. We've mostly made out with some heavy petting over her clothes but not even close to any sex. Now, I'm a fairly charming, good-looking guy so I'm usually having sex after a couple of weeks. FYI, we are both in our thirties so we both, obviously, have been in a few relationships.

    Last night I told her that there is a small part of me that wonders if this is just some casual thing for her and she's just killing time. She assures me that's not the case and that she is very into me and she just moves slow. She thinks about me when we're not together and looks forward to the days we get to hang out. Again, she wants to get to know me better, before we have sex. I want to go with the flow, but at the end of the night when we're on her couch, or mine, and we start kissing I want to rip her clothes off.

    Am I being played for free entertainment? Should I wait a while longer? Two months, three months? I really dig hanging out with her, and to me, she is a knockout physically. A bit ironic that the girl I really like is holding out while the girls that I've dated casually the past couple of months we're sleeping with me after a few dates. :hs:
     
  2. ASIANPRIDE

    ASIANPRIDE OT Supporter

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    You know what I think it's smart what she is doing....I've been in the type of physical relationships that have been jump started because we had sex. And you know what that does, it forces emotions that are not ready in the relationship yet. If a person is playing around and just wants to have sex and nothing more out of a relationship I've experienced that it can ultimately end in a self destructive one. imo females take sex to be some serious commitment to a relationship so it's not something that should be just exploited unless the relationship is merely physical. I think what she is doing probably grinds ur gears because you're a guy and all you want is pussy! But hell think of how much better it will be once you develop that emotional connection and then combine it with that physical interaction. And if she's a hot as you say she is, why isn't she worth waiting for, respect is key. And by you respecting her wishes to wait while ur still hitting the bases it's gonna be quite the home run once you score!
     
  3. Leah

    Leah OT Supporter

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    I don't think you have anything to worry about. Even if she was just "killing time" as you put it, and not taking things seriously, that's not really a reason to put off sex. It sounds to me like her reluctance means that she likes you a lot and doesn't want to screw things up by moving too fast. Be patient with her, let her know she's worth it.
     
  4. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    Very true.
     
  5. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    I did tell her that she was worth waiting for last night. I guess i need to think along the lines of what you are saying instead of "wow she won't sleep with me yet, she must not like me".
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:

    If you really care about her then just enjoy being with her and stop worrying so much about the sex. It will happen when she's ready for it to happen. Don't judge her feelings by the fact that you've dated other girls who were easy. Not every girl wants to sleep with a guy they've only been dating a couple weeks. Be happy that you found a girl who won't sleep with just anyone.
     
  7. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    she doesnt move. you move.....
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    are you seeing just her, or other women as well?

    oh, and very low chance of getting a direct, honest answer when you ask her something like that

    i suggest watching her actions and drawing your conclusions from that, versus asking questions and listening to the answers
     
  9. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    I was dating a few others as well. However, I'm dating just her currently. You make a good point about drawing conclusions from her actions. Maybe I should start dating others and not put all my "eggs in one basket" so to speak...
     
  10. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I can't speak from life experience here but I think being in your 30's she's looking for a bit more serious of a relationship rather than some guy to date. My guess is that she doesn't want the relationship to escalate into a purely physical one so she's holding off to make sure you're the guy she thinks you are.
     
  11. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Well what are you looking for from her? Do you want a relationship? If you do then man up and tell her what you are looking to get out of this.
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :stupid:

    And unfortunately, based on your posts here, I doubt you are the guy she thinks you are. C'mon, dude... you can't convince me that it's impossible to go for a while without sex in the interests of developing a relationship with your "perfect" woman. Besides, maybe she WANTS to build you up so when she does let you have it, you'll ravage her and leave her unable to walk for a week :naughty:
     
  13. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :bigthumb:
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    My perfect woman wants to have sex with me and doesnt play games.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Your best move here would be to schedule dates with other women, then make sure she finds out about them.

    Right now you are way too available to her. You say you have already made plans to see her 3 times in one week. Isn't that a lot especially considering she isn't fulfilling your needs?

    Try going to one date per week (and go dutch!). At some point she will try to make plans with you on a particular day, and you will already have another date scheduled. "Oh I'd love to, but I'm going out with Karen on Friday."
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Go with your gut. If it gets to the point where you're tired of seeing her without having sex, stop seeing her.

    I'm not gonna tell people that "you should be doing this by this time". Simply go with if you're happy or not.
     
  17. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    Fair enough. You're probably right, it's just an unusual situation for me to be in.
     
  18. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    Exactly. That's why I've been going back and forth. I see both sides, hence the reason I thought I would post about it.
     
  19. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    I guess until we are in an exclusive, intimate relationship, it doesn't hurt to keep my options open.
     
  20. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    Good advice as well. I am going to continue to see her and try not to worry about the sex so much. I'll continue to date other women and reevaluate things down the road...
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    what message(s) are you sending her if you were to do otherwise?
     
  22. Dargone

    Dargone Noob

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    I'm not quite sure what you mean?
     
  23. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I think what he's implying is that by not dating other women until there is a sort of formal commitment from her, you're sending her the message that she somehow has the upper hand; that you're hooked on her and she can drag you along/play games to her heart's content and know you're going to put up with it.

    However, I guess to a certain extent the way I look at it is, you don't HAVE to go out and date/have sex with other women just for the hell of it if you truly believe this girl is something special. Just put your foot down and tell her you need her to make up her mind about where things are going to stand.

    Even if you're not actually doing it, making her aware that you could go out and find another girl any time you want one puts you back in control of your situation and forces her to seriously evaluate things if she doesn't want to lose out on the chance to be in a relationship with you long-term.
     

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