LGBT Advice, am i gay, bi, or straight?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by sosick, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. sosick

    sosick New Member

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    Hello. im 19 years old and new to this site and this thread immediatly caught my attention. i was wondering if i could get some advice and answers to some questions.

    First, i was wondering what makes a person gay. more specifically, i was wondering if i were "gay". ive been curious about this for a few years, but i have avoided makeing a firm decision and i am still unsure of what i am.
    Here is my dilemma and why i am so unsure of myself. you see, i get aroused by women which should mean im "straight". but i fall for men which should mean im "gay". i dont ever remember being in love with a woman. but i dont get off looking at guys.

    presently, i find myself "likeing" one of my guy friends. i get these feelings, dare i say, feelings of being in love. however, its not very sexual. but still, im confused.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2006
  2. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    when you masturbate....who makes your fantasies perfect? girls? guys? both? what kind of porn do you watch? you want to kiss that guy?
     
  3. sosick

    sosick New Member

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    depends on what you mean by fantasy. but when im hot, i tune into women. also, i dont watch porn, but im fascinated by those videos with 2 guys getting it on with one girl. anyways, i couldnt imagine myself going in and kissing him, and if i had the chance, im not sure i would take it. but if he came in for a kiss, ill admit that id probably welcome it.
    i would like to add that when i sleep with women, its for lust. ive never "made love" to women. but even the presence of this guy makes me feel all warm inside. maybe i straight and just havnt found the right girl, or maybe im gay and another victim of parental programing. i just do not know...
     
  4. 2500

    2500 Guest

    why do you care so much about being labeled? why not just love the right person, wether it be a guy, girl, who cares. there are some people who know for a fact they are 100% either way, but if your like me, and your not, just forget the label and find a person to love. i was backwards from you. i thought of guys in a lustful way, and i could never see myself loving or dating one. and i dated women, but would never just mess around with one. so, i couldn't decide if the lust for guys was this, or if i dated women i would be that, yadda yadda. but, then i just stopped caring, and thought i wouldn't worry about a label, and just, love who loves me back. now, i'm in the most amazing relationship of my life, and its with a guy. go figure. but if i would have been caught up on lables, i don't think i would have met my bf, and i woulda been missing out on something really great.
     
  5. sosick

    sosick New Member

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    fair enough
     
  6. tony

    tony Guest

    you are bi like me :naughty: :wavey:
     
  7. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    2500 has a great point - why get so caught up in labels, just love who you love
    :kiss:
     
  8. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    i hated the "i want to do my best friend" feelings :(
     
  9. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

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    You really shouldn't care about what others think, such as in labeling yourself. Sexuality isn't black and white, just do whatever makes you happy. If you were looking for textbook definitions to put on myspace/facebook or something you are bisexual. But again don't be swayed by stigma, date whoever you like, have sex with whoever you like and spend the rest of your life with whoever you love - regardless of what sex that person is.

    And yes it does sound like your parents did a number on you psychologically. As long as you love whoever it is that you bring home to them, they should be happy.

    Be careful how you proceed with the guy you like -- if you come onto him and ask him out without giving any hint he might not take it so well. Test the waters and go from there. It isn't easy to do but it is worth doing as young as you can so you don't miss out on opportunities later.
     
  10. Fate13

    Fate13 New Member

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    everyone who posted has made good points, except tony (he is a pervert and should be ignored). Ddon't worry about labels, just live your life and remember with time all problems are solved!
     
  11. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Been there, done him, now hes married. :ugh:

    IMHO, it probably wasnt a good thing for me to act on it, but it was good at the time. At least the awkwardness is gone and his wife no longer suspects that we still have fun from time to time.
     
  12. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    We've all been there... That's the first struggle... falling in love with your best friend...
     
  13. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't really worry about it.
    None of us can answer your questions... especially when you don't have all the information at this point.

    You need to experiment with men and see if you like it... and experiment more with women and see what you like...

    You're 19. You're not supposed to have it all figured out yet. That's what college is for... to experiment away from your family... figure out what gets your motor running...

    So, don't stress over it... just have fun (and be safe about it) and learn from your experiences.
     
  14. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    :squint: i never got to the 'done him' part.




    :)rofl: i realize its better that way, and also to clarify: ive never confronted him with my feelings....so were just friends :o)

    :)
     
  15. Jobe

    Jobe keke ^_^

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    Me either :hs: But we are no longer friends.
     
  16. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    hit it and quit it?



    you still got a chance
     
  17. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Awesome resonse here. :o
     
  18. tony

    tony Guest


    :p
     
  19. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I'd like to add here that for those of you that are quick to say he's this, that, or in between, you need to be careful here. You really have no right to dictate what he is.

    Sexuality is fluidic. In most people, that fluidity flows in one direction vs. another. Sometimes, that fluidity changes with age, and sometimes it doesn't. In most cases, the younger you are, the more volatile that fluidity is. The older you get, the more stable that fluidity becomes.

    Right now, the person that started this thread, is experiencing that volatile fluidity stage. He's searching for a way to define who he is. NOBODY can define that for him. He's had sex with women out of lust, but is developing strong emotional feelings for men. He doesn't think he's sexually attracted to men, but he's not sure and would welcome the opportunity to test the waters, if the opportunity presented itself.

    He has to figure out who he is for himself, and the only way to do that is to give it time, and take some chances.

    Sosick:

    As others have said in this thread, don't be so concerned with labeling yourself. Sometimes when we get caught up in the labeling it causes problems.

    Give yourself some time and go out and take a walk on the other side of the fence. Explore your sexuality and do it in a safe and healthy way. You may find that sex with a guy, no matter if it's simple making out, or full blown intercourse, is not for you and it does nothing to turn you on.

    Or you may find that sex with a guy blows your socks off and all of a sudden, that missing piece that you feel like you've been searching for all your life, just fell into place.

    You may find that the sex is better with women, and you may stumble upon that one special woman that truly becomes...."The One." Before you know it, you may develop intense feelings for her and again, that missing piece you're searching for, just fell into place.

    Either way, if you don't get out there and take some chances, and explore your sexuality, you may make some poor decisions and spend the rest of your life regretting them. Don't let yourself fall into that easy-way-out trap that a lot of "heterosexual" men have fallen into.
     
  20. tony

    tony Guest

    do you want to :69:
     
  21. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    No. If you're bisexual, and your cock gets within one inch of a vagina, i'd rather stick my dick in a knot in a tree and take my chances with splinters.

    :mamoru:
     
  22. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    wow
    :o

    that's hot
     
  23. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    I kill myself sometimes. :mamoru:
     
  24. tony

    tony Guest

    yes i am bi, and not i pronlem with not get neat a female since i want cock tonight :drool:
     
  25. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    and to back up what NovaJock said...please do it in a healthy, safe way :)
     

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