SRS Addressing Strangers

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DarkDruid, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. DarkDruid

    DarkDruid The Power of The Awesome

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    I go to a city college that has more students than any other university in the state. The only issue is it isn't your typical college campus because besides having classes there are not many ways to get involved with fellow students.

    This semester I started thinking it might be nice to make some friends with some people from school. Normally you go into a class, sit down and everyone is silent/doing there own thing. They listen to Ipods, read a book, stare, text message, or pretend to text message (scroll through their numbers.) My point being, would it be weird to start striking up conversations and trying to get to know people? Like its awkward because it's silent and all but I have noticed once someone breaks the ice and people start getting to know each other things get so much better and more relaxed.

    I know that sounds wierd but I want to make friends and maybe find a girl worth dating and depending on the response I get from here I may pursue this. So let me know what you guys think. Would you be wierded out by this? What could we talk about? etc... :x:
     
  2. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Nope, not awkward at all. Sit next to the person you want to get to know, tap them on the shoulder and say "How's it going? You can ask further questions from there and introduce yourself. In another thread I talked about all the ways you can get into a conversation with a girl in classes. Dropping pens, sneezing, telling her you've seen her in class but hadn't introduced yourself yet -- that you like meeting other students. etc

    Don't talk about anything in depth immediately . Keep it superficial, say something basic, and just get the familiarity started. When someone has contact with you, even though they don't know you, they are more likely to interact with you, or actually be closer to you than students they haven't met.

    If you want to talk, go ahead, but initially it's best just to meet as many students (girls) as possible -- all in the same class. This not only gets them talking about you, but they won't know you're actually moving in. They'll just think you're polite and ....trying to get to know other students. Try different methods. Borrowing paper, saying hello outside of class once you've met in class. Ask if she studied, does she remember when the next exam is, etc. The more you get into it then it will naturally progress. Also, when she introduces herself, always use her name when addressing her each day -- at least once or twice. Using someone's name reinforces the connection psychologically if the individual sees you as non threatening and friendly. Think about any time a stranger has used your name as you were getting to know them. If it was someone decent, nice, cute, whatever -- by using your name a few times, you know that they are focused on you, they're giving "you" specifically their attention. Or, when you've seen someone and they've seen you in a setting -- the class room for this example. Just "seeing" each other, increases the likelyhood that when you speak, there is already a loose bond being born. We've all experienced it. Just having someone say hello to us, makes us more likely to say hello again to them, or to speak to them in the future.

    Be yourself, but be yourself with a twist.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2009
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    One friend I still have today is a kid I met in college who walked in before the professor got there and said "Who gets this shit?" The way the room was set up he walked in the front so he was in front of everyone. Everyone laughed, some of us talked, 4 or 5 of us met in the common hall after and made what I guess is a study group but really it was more like just making friends.

    Try something like that?
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you can't live your life trying to avoid weird and uncomfortable situations

    the more you put yourself out there, the less and less weird and uncomfortable it will be in the long run

    in the beginning there will be some missteps, but do not let this dissuade you
     
  5. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Find the smoking section. They're sitting ducks.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    but they also smell.
     
  7. Minty

    Minty Fresh and Minty!

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    I don't think so, I am also thinking of trying to meet other people other than the ones in my class, which some are just not my cup of tea. I don't see why whom I can befriends with should just limit to my class or the network I already know.
     
  8. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    It's only a starting point.
     
  9. Spinkick

    Spinkick Active Member

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    I guess you just have to do what is comfortable for you. It seems to me if you try too hard, it looks forced. Would you be comfortable striking up a conversation like that in that area?
     
  10. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    It's true. Like most things (except, say, skydiving) you should ease in slowly and comfortably. But ending up trying too hard is better than doing nothing at all. At least you eventually learn from it.
     
  11. Spinkick

    Spinkick Active Member

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    Good point. At least try to stay positive if it gets wierd, haha
     
  12. DarkDruid

    DarkDruid The Power of The Awesome

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    In all honesty I am a shy person but don't really want to be. I have to give myself goals to pave a way forward on improving myself. I can definitely start conversations up, but the best way I have found to do it is to just let it naturally happen. Not force people to talk, but rather find a situation in which your wouldn't mind talking to people.
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Thing is that: No action = No reaction , meaning you always have to invest action if you want to get a reaction. To get a convo going just ask a question, if a convo tends to die out , ask another question. It can be as easy as simply asking what the time is. It really works. Keep going on from there.
     
  14. Pwen

    Pwen Guest

    I would more concerned about passing class than anything about friends or the poeple around me. I suck at school so i would have to try.

    If somebody wanted to talk to me sweet, but I ain't going to worry about hitting it off with everyone.
     

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