SRS addiction question

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by techn9ne, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. techn9ne

    techn9ne New Member

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    ok, ive got something on my mind, please help me out. i was a meth adict for a short time, but ive been off it for almost a year now. however, i keep getting the urge to use BADLY, for no reason. i already know its going to fuck everything up, my social, family, financial, everything. i know its going to fry me and destroy me and turn me into a shithead again. but why does my brain not care about these things when the cravings hit? its like, i already know nothing good will come out of it, that its a horrible idea, but for some reason, i want to do it anyway. any input is appreciated :hsd:
     
  2. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    I don't have any really good input, but that shit is plain scary. Most drugs are bad enough, but that one will just fuck you up more than anything.

    I lost a friend to the stuff. She still exists, but she ain't the same person. She was a big boned girl, now she's like 90lbs. Robbed her family's business... robbed her mother, robbed her brother.
    Abandoned all her children (who used to live with me so its extra heartbreaking).

    I guess now she's running guns. Doctors told her she'd die from infections if she hit the pipe again, but she still hits it.

    Anyway, you know its a horrible idea. I can't imagine how strong that craving must be for you... but knowing how bad it is... I would just look at it like a war and do any fucking thing to fight that urge. I wish I could be of more help, cause nobody should ever fuck with that shit.
     
  3. thatguyjeff

    thatguyjeff New Member

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    The answer is that you're an addict and you have a disease.

    Part of the disease is an obsession of the mind.
     
  4. techn9ne

    techn9ne New Member

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    thats just it. i know im an adict, i know the disease is trying to kill me, if i give in ill be dead/in jail/insane etc. ive heard all of that shit before. and i know its true. but it still doesnt explain why my brain is self destructive
     
  5. ~stangzorized~

    ~stangzorized~ New Member

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    its cause all youre thinking about is the good times, not the bad times... think really hard about what would happen, in depth if you started to use again... and not just what would effect you, but others...
     
  6. thatguyjeff

    thatguyjeff New Member

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    That's just it. Your brain is self-destructive because that's what the disease does. Addict brains are not wired the same as non-addicts.
     
  7. Whenever I feel like doing a line I just think back to how fucked up it made my life back then and if I did it now how fucking horribly fucked up my life would be now...that would probably be the last straw if I got addicted again. So basically...YES it might be a temporary relief from whatever shitty situation you are in now but trust me it is so not worth it. Please don't do it.
     
  8. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    There is a reason you have cravings - it is because Meth destroys the ability for your brain to process Seretonin, and it actually takes years to redevelop the ability to have the level of consciousness that you are feeling at this time. Your brain is finally able to feel this way again, and you trained yourself at one point to deal with whatever is going on there with Meth and it is trying to return to the only way it knows of dealing with it.

    Once this happens I reccomend you renew the 90 in 90 commitment that 12 step groups use - this is a new level of recovery, and an important one - you have to emotionally and spiritually renew your self connection and work towards becoming what you want in life you you do not have to ever deal with this again. (at this emotional level)

    Basically, this is a two edge sword - you are getting better, but that means your brain is becoming more sensitive and able to emotionally process extremely small (as in precise) and important emotions, feelings, needs and concepts which are important to you and your limbic drives. This is a new level of difficulty in emotional processing which you need to slowly and admittedly painfully adjust to in order to survive as a addict in recovery. The powerful benefit of this is that as a person who has lived through this you will understand and be able to evoke a sense of empathy for others which many people are not able to process due to not being able to connect with themselves at that level.
     
  9. techn9ne

    techn9ne New Member

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    thats just it. i remember all the shitty things that came with it, but for some reason, i almost dont really care.
     
  10. techn9ne

    techn9ne New Member

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    and i never used to solve problems. the main reason i use is boredom - and theres plenty of that everywhere.
     
  11. techn9ne

    techn9ne New Member

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    i never used meth as a solution, i mainly used it as a distraction.
     

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