At the party, I also tooled the fuck out of some guy who I took an irrational dislike to, which is the only bit I regret from yesterday, and is somewhat of a sticking point for me: perceiving threats in my environment. This guy was aiming for a cocky, dominant vibe, which I pretty much reacted horribly to. For example, I looked for little weaknesses in his frame to exploit, e.g., I was the guy saying "Come dance with this girl, man", when dancing was clearly one thing he was not cocky about, when I was already dancing with her. He played it off, saying "No, you're doing great man." So I laughed and pointed and said "This guy is too cool to dance. " He dropped the cocky tone and whined that he needed to get more drunk before he could dance. So I "won". Except not really, since I lowered another person's social value, when I should have been raising ours both. After he told me he needed to get more drunk I asked, "You think I know what I'm doing?" He said "Um, YES," turning to the HB, "Yes, he does," as if I was pretending to be bad at dancing when actually I was really good. That is really funny because I am TERRIBLE at dancing and he was subconsciously reacting to the frame game rather than the actual quality of my dancing. What's sad is I'm sure he's a cool guy. I was just approaching the situation as if he was a threat. He was angry later in the night so I let him vent it a bit at my expense since it was actually no loss for me. This is different from genuine bona fide confrontations where the other guy in question has nothing positive to offer. In those situations I'm all for negativity. For example, this man came up to us on the street to hawk a CD album he was selling. Now unfortunately whenever someone comes up to impose a sale on me I get threatened-looking body language, fight or flight subcommunications. Sometimes the guy is cool about it and backs off, other times he gets offended and chodes right up. This was one of the latter types. "Yo, you should listen to this CD man, it's the shit man." "I'm not interested." "Yo, you shouldn't be scared of black people," the guy said. I've gotten this before so I had a response canned. "Yeah," I agreed. "It's all about race." "So," he said, "Why is that?" (Weak, since he had been expecting me to jump the hoop and defensively apologize for some nonexistent racism.) "I'm just agreeing with you, man," I said. "Are you patronizing me man?" he said. "Yeah, I'm patronizing you. And if you call me an asshole I'm an asshole." He walked with us in silence for a minute and then told me, "If we were uptown, I would rob you." He started walking off. "I bet your cock is bigger than mine, too," I called after him. This is normal for me in NYC since with guys like that I'm not going to let these fuckers suck my positive energy by being nice to them. I've lived here since I was 0 and everyone has their own approach; that is mine. But like I said the guy at the party who I tooled... he was NOT some douchebag hawking CD's, so I regret the way I acted.