Accused of Cheating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by PeetaGTS, Oct 15, 2007.

  1. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    Hey guys,
    I have been with my girlfriend for about 11 months now (11months this friday) and recently my girlfriend claims that she has recieved an anonymous e-mail from someone saying that i was cheating on her. I absolutely did not cheat on my girl and i will never do that to her. I am not that kind of person.

    after meeting up with her trying my hardest to explain to her that i did nothing wrong, she still won't budge. She refuses to show me the e-mail because she feels that i dont deserve an explanation. Just recently i've been going to the gym almost everyday doing the week because i used to do that but now decided to get back on it because i dont feel as good as before and need to shape up. She claims that i am working out all the time but honestly i work out after work at arounf 6pm untill 7-7:30pm and tehn i goto her house or she comes to mine.


    I know this type of insecurity i blame most of it on myself because 4 months ago we had a fight over a problem we had with a girl i used to hang out with.
    She basically got very upset at the way i handle the conversation. because i told this girl i have a girlfriend and is extremely happy and she texts back saying "well does your girlfriend know that we will be getting married and having beautiful babies together?" and i just laughed and said that i am happy with my girl and thats all. she felt like it was cheating but i was sorry for it and we stayed together but the trust wasnt there as much and would have to be rebuilt.


    I see her almost 24 hours a day and i can believe she thinks i am cheating on her.


    Now i am stuck...being accused of cheating which i didnt and i dont know what to do. I obviously love her so much and care for her and i hate to end it. Any suggestions? Thanks
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She sounds way too insecure for her own good, which sucks because you've done nothing wrong. What is happening is she is so insecure she needs you around all the time to validate her worth to you, and that is obviously not helathy. Now she's getting upset because you go to the gym every day for an hour after work?

    No, I wouldn't put up with that shit. I'm sure you really care about her and maybe don't want to lose her but you need to stand up for yourself man! Relationships can't survive when you just surround yourself with one another because one is fearful that the other will stray if they have time to themselves. I'm sure you've already said more than enough that you didn't cheat, but if she continues to not believe you and have trust issues you two will never ever work out and you'll need to move on.
     
  3. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    I know I'm still a n00b around here, but let me offer my opinion. I think your relationship is doomed.
    She appears to have a lot of insecurities about her relationship with you. And the only way to calm those concerns is to disconnect yourself from texting, going to the gym alone, and finding yourself in conversations with women/girls that have feelings for you even if you don't have feelings for them.
    So since you're going to the gym even more rather than less, I don't think you're wanting to compromise. I'm not saying you should, because I think the issue is in her head, but rather, that is what is going to take to maintain the relationship with her.
    Talk to her, and let her know, that you will not cheat on her. Supporting facts: 1, in the past 11 months you have not (you're still counting months?). 2, you'd break up with her first because of differences within the relationship, before you'd ever consider anything outside of the relationship. 3, you're willing to take her to the gym with you. 4, give her access to your email so she can spy if she feels concerned.

    Like I said, in the end, I think this relationship will not last... It may last for a few more years, but you'll get sick and tired of being accused of something you haven't done, that you'll end up doing just in spite.

    Good luck.
     
  4. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    Tell her you arent cheating and she needs to get with the program.

    You have tried to convince her. Either she believes you and sticks around, or will take a hike.

    Also, dont fuel the fire with messages like that from your friend, that would piss anyone in a serious relationship off on some level.

    Also if you guys decide to keep working it out together, make sure this issue is RESOLVED and she isnt all paranoid and calling you and questioning you just to see if you are cheating. Its a need that she wont ever get filled.
     
  5. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    That's bullshit. I would be fucking livid if my gf wouldn't show me that e-mail.

    Someone is sending false shit to your gf about you - that is absolutely your business.

    Plain and simple.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Agreeing with the above posters. The relationship is pretty much done. I mean think about it...she got an ANONYMOUS email that stated you cheated...and she believed it over what you said?

    She won't show you the email? Very odd.

    It is possible that she just wants the relationship to end, and made all this crap up (hence not wanting to show you the email, as it doesn't exist).

    Either way, it's over. She isn't going to trust you...and come on, she's so insecure that she believed an anonymous email?

    You don't want to be with a girl like that.

    Finally...she doesn't feel she owes you an explanation, that's why she won't show you the email? Huge sign of disrespect there. She doesn't respect you.

    Come on man, you deserve better than this.
     
  7. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    and i came over her house and staye dthere and i see all of our pictures and stuff taken down.. and it is tearing me apart inside. i still love her so much.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    She's probably cheating on you.

    When a girl cheats she learns how easy it is to actually pull of cheating, and then she starts to wonder "...since it's so easy, I wonder if my bf is cheating on me? omg, I would never know!" Her guilty conscience eats at her until she finally accuses you of it.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Fuck that shit. I had an ex who would take all my pics down every time we had a fight, and then put them back up after we "made up."

    I was like :ugh: if we get married are you going to take your ring off every time we get in a fight, too? :ugh:
     
  10. Axle13

    Axle13 New Member

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    I have to say, it sounds like your relationship doesn't have a long-term future to begin with. If she doesn't trust you over an anonymous email and is so insecure about you dealing with any member of the opposite sex, then she clearly has issues.

    Honestly, I'd have to question her maturity.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yikes, just do yourself a favor and rid yourself of this girl because she has way too many problems man. I'm being serious.
     
  12. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    if she is removing you from her surroundings... its a bold statement.

    Either she is super immature, or really doesnt want you to be on her mind anymore.

    I'd have a serious talk with her, or take a walk... sounds like its a lost cause tho.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    your first mistake was not laughing in her face when she came to you with vague acuasations based on an anonymous email.

    this girl is wrong in the head. get out.
     
  14. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    To me, it doesn't sound like she's cheating or wants out so she's making up excuses to end it. In my opinion, it sounds like she got worried that you were cheating (possibly because you had been changing your schedule by going to the gym more, etc) and decided to try to get you to fess up this way. If a girl (or guy) thinks their SO is cheating, they'll try to find any way to catch them.

    I would be really skeptical about this email she refuses to show you. This actually happened to me but I wasn't lying. I got a couple random myspace messages from someone trying to tell me that my boyfriend was a scumbag and all this crap. First thing I did was call him at work and tell him to log into my account and read the most recent messages in my inbox. I would never think of accusing a guy of something without showing them the evidence I had. Whatever her reasoning, it sounds like that email does not exist.

    But honestly, even if it does, do you really want to be with someone like that? Unless that email had pictures of you with someone else or some other type of 100% proof you were cheating, she shouldn't be handling it this way. She should have shown it to you and asked you to explain. If there was an explanation, she should have trusted you and let it go.

    You don't need this drama, whether she's lying about the email or not. You know you didn't cheat and the rest is up to her.
     
  15. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Every instance i know of where this type of thing happens the relationship usually ends shortly after...... it really sucks, but it sounds like she's a bit immature and it might be better to get out now when things are falling apart, rather than after they have already been put to ruins.

    If you really want to give her another chance tell her to start trusting you or you're gone for good.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Agreed. In no way do I think she is cheating on you or even trying to get out of it. She just sounds extremely insecure, young, and obsessed with trying to catch you. I also think she might have made this "anonymous email" up just in hopes that she will catch you. It's either that or the email is from someone you know that for some reason want to make your life a living hell.

    In the end you need to realize this relationship is most likely over and break it off.
     
  17. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    i was talking to her online for 10minutes and shes basically very hard headed right now. i tried to explain things to her again and she doesnt budge. i asked her if we can meet up for dinner then chill,talk about things and she says "i think we can do that but i'm not giving you a definate yes"

    I am so confused, torn and i dun't know what to think right now. although majority of you guys say to give up.... i'm wishing that there is some kind of hope where she can believe me. I mean we enjoy being around each other so much we basically see each other everyday. we're basically very attached.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I can't understand why you wouldn't be immediately turned off by how dumb your gf is.
     
  19. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Not so much dumb as immature and uncommitted. When you've been with someone for that long, you should be more open and honest with them. Like I said before, if that email does exist, she should show it to you and talk with you about it. Unless she has previous reason to think you're cheating, she should take you at your word and move on. Sure most girls would be freaked out by it or upset, but they would talk to their bf, trust them if there was no proof of cheating, and move forward. I'm not saying she should disregard it because accusations like that are serious, but she shouldn't completely disregard your side. A smart girl would trust you and let it go while keeping an eye out for any realistic clues that you're cheating.
     
  20. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    He loves her so he gives her the benefit of the doubt, and tries to make it work.
     
  21. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Why are you letting her call the shots? SHE made the outrageous accusation about some stupid e-mail.

    You need to tell her that you haven't been cheating and that should be the end of it, but also that she can go ahead and think whatever she wants. When she wants to stop acting like a child and talk like an adult, she knows how to find you. You shouldn't be jumping through hoops.
     
  22. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    yea but although i am not at fault and i do blame myself for somw of her insecurities because i have lied to her a few times int he 11month relationship.. but i was sorry and she gave it another try and i have been truthful to her ever since. but i have to regain her trust fully again.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Bottom line: There seems to be no trust in your relationship. Work on it...or realize it's never going to be gained by her and move on.
     
  24. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    she said she will show me the email soon or eventually but its coming from myspace and that person deleted their profile.

    this this all a fucking game? excuse my language.

    i appreciate every one of you guy's advise and i will take everything and absorb it,. its a hard time for me because obviously i still love and care for her soo much and it hurts... it is eating me away with all this. dont think i am gonna be the same for awhile.

    and i know some of you will be saying.. "MAN UP" HAVE SOME BALLS. bUT EMOTIONS HAVE THE BEST OF ME RIGHT NOW.
     
  25. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    FYI, if you get a myspace message from a given account and that account is deleted, the message is deleted as well and a blank one saying the account was deleted shows up in it's place. If she's claiming that she'll show it to you later but the account was deleted already, something fishy is going on because you quite simply can't do that.
     

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