Accepting Less?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by uwofrost, Jul 9, 2008.

  1. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    I still talk to my ex about once a month as she was such a big part of my life for so long. Why is it that so many people settle for less than what they had. She admiditly has accepted less in her life since we split. Where as i have not accpeted less and that would be why i only date girls for a month then they are gone cause i dont downgrade... So i guess how many of you would be ok with accpeting less than what you had before?
     
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    i wouldnt, but it took me a while to learn that lesson. my friends who accept less are obviously taking longer to learn :)

    also, some people sadly seem to think they dont deserve something good, in which case i assume they settle for what they wrongly thing think they deserve
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :eek3: I've never thought about that or noticed it. I've never let myself date less. I've always sought out upgrades. Actually, when I think about it now it's kind of hilarious how much better each guy I dated was than the guy before :mamoru:

    Edit: Now settling for life, that is very common sadly. I thought we were just talking about people dating an obvious downgrade after a decent bf/gf.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Honestly, probably 90% of the population settles.

    i don't. But I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I can be generally content 95% of the time by myself.

    I see it as the opposite....instead of settling for less than what you had before, you should be looking for MORE than you had before. Every relationship should be a learning experience to help you fine tune what you want in a partner.

    EDIT: Nice AV
     
  5. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    Thanks... i need to see if she will make me a custom AV... I heart that girl...
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    Depends on what "less" means too (and who's deciding it). You could say some guy was less because he didn't have as a good a job as you or something. But to her, maybe he is nicer, etc., so it's still an upgrade in her eyes. (No offense to you. I don't know the actual situation.)
     
  7. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,000
    Likes Received:
    4
    its not healthy to compare your new SO as an upgrade or a downgrade...

    being happy with your SO is more important
     
  8. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    I guess its all in the eyes of the beholder but what do you think about having someone that you feel is less than you had before?
     
  9. CHOWBOX

    CHOWBOX OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2002
    Messages:
    9,857
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Eagan, MN
    I think this is very important. I have been dating a few gals after my divorce. Most are better looking than my ex is. But my ex and I really clicked on everything we did. We just grew apart after all those years.

    I want to find one that I have this connection with again. No fun otherwise. One is a lawyer that has very opposite views on issues than I do. We have such a great time talking over a bottle of wine solving the world’s problems. I can talk to her for hours. Unfortunately we will never be long term, as she wants to get married and have children and I just don’t see that anymore.
     
  10. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,223
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Greenwood Village
    Eagan!!! working there now
     
  11. CHOWBOX

    CHOWBOX OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2002
    Messages:
    9,857
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Eagan, MN
    :h5: must do happy hour sometime
     
  12. RebootEnzo

    RebootEnzo New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    841
    Likes Received:
    0
    I made the mistake of accepting less one time and I found out I rather be alone then take a downgrade.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Downgrade only if its within acceptable parameters.

    ie. your minimum is an 8. Your ex was a 9. A downgrade to an 8.5 is acceptable.

    But it's better to be alone than to settle.


    btw, exes are always psychotic bitches and therefore downgrading is impossible :bigthumb:
     
  14. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,000
    Likes Received:
    4
    finding that connection is hard but rewarding

    good luck
     
  15. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Totally agree, it's not about comparisons it's about how happy you and your SO are together. The less comparing you do the happier you will likely be.
     
  16. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Messages:
    12,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    Damn, bro. You are talking about a girl, not a car or something else you own. Upgrade? Downgrade?

    Everyone has their range. They know what they want in that range. It's stupid trying to compare two people who fit the set of criteria you are looking for because it's always gonna be subjective. Girl A might have ass like woah while girl B might have the perfect rack. Girl A might be really spontaneous and fun while Girl B might know not to blow her/your money on trivial shit. See where I'm going with this?

    Generally, people who say they don't wanna "settle" and say things like they don't want to "downgrade" are just looking for convenient excuses for being single. I am not saying you are doing that, but hey, many/most people do. :dunno:
     
  17. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    sorry dear, you weren't that great :mamoru2:
     
  18. audrey

    audrey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Down Under
    I think most people accept less, because they are scared of having nothing. It's so sad, because you're not free and available to meet a person who can seriously make you so happy.
     
  19. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,652
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Insecurities.. Girl I know isn't happy in her relationship but won't end it cause she's scared she'll stay single.
     
  20. audrey

    audrey New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Down Under
    uhuh exactly. I know at least 3 people in the same situation.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    BTW, who are you to judge if the next bf is better or "less" than you??? What are you judging that by?
     

Share This Page