SRS Abuse as a child v. gonna fuck me in the head?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pen Is Mightier, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. I can't believe I'm even posting this, no one knows outside my family and I've kept it hidden my entire life. No asshole comments, please. Only reason I'm posting this is to vent it out and get feedback on if I should seek help or if I can just try to forget it.
    Is this normal? I know of another friend who's dad would fight him but I never told him about me. Whenever I had a bruise on my body I'd just make up some excuse like me and my brother were fighting or wrestling or something.
     
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Fathers can be assholes... but I think it is easier to deal with an asshole father than with a bitch of a mother.

    My father wasn't abusive but he did tend to go a little extreme with discipline and would hit my brother and myself constantly with taps to the head/leg/arm... nothing hard enough to break bones or leave bruises. My brother never listened and was always running his mouth though so it always put my father over the edge, and he would get the majority of the discipline.

    But I remember one time my father was in a pissy mood as well as I was too, and we were sitting in the van waiting for my mother inside a grocery store. I don't remember what caused the altercation, but he was trying to swat at my legs from behind him in the drivers seat because we had a disagreement. I got sick of his hitting over disagreements this day so I stood up to him. As he was trying to hit my legs I moved them out of the way and this made him more mad, so he tried harder to him me... at this point I raised my fist up like I was going to punch and yelled "Don't you dare fucking hit me, I'm not like my brother, I will hit back".

    After this day the hitting stopped and there was a new found respect between my father and I.

    It is the same way of dealing with a bully. Bullies pick on targets that don't fight back because this gives them power. But as soon as you fight back, they lose that power and stop bullying that target.

    My friends father told him one time when they were having a disagreement that he will listen to and respect him because if he doesn't he can/will beat his ass... however, he said one day he will be bigger, stronger and faster than him and he will be able to kick his father ass... BUT hopefully he has enough respect for his father at that time to not beat his ass.

    This goes both ways... an abusive father has no respect for himself or his children.

    Similar to my story with my father or the bullies, sometimes respect can't be earned it has to be seized. And if you're not the type of person to stand up for yourself and take that respect, then you need to distance yourself from that person.

    It will only fuck you up in the head if you allow it to.
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    No, it is not normal. Please do yourself a favor and get into some counseling. You will thank yourself for it later.
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    .

    I was beaten up as a kid (my father was a 'recovered' alcoholic) and 100% the biggest consequence of that (besides being jumpy and a general fear of men) has been a fear that i'll do that to my own children some day.
    I was in therapy from maybe 11 to 19, and it was invaluable in helping me move on and work on the tendencies i'd inherited from him.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    It isn't normal but unfortunately it is common. Tons of kids i've spoken to have been beaten up, only God knows what happens behind the curtains in all those households, its messed up beyond belief. We have a child phone here, were kids can call in if their parents beat them up. The number is free, and the kids can find relief in calling the number ,knowing that there is help 'out there'.
     
  6. Yeah I think it is too common. My plan is to come back and knock him the fuck out.
     
  7. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    growing up with an alcoholic parent is not normal. but like others have said it is way too common.

    i was in that same position as a kid/teenager and it sucks. especially when a father beats up on his daughter (in my case).

    your dad isn't gonna get help until something big happens; it's gotta be life changing.
    my dad didn't stop abusing/drinking til I called the police on him. You gotta know when to say enough is enough and you have to protect yourself and your life. You cannot continue to let someone take out their anger on you no matter who that person is. If you love yourself, you will protect yourself.

    I never got therapy, I turned out ok I believe but now my father and I have no relationship and we live in the same home. Frankly, I don't want it and don't care to have it ever again.
    If you feel like you will be fucked in the head, talk with someone about it. Or go to AA meetings in your local neighborhood and discuss it, see if the counselor there can help you get counseling.
     
  8. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I think it's interesting to see the different views on getting beaten by parents among different cultures. I was beaten as a kid and so was my brother. Culturally for us, as well as some friends of mine, it wasn't a huge deal. Parents beat their kids as punishment. I'm not trying to say it's right but I think it's one of those things that will only really affect it if you let it. I noticed that among my friends who were from a culture where beating your kids is considered acceptable we aren't phased by it and joke about it. It's all just how you look at it. With that said beating does suck.

    Lastly, my parents stopped beating me when I showed them I would fight back and wasn't afraid.
     
  9. I try to fight back and do but he has like 40-50 pounds on me and is way stronger. Now step back like 4 years and he was like 90 pounds more than me and almost a foot taller. When I got my ass handed to me like last week I got sucker punched and then got him a couple times but then basically got obliterated by one and then I was down and just got railed on. Pretty fucked. I am suprirsed how many other people had this problem. :ugh: It's a sick world out there.
     
  10. She wasn't there that time, but before she'd always be yelling at him to stop but he wouldn't. Right now I don't care though...I'm moved out and not really talking to them right now. I won't be coming back until at least Christmas, if ever...and I plan on kicking some ass if he tries to be an asshole again.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well revenge is never a good thing, you'll only become the same kind of person like your dad if you did. :hsd:
     
  12. How will that make me like him? I am just read to defend myself, I will not instigate. And I am not having any children so that is not a problem.
     
  13. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    why don't you call the police? :confused:
    I am suprised no one else has mentioned this
     
  14. It's a thing of the past dude. I don't know why I didn't when I was younger...I guess I just didn't want to see my father get in trouble? :dunno:
     
  15. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    I got the crap beat out of me almost everyday by a step dad

    It took 3 reports to child services, my attempted suicide and running away from home and the cops getting involved before he stopped

    but I am perfectly normal (I think) and if anything it gave me a better drive to succeed in life so I can look down on him and say see I made it despite what you said to me and put me through
     
  16. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I'm sorry if I don't feel that bad for you considering that my father is a body builder with 100 lbs on me and I still stand up to him. Did I mention I'm a girl? You should just try to get over this. Like I said, it will only affect you if you let it.
     
  17. Wow you're so hardcore. I bet you're like super strong then and when your Dad is slapping your or something you just break his wrist just by using your mind. I'm sorry that when I was like 5'3" and 100 pounds I couldn't beat up my 235 pound Dad who was punching me. Now I'm like 6'4" and 185 and it's still hard. Yeah I fought back that one night which was now like two weeks ago, but I'd really like to see you try, it would be laughable. One last question, CorpseStreet, how many times have you been knocked out? Bitch.
     
  18. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Stop being a baby about this, it isn't going to help you. Sorry you can't take the fact that I'm not offering you the pity you're craving. Deal with it. If your father is so bad call the cops. Oh wait, you don't want to. If you're not going to do anything about it stop complaining and take it. By the way I love the name calling, real mature.
     
  19. :dunno: You didn't answer my question either.
     
  20. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I didn't call you a baby, I said you were being a baby. You might not see the difference there but I do. I have not been knocked out. Why does it matter? You seem to be missing my original point and focusing on my lack of pity.
     
  21. I don't care about anyone's "pity", I wanted advice and opinions. You just think you're so hardcore though and I find it laughable.
     
  22. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I gave you my advice. Try to be strong and put it behind you. That's all you can do at this point. You said you no longer live at home so avoid going back home if you can. What happened to you sucks, I'm not going to deny that but you can't focus on it or it will fuck you up. Do you like that response?
     
  23. pharmokan

    pharmokan OT Supporter

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    how do you deal with this? do you project this onto other people, like bully them? or are you just calm and keep it to yourself? to be honest with you i would be more concerned if you just take it and keep it in you rather then venting this problem that you have out of your system. that can potentially affect you psychologically in the future.
     
  24. Hah, no I definintely don't bully anyone. I think I'm nice to everyone and typically a happy person. I do keep it to myself though. I never told anyone outside of my family what has happened. Only my SO knows because they saw me after I was kicked out and was kind of fucked up. I dont know how I'd "vent" it to anyone though...I'm not comfortable talking about it and whenever I do my stomach and throat just get tied up it feels like and I can't say anything.
     
  25. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    if your dad is beating on you and you are over 14 you should definately fight back, regardless of your size. yah you will most likely get your ass kicked but your goal should be to hurt him as much as possible in getting your own butt kicked. If you do that, i gurantee it will be the last beating you take. stand up for yourself. if you are under 14 i suggest you call the cops or tell a teacher every time.
     

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