I've always been the top in sales at my company. I've been smoking about a 2-3 ounces of weed a week for the last year. Sometimes chronic, in significantly smaller amounts. Smoking always made me sell better, and remove the tension in my body. I did ecstasy a few times, and ever since, smoking weed has made me depressed. Depressed to the point where I felt worthless, colors were dim, and I felt like I was in a glass cage looking out. In other words, sales deflated! So, I quit smoking weed on monday. My self-medicating is gone. I feel great while at home. However, I experience extreme anxiety attacks at work, especially when people I pitch perfectly to don't buy. I get a rush up my body that temporarily makes me feel insane, like I could kill somebody. I've made an ass out of myself in front of the whole sales floor. I've been getting in fights with my boss about retarded shit. Three times today I went into the training room. That's more than I've ever went in the training room since I started working for the company a year ago! I know I'm fucking up. But I explained how I feel and she understands I need some outside help. Today she sent me home early and told me to go to the doctor. But I'm afraid of anxiety meds because I'd have to ween off them. Also, I've never been to the doctor, so I have no idea where to start. Other people were telling me to go the herbal way. St. Johns Wort or some type of tea were two suggestions brought up. But I don't know what would work the best. I think I may have always have had some type of anxiety problem, since my body is always so tight and stiff. But I'm not sure! So OT, I ask your help! Please.... I need to take care of this by monday, or I'll lose my job. I have the weekend to spare, and a total of about $150. What do I do?