SRS About to lose my job unless I fix this.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by x deaD piXeL, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    I've always been the top in sales at my company.

    I've been smoking about a 2-3 ounces of weed a week for the last year. Sometimes chronic, in significantly smaller amounts. Smoking always made me sell better, and remove the tension in my body.

    I did ecstasy a few times, and ever since, smoking weed has made me depressed. Depressed to the point where I felt worthless, colors were dim, and I felt like I was in a glass cage looking out. In other words, sales deflated!

    So, I quit smoking weed on monday. My self-medicating is gone. I feel great while at home. However, I experience extreme anxiety attacks at work, especially when people I pitch perfectly to don't buy. I get a rush up my body that temporarily makes me feel insane, like I could kill somebody. I've made an ass out of myself in front of the whole sales floor. I've been getting in fights with my boss about retarded shit. Three times today I went into the training room. That's more than I've ever went in the training room since I started working for the company a year ago!

    I know I'm fucking up. But I explained how I feel and she understands I need some outside help. Today she sent me home early and told me to go to the doctor. But I'm afraid of anxiety meds because I'd have to ween off them. Also, I've never been to the doctor, so I have no idea where to start. Other people were telling me to go the herbal way. St. Johns Wort or some type of tea were two suggestions brought up. But I don't know what would work the best. I think I may have always have had some type of anxiety problem, since my body is always so tight and stiff. But I'm not sure! So OT, I ask your help! Please....

    I need to take care of this by monday, or I'll lose my job. I have the weekend to spare, and a total of about $150.

    What do I do? :noes:
     
  2. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    Self medicating and your life has become unmanageable = Step 1.

    Step 2 is believing that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity. Right now that needs to be a doctor.

    Your brain chemistry is whacked and needs to be corrected. Please be absolutely honest with the doctor, printing out your post would be ideal.

    Please don't put this off, losing your job will only add to your anxiety.
     
  3. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    At this point in time, I'm willing to do ANYTHING, as long as it meets the following criteria:

    1. Can actually work by monday
    2. Costs less than $150 out-of-pocket now
    3. Won't be a short-term solution that creates a bigger problem later

    ANYTHING. But, I don't know anything about doctors. I've NEVER been to one in my life. Do I need to see a family doctor? Or a psychiatrist? Or..what? Seriously, I'm brain dead on the subject, and I'm so low on funds that I can't make the wrong choice.

    I know there are tons of meds out there, but I need to make the most educated choice on this.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    whats the point of being tops in sales if you have to spend all the money you make on weed?

    why else don't you have more than $150 ?
     
  5. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    1. No one expects you to be fixed by Monday, only fixing. You will look and feel better, however.

    2. Do you have health insurance? If so, the office visit and meds should be less than $50. If not, talk to them about payment options. You may even get starter meds free.

    3. The solution will be long term. If you are honest with the doctor and follow the advice to the letter, you will be fine.

    Ask your friends about their doctor, or go to a local pharmacy and tell them you are new in town and looking for a family doctor. Listen to what they tell you and pick one. You won't need to see a shrink unless the doctor recommends it.

    If you can't find a doctor to see you by Monday, go to the emergency room at your local hospital and explain your situation. The worst thing you can do at this point is nothing

    Good luck and keep us posted.
     
  6. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    It took a while to get this way, and it takes a while to get better. Nothing will be fixed by monday.

    Sounds gloomy, but i would rather be real than give you false hope. You will need more than your own desire to not be that way. Check out meetings, or go to a shrink, or both. Good luck.
     
  7. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Thanks guys! I bought some herbal meds recommended by friends while I try to find a highly-recommended doctor.

    To answer your questions: I smoked weed to self-medicate myself. Without it, I always had anxiety. NOW, it creates severe depression and self-consciousness while high.

    I DO NOT have health insurance, because my employer doesn't offer it

    And I don't have money because I just moved into a house. I moved into a house to get away from drugs. I left my entire group of friends behind for my future.

    And alright, if it's not going to be by monday, that's fine. But I will have to try extremely hard to control my mood

    Why did this not happen to my friends? This is unheard of by anybody I talk to....
     
  8. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    It happened to my son with weed and me with alcohol. It is more widespread than you can imagine.
     
  9. delay pedal

    delay pedal Guest

    happened to me with weed
    it gets better with time as your brain and body adjust to not having an outside source to relax it
     
  10. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    I really appreciate and respect yall for your help here. :)

    I will try these herbal meds and try to find a good doctor. I've asked my friends, but they really don't know any doctors or have recommendations.

    Are there any free sites I could use? But, I'm very uptight about spending money (not in the best situation right now), especially if it has to do with my health.

    Thank you so much OT!
     
  11. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    it never did with me, it's kinda weird not that you mention it. Of course, i was a stimulant guy so maybe that's just hte way was.
     
  12. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    www.na.org
     
  13. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    I know what you are going through, exactly.
    this is what you need to do:
    go to GNC, purchase 5-HTP
    take them daiy
    done
     
  14. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    I've been taking 5-HTP ever since I started Ecstasy (Which I stopped).

    It worked, but now it stopped working.

    Life seems dull during the day. Mornings are fine, and night time is fine. During the day at work its bad.

    So now I try a multi-vitamin (Now 5 for Men), Omega 3 Fatty Acid, and St. Johns Wort at night, before bed.

    :) We'll see where it goes. It seems to get a little better everyday. It gets to the same level of anxiety/depression/whatever, but the period I'm in that is less everyday so far.
     
  15. persian451

    persian451 New Member

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    Green tea and exercise before work man. Go for a run or something. You need to get your brain going before selling.
     
  16. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    I used to feel fine...

    NOBODY else I know that did E a few times went through this.

    When I'm up, I justify why it's just a phase

    When I'm down, I justify every reason I"ve been depressed my whole life

    But with 5 times of E use (5 pills total), I shouldn't feel like this. Or a year of constant pot.

    I feel like a long-term druggie new to rehab or some shitt...

    After these pills, my sales went up a little bit

    i feel better a lil, but i feel weird/confused/drugged in a way
     
  17. persian451

    persian451 New Member

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    well E sure doesn't help the brain, depending on the quality. Nevertheless, the term "e-tard" originated somewhere.

    I'm sure you'll be fine my friend. Take a vacation or go for walks/jogs. Should help clear the mind :)
     
  18. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Well, so far I feel a LOT better. Not sure if it's the pills or my body getting used to being sober. Hopefully the latter, and hopefully I don't have to ween myself off the pills. Bah.

    As of now, everything is fine except for the cloudy/heavy head feeling I have. I feel a bit confused, like my brain is on a small dose of acid.
     
  19. SebNoker

    SebNoker New Member

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    Keep it up dude!!! My friend was a heavy weed smoker, when he didnt get weed, he got REALLY depresed....had to ween him of it over a year or so...so you doing real good!
     
  20. GuildX700

    GuildX700 New Member

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    Beyond all the fixes, sometimes you have to fight past the feelings. They are there and they suck, but...even though you may feel heavy and down and dull/gloomy, press on and do things that are positive. Brush up on sales techniques, read a positive book, watch a positive movie. Exercise gets things back into balance big time. Try prayer. Plant a seed of faith in your life and let it grow.
     
  21. Mortixer

    Mortixer New Member

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    well first of all its agaisnt the law to fire a recovering drug addict and despite it being weed you technically are if you check into rehab which if you see a doctor and get things moving you are classified as such. Dont worry help is within your reach.
     
  22. roedrp

    roedrp New Member

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    This is exactly what i went through except i ended up leaving my job. I worked for Sprint selling phones and quit back in may due to my overall inability to deal with work stress'. Ive smoked weed for about 4 years now pretty much every day. I used E for the first time last year and really liked it. I was doing a couple pills on the weekend for about a month until i realized what an idiot i was. Ive smoked weed for so long i dont feel like myself when im not high. Ive tried not smoking weed successfully for about 3 months but the whole time i felt like shit. depressed, anxious, irratable, inability to concentrate. When i started smoking again, i came back to life. the only shitty part is that the depression and the anxieties now followed. Im to the point where the rest of my life is ruined by my habits. but the more i think about it i realize that i have dissolved all self control and moderation. its not that weed is this super terrible drug but more or less my inability to deal with life... at first it was a social thing and now its a necessity.

    Sales is a tough and stressful gig and alot of times when you spend all day exerting your energy you want something else to make you relax. I used to try to exercise to relive those anxieties but found that my body was the lead recipiant and my head still needed something to take the edge off so i smoked. I taken every natural supplement under the sun. I think they help but its mostly up to you and finding in life what you love again.
     

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