About the first time for a female.....

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SCirone, Aug 29, 2005.

  1. SCirone

    SCirone Moderator

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    Does it always hurt? There is this girl that I am talking to that is a virgin, and I have never had sex with a virgin. We are really close and she has even told me that she thinks I am the right one for her firs time. What I am asking is, Is there anything that can be done to make it gentler on her? I have heard things like if she wears tampons it makes it less painful. Is there anything else? Remeber now, the most this girl has ever done is gotten felt up, nothing below the waist.
     
  2. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Oy.....

    Well beyond the whole social interaction and relationship aspect, which does have a large effect on the first time, there's a lot of mental to sex......

    But to the physical.....

    Take it slow, usually a lot of fingering, will help, for lack of a better term, loosen her up. Make sure she is very arroused, this usually helps to again for lack of a better term, open up, making her vagina more receptive to have a penis inserted.
    People will tell you "lots of lube", but I've found that if she isn't naturally "lubed" enough, any amount of lube really isn't going to help much. To get to this point lots of foreplay is needed, this is also where the fingering will help, during the foreplay.

    But beyond that, I don't know how I'd take a comment like: "I think you're the right one for my first time." :ugh: I guess I'm just a little old fashion and look at sexual partner as my last partner, at least until something doesn't work out.

    No it doesn't always hurt.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2005
  3. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    Maybe sex isn't the right step yet. Perhaps you could finger her or try oral. If she has never done anything below the waist I think sex is a little too far. If you guys care about each other, then her first time is going to mean something and stay with her. I think you should take it a little further, but without sex first.
     
  4. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Yep, get her as excited relaxed as you can. A few drinks may ehlp her feel more secure. The only virgin I have been with, would only do it if she was on top so she could control the speed and how deep it went.
     
  5. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    I don't know about anyone else, but I want my GFs first time to be a (completly) sober one. I'd feel bad about her first time being even a little intoxicated.
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Why? Its not like you are raping her. She knows ahead of time what she wants to do with. Besides, Its not about getting her wasted. It's about giving her a lillte extra boost of confidence and getting her relaxed.
     
  7. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    Im going through the same thing right now, im 22, shes 19, i want her first time to be wonderful. However i consider myself fairly experianced and knowledgeable sexually, so im not worried about hurting her too much, more like just wanting her to enjoy it.
     
  8. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    I realize it's not about getting her wasted, but I'd still ratherher be fully sober, then ANY influence from alcohol or other substances, I want her to be fully aware of what is happening and not have any liquid courage, because she might regret that later, it also just doesn't seem right, to need to use even mild intoxication to want to have sex, if it's needed, then she probably shouldn't be trying so hard to have sex.
    There is a time and place when it will be right for her, she should know when not to, when she'd not relaxed enough, when she is not really into it.
     
  9. Laurel

    Laurel New Member

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    i agree that you should take it a step further but not involve sex yet. Go down on her!!!! The more comfortable she is with your face down there, the more comfortable she'll be with your penis down there. :)
     
  10. SCirone

    SCirone Moderator

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    Ya, whenever it does happen (no, we arent going straight to sex, we have a relationship, so we are going to wait it out for a bit) I plan on going as slow as I can for her comfort. I just dont want it to be a bad expiernce for her and for her to be "scared for life"
     
  11. SCirone

    SCirone Moderator

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    Ever since we first met, we just fell in love with each other, like i had this deep feeling in my chest about how and she told me she felt the same, before I even said anything. I never felt this way about anyone before and it was just so over whelming. The best way that I can describe it is love at first sight/true love. Yes I know that most people think that it is stupid for some one of our age (19, both of us) to feel this way, but it is the feelings we have.
     
  12. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Yeah, I had those feelings before, 3 years later we were moving in to our own seperate apartments. :rofl:
     
  13. SCirone

    SCirone Moderator

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    Ya, I realize that it doesnt work out alot of times, but you never know if you dont take the chance Trial and Error is all part of human life.

    Also, what is the best position for first time for a female, her on top or missionary?
     
  14. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    Ideally, the best position for a first time is girl on top, so she can control it all, however, i bet 9/10 first times are missionary so the guy is in control.
     
  15. CelesteLeSonne

    CelesteLeSonne DEWmocracy

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    depends on the chyck... tampons + stuff didn't help stretch me out before hand.
    i had to tear, quite a bit.
    but i've heard of chycks not bleeding or anything.
    lube might help, even if she's really wet.
     
  16. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Yeah, I'm not saying, don't take the chance, but just realize that if things don't work out, it's not the end of the world. Took me a few break ups to realize that. ;)


    Yeah Missionary is probably easiest, though cowgirl definatly has it advantages, for various reasons, I think it makes the woman tense up too much and may actually make a nervous first time even more difficult. Flexing her leg muscles to support herself could make her tense her vagina, part of the reason I like cowgirl. :naughty:
    I'd suggest a position that allows her to relax completly.

    Beyond physical characteristics/postitions, a lot of first time/too tight problems come from just being nervous/uncomfortable. Make sure she's comfortable, both physically and emotionally. There's a lot more mentaly going on than you think, and many many things effect her response to the first time, second time, third time, five hundred and sixty eighth time, etc.
     
  17. IreLynx

    IreLynx New Member

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    My first was with me on top so I could control everything. It still hurt like hell, but at least if it hurts too bad you can "lift up" a bit, reposition to where it's more comfortable (angle/etc.), & move at your own pace. Once it's in for a few minutes it gets better & after a little while of movement you don't even really notice the pain until after.
     
  18. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    Hopefully, i'll found out how it feels for her sometime soon. No rush as the girl is awesome, and im in it for that not sex. :)
     
  19. PitScar

    PitScar Yeah, that's my realtor's name

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    Ok, so girls all say that it hurts so bad the first time (consider me King Rookie), but what is it exactly that hurts? Tearing of what?
     
  20. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    Well if they have a hymen, which covers the opening of the vagina, that is "torn" away when a penis enters. However, it can be broken many other ways.

    Also, imagine the toys you played with when you were 3. You had to pound a little round wooden block in a hole. If you tried to put one too big in, it didnt fit.
     

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